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Everyday we all know, our list of things to do, continue to grow. As your children grow they look at you, full attention is on you. How you respond, attend, and show up is a priority to developmental growth. All eyes on you is a fact to life. Children want to grow and develop to be strong adults in life. It’s important how the parent relays facts to life. Be present, show up, and listen. Children crave you, your attention, your affection, and your time.
It’s important to be responsive
It is important to be responsive to your child’s needs. This means meeting their needs promptly and consistently. When you respond quickly and appropriately to your child’s needs, they learn that they can rely on you. Trust and honesty are what a child needs to feel safe and secure. This teaches children to be honest and good adults in life.
The importance of consistency
It is important to be consistent in your parenting. This means establishing routines and sticking to them. Children feel secure when they know what to expect from their parents. Consistency allows children to feel connected to their parents. A child can grow and develop emotions and mental health in a positive direction. Children need consistency to promote healthy mental health.
Hold and cuddle your child often
One of the best ways to create a secure attachment with your child is to hold and cuddle them often. This physical affection helps your child feel loved and secure, and can go a long way in establishing a strong bond between you and your child. Try to make a point of cuddling with your child every day, even if it’s just for a few minutes at bedtime or during morning snuggles. Like the ole’ saying goes, “Hugs go along way, even when they aren’t near”.
Respond promptly to your child’s needs
Another important tip for creating a secure attachment is to respond promptly to your child’s needs. This doesn’t mean you need to drop everything every time your child cries or call off work whenever they’re sick – but it does mean being attentive and responsive when they really need you. If possible, try to have at least one parent or caregiver available who can respond quickly to any major needs or issues that arise. Being attentive helps your child develop positive emotional connections. Connecting with others is an excellent ability to establish.
Establish routines and stick to them
Finally, another helpful tip for creating a secure attachment is to establish routines and stick to them as much as possible. Having consistent routines gives children a sense of security and predictability, which can help reduce anxiety and promote feelings of safety and well-being. Try to maintain regular mealtimes, bedtimes, bath times, etc., as much as possible, and let your child know what to expect ahead of time so they can feel prepared and comfortable. Routine can help a child feel responsible and safe. It’s okay to give your child a schedule to adhere to.
A secure attachment between parent and child is vital for the healthy development of the child. Attachment provides children with a sense of safety and security, which is essential for their emotional well-being. There are many ways to create a secure attachment with your child, but some of the most important include bonding, responsiveness, and consistency. By following these tips, you can give your child the foundation they need to thrive.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
We’ve all been there: you finally find the one, the person who you know will make you happy for the rest of your life and create beautiful babies with, and you once can’t imagine life without them. But before too long, this love turns to hate, and that person that you once loved so much now seems like an enemy who wants to make your life as difficult as possible. What happened? How did such pure love turn into pure hate? A lot of it comes down to two factors: expectations, and external circumstances. Let’s understand each of these factors in turn.
The Infatuation Stage When you first start dating someone new, it’s like you’re in love. You can’t get enough of each other and you want to spend every waking moment together. You have this intense need for the person that never goes away. It feels so good to be with them and when you’re not with them, you can’t stop thinking about them. All your time is spent imagining what they might be doing and why they haven’t replied to your last text. They consume your thoughts and nothing else seems important or even interesting anymore. But then, as you spend more time together, something starts to change. Gradually you find yourself wondering if maybe this was all just a temporary feeling – an infatuation stage – and not true love after all. There are times where they seem almost too perfect, so much so that it becomes hard to see any flaws. And you find yourself questioning everything – the relationship, your compatibility and whether or not they’re right for you.
The Dealing with Imperfections Stage It’s not uncommon for a couple to enter the Dealing with Imperfections stage. This is when you realize that life isn’t perfect and that you are no longer in love with your partner. You see their flaws and it can be difficult to overlook them. It’s important to understand that this is a natural stage in the relationship and it does not mean there is anything wrong with you or your partner. All relationships have highs and lows and this is just one of those low moments. The best way to get through this phase is by being patient, open-minded, and working on improving yourself before expecting too much from your partner. The time will pass and things will return to normal.
It might take some time but patience is key to making things better. Remembering what you loved about each other and what made you happy in the past is also a good idea. If all else fails, don’t hesitate to seek professional help! It may seem scary at first, but it could end up saving your marriage. Marriage counseling is an excellent way to address these problems as well as many others like communication problems or intimacy issues. No matter how dark things seem now, remember that these difficulties won’t last forever if you work together.
The Resentment Stage Stage one of the love-hate relationship is often called the resentment stage. In this stage, the couple’s love has morphed into something else. It’s not as intense or passionate. The romance is gone. But there’s still a sense of attachment to each other and most importantly a sense of ownership in the relationship. That one partner you will never let go of or give up on. This can be felt by both partners in varying degrees. Some couples are able to bounce back from it and get back into an even greater feeling. But others can’t seem to shake the feeling off no matter what they do. For some people, it’s easier said than done because their hurt is so deep that they lash out at their partner. With anger and bitterness which only makes things worse between them. And yet others just don’t feel like they’re enough for their significant other any longer. And when these feelings boil to the surface all at once, it doesn’t take much for a fight to break out and for one person to say something unforgivable that sends everything crashing down around him/her. When someone feels pushed too far, he/she snaps. And the one who was pushed over the edge finally explodes–lashing out in anger, unleashing his/her wrath–in hopes that it would make everything better. However, most often times nothing changes and instead becomes even more toxic. There are arguments about how money should be spent or how plans were made without input from the other party. Whatever reason for fighting about things, issues just continue to grow until eventually one partner either gives up on the relationship entirely (walking away) or reconciles and tries again to work things out (only to have another argument). What many people forget is that relationships are hard work.
The Break-Up Stage It’s a cycle that so many of us have been through. You’re in love with someone. You’re happy and life is perfect. And then it all falls apart. Without warning and without reason, you just wake up one day and find yourself hating the person you once loved so much. The reasons for these break-ups vary from person to person – it could be due to betrayal or just losing interest over time – but there are some commonalities that we can identify here. First, after being together for a long time, we start to take each other for granted. We stop appreciating what we have and only focus on what’s wrong instead. Second, resentment starts building up between both people until finally it breaks out into anger or fighting. Third, we start comparing ourselves to other people because we don’t think our relationship is enough anymore or because things get really tough during hard times like when one partner loses their job or gets sick. Lastly, at this stage, we often want different things than our partner. One of them may want children while the other doesn’t want kids at all; one may want marriage while the other isn’t sure about commitment; one might feel that they need space but the other wants to stay together no matter what. These differences can create problems even if one of the partners agrees to compromise. All these factors play a role in why relationships fall apart and why we end up hurting the ones we love.
Communication and commitment are important factors to help relationships. The challenges take a lot of work. In return it takes both parties to overcome the challenges. If you fail to put in the work, naturally it crumbles in time. It’s not easy to leave, but it’s a wonderful feeling to be happy once again.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞💞
It’s no secret, and truth is out there. That living in an abusive relationship can be harmful to your physical and mental health, as well as your self-esteem, but it’s not always so easy to figure out how to get out of one. It takes time for days, months, and even years to leave a toxic relationship. Sadly, some never leave the relationship, and the abuser takes the life of the victim.
Recognize the signs of a toxic relationship Unfortunately, we don’t always know when we’re in a toxic relationship. There are signs that can help you identify the toxicity and get out of it before it hurts your life any more than it already has. -The person always criticizes you and never agrees with what you say or do. -They make you feel like everything is your fault. -You’re always walking on eggshells around them and they don’t seem to care how they make you feel. -No matter what you do for them, it’s never good enough. You just end up feeling frustrated and powerless. -Nothing is ever their fault; it’s always yours. -It feels like no matter what happens, this person will have an excuse for why things went wrong. They’ll find ways to blame you for anything and everything that goes wrong in their lives too. -Nothing is ever their fault; it’s always yours. -Be honest with yourself about whether these behaviors happen only sometimes, frequently or all the time. If these behaviors happen all the time, then there’s a high chance your partner is not being respectful of you.
Set boundaries with your partner In order to survive in a toxic relationship, you have to set boundaries with your partner. For example, don’t answer the phone when they call or text you. If they come over, tell them it’s not safe for you right now and that you’ll talk later. The next time they come over, say no and ask them to leave your house. You can also try changing your cell number if necessary. When they make contact again, do not speak to them. Write down everything they do and document it so you will know what repeated behaviors to look out for in the future. Seek help from friends and family who support you. Find an outlet (such as writing) to release any pent-up emotions from dealing with this situation. Keep yourself busy to avoid having too much idle time on your hands. Talk to people close to you about how they feel about what is happening because it helps and gives them peace of mind knowing they are there for you.
Create a support system The only way you can survive an abusive relationship is by building up your support system. You need family, friends and even strangers that will be there for you no matter what. This will help you feel less isolated and like you’re not the only one going through this. If they know how bad it’s gotten, they might also be able to offer ideas on how to deal with it or ways you can get out. If these people don’t want to take on the burden of being involved in your life all the time, find some who do! Just because he doesn’t want to fix his problems doesn’t mean you have to stay at home crying and waiting for him. Spend time with friends, join groups, go online- anything that gets you out of the house.
Seek professional help If you are in an abusive or toxic relationship, it is time to get help. You deserve happiness and shouldn’t have to stay in a relationship with that kind of environment. We encourage you reach out for the help you need. There is always someone there for you if you need them; whether it be family, friends, or professionals who can help with your situation. Remember, life isn’t meant to be miserable. Make sure that if you decide to leave a relationship like this, do so safely and don’t take anything from the other person that may jeopardize your safety – including social media passwords. The first few days after leaving will feel like the end of the world, but know that they will pass and things will start to seem better. Find new hobbies that make you happy, as well as meet new people who will support your decisions (even if they’re not perfect). You deserve happiness and don’t have to stay in a relationship where you’re constantly unhappy because this is how it’s supposed to be. Life isn’t meant to be miserable! Know that you deserve happiness and shouldn’t be staying in a relationship where you’re constantly unhappy because this is how it’s supposed to be. one day soon you’ll realize all of this has been worth it.
Know when to walk away There are many reasons why you may need to end your relationship. Are you being mistreated? Has your significant other been unfaithful? Does he/she refuse to do anything with you? The list goes on and on. It can be hard to make the decision, but know that there is life after the breakup. The first step is acknowledging the problems in your relationship, then deciding if it’s worth trying for change or if it’s time for him/her to go. To reach this conclusion, ask yourself these questions: -Does your partner get jealous easily and try to control what you wear, who you talk to, etc.? , stay in the relationship. If they’re not respecting your boundaries, they don’t deserve you. If they’re not respecting your boundaries, they don’t deserve you. If their not respecting your boundaries,they don’t deserve you. I live here too. When love goes bad, sourness fills the room daily. Pain of cheating, abuse, and demands. But I live here too, it is my favorite word. No love, just anger, and tears. Not married or married, or together for too long. It’s hard but it passes in time. You are a priority, you matter most. Sometimes overtime, we wake up and know it’s time to go. May tomorrow be your day, so happiness fills your soul once again. You deserve love, peace, and happiness. 💕
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
It’s been called needy, codependent and other names, but when it’s someone close to you and you love them dearly, nothing else seems to matter. You want to take care of them and make them happy; you want to be there whenever they need you and anticipate their needs as if they were your own.
* Feeling like you’re always needed I often feel like I’m needed all the time, which is great because it’s an ego boost. However, sometimes it gets to be too much. I find myself constantly checking my phone or thinking about who needs me next. I have to remind myself that I need me too, and take some time for myself. Sometimes when I do this, I notice how it affects other people in a positive way. They are more productive and happier when they’re not worried about me being there for them at any moment. Being needed has its upsides, but also has its downsides. For example, as soon as you stop needing someone else, they start feeling neglected. It can be hard to balance the highs and lows of wanting to help others while still caring for yourself.
*Having to be in control all the time The neediness can be overwhelming at times, but it has its perks. You know you have people who rely on you. It’s empowering to be needed. But some days, I just feel like I’m a puppet being pulled around by my strings, with no say in what goes on in my life or theirs. I don’t want to be co-dependent or codependent, but it seems inevitable when you’re involved with someone who needs you all the time. When they ask for your opinion and validation, even if they already know what you’re going to say because they already asked before, it makes me feel so important. ( A thought that doesn’t cross my mind) And then there are the moments where everything comes crashing down and they make me feel powerless. Moments where they demand things from me, not knowing how much I’m struggling myself. Moments where you try to be strong and put on that happy face, but inside you’re dying. It leaves me wondering if this is worth it? Those are just overwhelming emotions that come with being needed. In time, those trying moments do pass.
*Dealing with the emotional ups and downs There are many challenges that come with being needed all the time. It can be very rewarding, but you also have to find your balance. You always need to make time for yourself, or else it can get overwhelming. There will be days when you feel like everything is going well, and then there are days where you are at rock bottom with no one to talk to about what’s going on in your head. On those days, finding someone who understands how you feel is crucial. It is important to remember that not everyone experiences this feeling on a daily basis; some people do not even experience this feeling at all! There are ways of self-care that may seem silly, but they really work. These things may include journaling , deep breathing, or listening to music. I’ve found that during times when I’m feeling so anxious I don’t know what to do with myself, writing down my thoughts gives me clarity and helps me put things into perspective again. You need to take care of yourself before you are able to take care of others – and even if it means saying “no” from time to time! I know that word “no’ is far fetched from my vocabulary. It’s okay to say ‘no” to feel your own inner needs at times. One”no” I can’t today, will give you a feeling of clarity. Clarity of peace of mind and a moment of fresh breathe. It’s okay because it generally works out. Everything is okay, saying yes or no. It’s just fine, and everyone is okay, 😁
*The physical toll it takes Neediness is draining. It’s one thing to have an emotional attachment to someone else, but it’s another when you’re expected to be at their beck and call. You start feeling more like a servant than a significant other. And you’re not even sure if it’s just this person or all people in general, which doesn’t make things any better for your self-esteem. If anything, they are doing you a favor by accepting your company at all – so they must want to see you too? Sometimes it feels as though there is no real meaning behind anything. There is no love or emotion involved in what should be relationships. When I am needed, I feel desired. I love how much he needs me when he wakes up in the morning before going to work. He can barely get out of bed without holding onto my arm first and having me with him while he drinks his coffee. When I’m not needed anymore, I need to be able to give myself permission to say no. My friends keep telling me that these feelings will pass, that it’s not worth getting caught up in something that won’t last. But how do you know until it ends? How do you know if something is worth giving up your life for now because tomorrow may never come?
*The mental challenges I’ve found that being needed all the time can have its highs as well as its lows. One day, you may be feeling like you are the most important person to someone else, but then another day they’ll ignore your text message or call. You start to question what they’re doing with their life, and why they don’t want you around. It’s hard not to take it personally, especially when you’re putting in so much effort. It becomes difficult to maintain composure when things seem like they are going downhill. One minute, you’re at the top of your game – making a difference in this world and impacting people’s lives. And then the next moment, you feel powerless again because something goes wrong and there is nothing left for you to do. You feel useless because there was no way for you to control it or prevent it from happening
*Life happens Sometimes we meet up with challenges that are beyond our control. Life takes turns for the worst sometimes, and we can only hope for better days ahead. When we face these challenges head on instead of letting them overcome us, we gain more than just relief from stress.. We gain wisdom and strength in knowing how to handle similar situations in the future!. These challenges push us out of our comfort zones, which can be both mentally and physically exhausting. But overcoming these obstacles leaves you feeling powerful! Not many other things in life leave you feeling this strong after getting through it!
Feeling needed is great at times. The neediness catches up to our well-being, unexpectedly. Leaving us feeling that another person may inhibit doing for themselves when able. Taking advantage of your time and your own personal space. If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay. The feelings will pass when you regain your space and time. Being needed is a rewarding feeling. Those feelings can be overwhelming when challenges occur. It’s okay to set boundaries and maintain your own need of physical and mental health.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
Every time we get drunk or high, eat junk food, binge on TV shows, gamble compulsively, watch porn, exercise to the point of injury, or commit any other kind of self-destructive behavior, we’re engaging in addictive behavior. And like everything else in life that we engage in too much of (sex, eating candy bars) there are negative consequences.
* Adolescent Behavior – Identifying Addictive The psychology of addiction is not about the how, why, when, what, and where behavior. The behavior that triggers the response to more. What happens to promote addiction is the root. (creations of) That come alive within our minds during adolescent years and developmental growth are normal. Experimenting with drugs and alcohol, trying different things sexually, smoking cigarettes – all these things can cause a person to become addicted. It is hard for us as humans to have control over anything in life but this one thing which has power over us is most often the result of people’s pain or disappointments in life. Addictions can be a way of coping with negative emotions. When you feel really angry, scared, frustrated, lonely or sad it’s easy to cope by using your addiction as an escape mechanism and temporarily forgetting about those bad feelings. With long-term use an addict will feel like they need the drug just to survive because it alters their brain chemistry so that feeling good becomes synonymous with using the drug.
*Understanding Addiction Behavior – What Goes on Inside? There are two systems in the brain that regulate how we behave and respond to substances. One is the reward system, which is fueled by neurotransmitters like dopamine. The other is the inhibitory system, which inhibits our impulses and desires for substances. When a person’s brain has been altered by chronic substance use, their balance between these two systems changes. The reward system becomes more active and the inhibitory system becomes less effective at regulating behavior. As this continues, the addict needs more and more of the substance to produce an effect—even if they start with small amounts. It becomes harder to stop using, even when they want to or know they should stop.
* Why Does Addiction Occur? While there is no one single cause for addiction, some risk factors may include genetics or a history of trauma. Genetics plays an important role in the development of addiction, because it can influence our brain’s reward system. For example, people with a family history of alcohol use disorder are more likely to develop this disorder themselves, and people who have experienced trauma as children are more likely to struggle with drug use disorders. Other risk factors that may lead to addiction include environmental influences such as peer pressure and availability. In other words, living in a community where substance abuse is prevalent can increase your chances of developing an addiction. These environments affect how we think about drugs and make them seem appealing.
* When Do Addictions Occur? Addictions typically start during adolescence, which is when the brain has a lot of development going on. Experiments with drugs and alcohol can be seen as normal at this point in life, but it is important to remember that addiction can take hold before the adolescent is even aware. In fact, 90% of cases are reported to start by age 18. With mental illnesses like depression or bipolar disorder being common among those who struggle with addiction, treatment for these conditions may help to lessen or stop the use of substances. Lastly, there have been recent studies showing that social media apps like Instagram and Snapchat can serve as triggers for those struggling with addiction due to their constant need for instant gratification. There are other factors such as biology and genetics, stressors such as trauma or abuse, and more that play into the psychology of addiction.
* What Triggers It? In a study by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, they found that nicotine is an addicting drug because it stimulates the release of dopamine in reward areas of the brain. Studies also show that people with mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, may abuse drugs and alcohol to help relieve symptoms. In other cases, people might start using drugs or alcohol because friends or family members use them. Other possible triggers for addiction include depression, anxiety, physical pain or discomfort, boredom, and stress. People who experience these conditions are more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol for relief. Some people find that when they drink alcohol, their problems seem less important than before; some report being able to forget about past mistakes while others say they feel more social while drinking; some report feeling more confident and outgoing when under the influence of substances. For others, substances are used to self-medicate serious conditions like chronic pain.
* Where Do Addictions Come From? Addictions are the result of a complex interaction between genetic vulnerability and environmental factors. It is important to note that there is no single gene for addiction, but it does seem to be more prevalent in families with a history of addiction. In addition to genetics, childhood trauma, stress and neglect have been shown to have an effect on the development of an addiction. Stressful situations release cortisol and other hormones into the body which can lead to addiction if not dealt with properly. However, any person can become addicted regardless of their environment if they use substances regularly.
* Expanding Consciousness – Solutions What starts out as a small, seemingly harmless habit can quickly spiral into full-blown addiction. Many factors contribute to the development of addiction, and one crucial factor is the individual’s sense of self. When people feel disconnected from their true selves, they may seek temporary relief from this disconnection through substance abuse. When people are able to connect with their core selves and feel more aligned with who they truly are, they are much less likely to develop an addiction. Once a person does start using substances in an unhealthy way, it becomes harder for them to stop on their own without professional help. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) reports that 90 percent of those addicted to alcohol or other drugs need help getting sober but only 10 percent actually receive treatment. Fortunately there are many avenues for support if you or someone you know needs help managing or overcoming addiction.
The truth of addictive Behavior, easy to start, is hard to quit. One may struggle for sobriety daily, changing routine and finding the root cause is the solution. Facing the issue will help find peace to self contentment. Addiction is real and it’s one day at a time. Recovery isn’t easy, but starting is the first try.
Until our beautiful minds meet again be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
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Your morning shower routine can set the tone for your entire day. You may not think your shower has much to do with how you feel as you go about your daily business, but it does. Your morning shower should be one of the first things you do when you wake up in the morning, and it should be relaxing, invigorating and even fun so that you can get on with your day with a positive outlook and without becoming stressed out or burned out by the end of the day.
✔️ How to get up early The morning routine consists of a few key components. Start by getting up at the same time every day, even on weekends and vacations. Once you’re up, drink a glass of water and do some light stretching or go for a short walk to help you wake up. After that it’s time to get ready for the day ahead. Wash your face with cold water to tighten your pores and give your skin a refreshing jolt, then apply moisturizer or eye cream. Now it’s time for breakfast! Make sure to include protein in your meal. Protein will keep you full until lunchtime and promote weight loss in the process. Throw in an avocado toast or Greek yogurt if you need more sustenance before heading out the door. If you don’t have time for breakfast, pack a healthy lunch before heading out into the world – this will keep hunger pangs at bay throughout the day! Make sure to stop by a coffee shop too – caffeine boosts mental energy, mood and alertness when consumed early in the day. Plus, we all know what happens when you try to function without coffee. Skip drinking caffeinated beverages late in the day because it may interfere with sleep quality later on. Stay hydrated all day long – set reminders for yourself so you never forget to drink enough water or other liquids like fruit juice or coconut water. As soon as I’m done drying my hair, I like to make sure my teeth are clean and fresh before going back downstairs and starting my workday.
✔️ What to do before you start your day 🧼 Before you jump into your day, spend a few minutes on yourself. Take a shower, brush your teeth and comb your hair, then put on your favorite outfit or some nice cologne. Try to do this as early as possible in the morning to avoid rushing around later when you’re trying to get out the door for work. This way you’ll start off with a smile and feel better about yourself all day long. Studies have shown that people who use deodorant regularly tend to be happier and more confident than those who don’t. So make sure you use it! It will also help you feel more awake and less stressed throughout the day. When I’m feeling sluggish or worn down, I try to take a quick break for 10-20 minutes where I just sit back, relax, and focus on my breathing until I feel reenergized again. We can’t always control what happens in our lives but we can always control how we react to these things which is why starting your day with a positive attitude is so important!
✔️ How to set yourself up for success One of the best ways to start your day off on a positive note is by starting with a shower. The scent of soap, the hot water, and the fact that you’re getting clean can all have powerful effects on your mood. Plus, it’s an easy and quick way to take care of yourself without having to do anything too strenuous. Once you’re done with your morning shower, you’ll have time for coffee or breakfast before heading out for the day. If you need some more reading material, use these tips as your guide. 1) Take some deep breaths while you focus on breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth 2) Focus on one specific thing that makes you happy 3) Count down from ten to one 4) Think about what makes you feel calm 5) Be sure to keep something fun planned for later in the evening 6) Write down five things you’re grateful for 7) Meditate
✔️ Ending your day with a smile In the morning, starting your day with a smile is important and will help put you in a good mood for the rest of your day. In the shower, try to avoid focusing on negative thoughts or any problems that may be weighing you down. You can’t change what has happened and dwelling on it won’t help anything. Spend your time in the shower letting go of any negativity and think about all of the things that make you happy. Think about how nice it feels when you get out of the shower and how fresh and clean your skin feels. Think about waking up tomorrow morning when you’ll feel refreshed and ready to start your day off right! Focus on these positive thoughts while you’re washing yourself clean.
✔️ How an evening shower feels better than an evening nap 🚿 A nap might seem energizing when your tired. Did you know a shower is more effective? Interesting that a shower boosts mood and refreshes energy. The positive effects are remarkable just by being refreshed by a shower. The sense of a power nap, replaced by a shower. Simply effective that enhances an ability to gain quality energy, once again. Next time you’re feeling sluggish and need a boost, try taking a shower. It’s proven to promote both physical and mental health, just by showering.
A start of the day with a shower is the next step to living a clean, happy, and healthy life. When one may not believe the effects of showering. Think about this for a moment:. We have all been sick with a cold or flu. The common thing most of us do is medicate and sleep. Laying in the germs that got left behind in our bed. Sleep we believe is the cure, right? Take a shower a couple times a day while you’re sick and see how much better you feel. To reduce recovery time and increase energy levels, turn on that shower and refresh the immune system. Give it a try, Start Your Day With A Smile: Your Shower Routine Does Matters 🚿🧼
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
It’s no secret that mental health is a taboo topic. We don’t like to talk about it, and when we do, we often sugarcoat the truth. But if we’re ever going to break the stigma around mental health, it’s important that we start being honest with ourselves about our own mental health status.
Honesty is important for a number of reasons. Firstly, it can help you understand your mental health status. If you’re honest with yourself about how you’re feeling, you can more easily identify when something isn’t quite right. Secondly, honesty can help you seek help from professionals. If you’re honest about your mental health problems, you’re more likely to seek out treatment and support. Finally, honesty can also lead to better mental health outcomes. Studies have shown that people who are honest about their mental health problems are more likely to recover from them than those who aren’t.
Of course, there are also some risks associated with being honest about your mental health. Dishonesty can lead to mental health problems, as well as emotional distress. It’s important to weigh up the risks and benefits before deciding whether or not to be honest about your mental health status.
So what’s the bottom line? Honesty is always the best policy when it comes tomentalhealth. Being truthful with yourself – and with others – will help you better understand and manage yourmentalhealthstatus.
The Importance of Honesty in Mental Health
Why honesty is important
Mental health is an important part of our overall well-being. It includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.
Good mental health is not just the absence of mental illness. Everyone has times when they feel worried, stressed, or sad. But if these feelings don’t go away or if they interfere with your daily life, it could be a sign of a mental health problem.
Mental health problems are common among adults and children in the United States. In fact, about 1 in 5 adults experiences a mental illness in any given year. And 1 in 6 children aged 6–17 experiences a mental health disorder each year. Mental health disorders are real medical conditions that affect a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning.
Treating mental health disorders can help people live happy and productive lives. But first, people need to recognize that they have a problem. That’s where honesty comes in.
How to be honest with yourself
The first step to getting treatment for a mental health disorder is acknowledging that you have one. That might seem like a simple task, but it can be hard to be honest with yourself—especially if you’re used to putting on a brave face or downplaying your problems.
Here are some tips for being honest with yourself about your mental health:
· Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions: Do you find yourself frequently worrying or feeling down? Do you have negative thoughts about yourself? Do you avoid socializing because you’re afraid of what other people will think? If you’re noticing changes in your thoughts or emotions that are affecting your daily life, it’s time to talk to someone about your mental health.
· Be aware of changes in your behavior: Have you been drinking more alcohol than usual? Are you using drugs? Are you withdrawing from friends and activities that you used to enjoy? Changes in behavior can be signs of underlying mental health problems.
· Talk to someone who knows you well: A friend or family member who knows you well can often spot changes in your mood or behavior before you do. If someone close to you has expressed concern about your mental state, take their opinion seriously—even if it’s hard to hear what they have to say.
· Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to cope with your thoughts or emotions, it’s important to seek professional help. A mental health professional can assess your symptoms and give you a diagnosis. They can also provide you with treatment options and support.
The Benefits of Honesty in Mental Health
Honesty can help you understand your mental health status
It is important to be honest with yourself about your mental health in order to fully understand your current state. This includes being honest about how you are feeling, what kind of thoughts you are having, and any symptoms you may be experiencing. Once you have a better understanding of your mental health status, it will be easier to identify when something is off and seek help when necessary.
Honesty can help you seek help from professionals
If you are honest with yourself about your mental health, it will be easier to identify when you need professional help. Seeking help from a therapist or psychiatrist can be immensely beneficial in managing mental health conditions. Furthermore, honesty is important when working with mental health professionals in order to get the most accurate diagnosis and treatment plan.
The Consequences of Dishonesty in Mental Health
Dishonesty can lead to mental health problems
Mental health problems can arise when people are dishonest about their feelings or thoughts. When someone is in denial about their mental state, they may begin to experience anxiety, depression, or other issues. It’s important to be honest with yourself so that you can identify any potential mental health problems and seek professional help if needed.
Dishonesty can lead to emotional distress
Emotional distress can occur when people bottle up their emotions or try to hide them from others. This can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and low self-worth. If you’re not honest with yourself about how you’re feeling, it can be difficult to manage your emotions and cope with stress in a healthy way.
It is important to be honest with yourself about your mental health status in order to understand your condition and seek proper help. Honesty can be difficult, but it is worth it to get the most accurate picture of your mental health. Dishonesty about your mental health can lead to serious consequences, so it is always best to be truthful.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 🦋💕
The Mind and Eyes: End of Life – Final Days 👣 My Story My Version 👣
If life was only always so beautiful and pretty. Yes, I said pretty. We all live in that world of our own. A world that our minds will always view in our own time. Our personal way of believing and most of all thinking. To live the dream, stress free, family, children, financially stable, and be overwhelmed with happiness. I know that we dream those dreams when we are young. As adults, we are the builders to those dreams. In the eyes of our visitors, everything from the outside is beautiful. The builder of those dreams, that isn’t easy, stress free and a blissful dream. We see everyone around us building a home, for a family, it looks easier than reality offers. We are wired to see the world move in a favorable promise. Especially when others make it all seems easy . But is it really as easy, as it appears?
Life happens and situations take place.
And then…
Something happens, we hate to forcefully admit to even face the thought of – illness or sickness. But the final days of end of life – for ourselves or a loved one. In our happy minds we are all just going to live forever. Even that thought can be corrupted or faded far from our minds. Nobody wants to imagine life without someone they love dearly. Life is built around family and friends, a routine. Of course we all love those we spend time with.
Some illness can be short lived or terminal that can be life changing. Not only for the individual, but the loved ones as well. Either to help care for the person or being the one with the illness; we are involved. That’s what love is and that’s who I am. I have been on the flip side to be with loved ones who get that “news”. It is like having that illness yourself. It’s emotionally painful. That damn it moment because that settling reality takes awhile to hit home. A million and one thoughts roll through our head. Planning the care, the who, what, when, and where plays in our thoughts – Real truth.
Are we present when we get that “news”? Yes, we are, yet it’s a fogging blur to comprehend. Reality to grasp the truth is tough, as it can crawl to realize this is it. As a slow, speed of understanding and comprehension of the illness – our mind is preparing for the – real truth.. Acceptance, acknowledge, and respond. The what’s next? Our angels are present, to carry us though. Those preparation days are filled with illusions that are real. In the moment, we wonder who will take care of us? Or we are the caregiver that is right there. The crippling pain that lies ahead, good days, bad days, tears, laughter, but we are in it together. It’s not easy to watch the loved one during the final days of life. However, we are blessed for the time spent. The Final days are an insight of what’s to come. We watch our loved ones talk with those who wait and guide us through our final days. Those that may believe are hallucinations from the dying process are assumptions. The moments are not hallucinations; by far as the final days is quite interesting. Many will say it’s medication or brain activity that causes end of life responses. So much one can learn about life and death, being a caregiver or observing a loved one’s final days.
My grandma was not medicated through hospice. I controlled her intake of what medicine came from hospice. What was given was very little. Grandma was aware of what was going on around her. She was able to tell me what her needs were. If I already knew, grandma did not, I repeat did not want to be knocked out to sleep. If she slept that was that, if she was awake, she was awake.
My grandma at 92, didn’t want to leave “us”. Of course her body was tired, 92 is decades of wear and tear on a person. She never missed a day without being fully focused or alert. A woman who never smoked or drank alcohol a day in her life. Everyday hours and hours I spent as her granddaughter and caregiver. For almost 20 years, I was involved with grandma’s doctor visits and involved in her life in general. I knew Grandma well enough and talked to her daily. To know her routine, depression, and overall well-being. She always knew where she was and was alert to her surroundings.. In October 2020, during the pandemic grandma got the “news”. The damn old Cancer was back from vacation. The moment was real. No matter what I was in this for the good, bad, and the ugly. As I wheel grandma out from her cancer doctor visit, going through the motion took over. The real truth – I never really imagine life without grandma. Grandma was a huge part of my routine, my world, and who I was. To break the silence, I said well looks like you stuck with me now grandma. She said “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”. Telling grandma with this pandemic, least we don’t have to wear these mask. That did make us happy, and being grandma’s caregiver my caution to prevent covid-19 was priority.
We meet with Hospice and they would agree to check in once a week or if any concerns or questions we could call 24/7. Grandma stayed with my mom. I went over everyday from morning to evening. As I could almost pinpoint what was next. For the most part, grandma was pain-free in her final days. What’s the real truth is her final days. Having mouth and throat cancer; all medication stopped 8 days prior to – her end of life.
Here’s what some fail to notice: real truth. My experience as a granddaughter and caregiver during those last days.
In those final days, grandmas attitude and personality changed. She was happy and loving more than ever. Grandma would talk about her mom, she would say, “they talked about everything”. Grandma & I would laugh and I said, “why’s your mom coming when I’m not here”? She comes after work, grandma said she been working a lot. Asking what kind of work she did, she does what you do, check up on people. I said, grandma, she keeping her eye on you. Making sure your not out dancing and your here getting better. My mom does, she keeps me company, gives me comfort, and tells me about where she lives.. And she don’t have to do much since you do a good job. 😉 Where does your mom, stay grandma? Mom said, it’s a beautiful place, she can’t describe it. She says, I will see it soon and be very happy. Will you live with your mom, grandma? Grandma just shrugged her shoulders, as it didn’t matter. In the conversation I could feel the energy of excitement in grandma. I just listened, after a while, grandma said, we need to lock the doors and windows. Men are coming through the walls. As my response was: Dang grandma, what kind of men are coming through the walls? They will help move me and take me home, grandma smiled as she talked. It was a calm and collective tone of voice. Grandma didn’t seem worried or scared. Now, as I listen, you would think a person would be scared or afraid. However it seemed like grandma was happy and ready. To me it was like the process of end of life, something changes in a person.
Six days before my grandma passed, entering her room I stood, watched, and listened. As I saw a woman with a medium build, snow white hair, stand to the left side of grandmas bed. The conversation was unstoppable. I could hear grandma talk about her life here on earth. Grand & great grand kids, her own children, her bird, it was like catching up with an old friend. Grandma had a mouth sponge she used like a sucker. The excitement was part of her being fidgety, wide eyes, and very talkative. At this phase she had stopped eating and could not even drink or sip water. In the middle of her talking out loud I walked in the room to her presence. Her eyes were wide, her smile was endless, her excitement was felt. Greeting her as routine, ‘good morning, grandma”. Normally I get the same response, quickly. This time she couldn’t talk fast enough about the presence of her mom. She said they talked all night and she was exhausted. Grandma asked if I would be there with her that evening. I said of course, where are we going? She said, a man had to meet with her and they would have coffee and cookies – she could bring someone, then they sang and danced. It was a welcoming meeting, to mingle with others. I said, “welcome meeting”? Grandma said yes, that’s where I will be going, in a few days. The conversation: when am I going to go home? I said you are at home grandma. Just where you’re supposed to be.
As I listened to her, she said we will talk more afterwards when she got better. Now the conversation got real, she said “how much time do I have to live”? I knew Grandma wanted to live forever, so my response: “what makes you think your going somewhere”? She smiled and said, Well? I spoke from my heart. Not too much longer, maybe a week.. (She didn’t know her son from out of town was coming in). Her response was okay, the guy is supposed to talk to me tonight. Grandma kinda dozed off to sleep.
I was doing my normal daily routine, cleaning her room and changing bed sheets, regular care and out of nowhere. This day Grandma was full of information and questions. Grandma asked if my mom was okay? My mom checked in on grandma and helped when I wasn’t there, as they lived together. This question I knew Grandma needed to know. . I said, “yes grandma, my mom is fine”. I knew this was that question of being okay. To have her end of life there at the house, question. When the time comes you will be here as I promised. You will have all us that love you around, in this room.. Then you can fly with the angels, as they guide you to heaven”. You will be a beautiful soul renewed once you get to heaven.. She made a smirk and whispered. Then her eyes got big and said, “yes I know.”
She said, Della call the police see there, they are large with no clothes. Large men, that have high shoulders. If they are wings they have no feathers or hair. She said that they are not very pretty. Why are they here grandma? She said, they are supposed to move me, soon. I said, you’re not moving anywhere. She just shook her head yes.
I said, “are they people, angels, or what”? “Angels, Della”! Her voice cracked when she said those words. In a few blinks grandma kind of looked scared. She stared at me, barely using the mouth sponge, just as she got lost in thought, confused, or dazed.
Grandma knew she wasn’t hallucinating and was present to awareness., Very alert. She always knew her surroundings. I said, I thought Angels, were pretty and beautiful? Grandma shook her head, whispered “they are not. I always thought that too”. She said, your collection of Angels is pretty. I said, well they are not angels. In a crackled voice, yes, Della they came, maybe 4 or 5. Then she looked as if she was lost in conversation, staring again. After moments of silence, grandma starting talking a little. I laughed saying was you day dreaming? “No, Della those Angels just glow with nice colors”. With my own eyes, I could see a ray of what appeared to be a dust glow from the window. The light shines from the side window, from the sun. It was early afternoon, it had snowed I told grandma bout the weather. Grandma looked like she was dozing to sleep, then she look up and said, “see the light”? You didn’t hear anything I was saying did you? The man I talked to last night said watch for the light. Man? Light? Della, the man came to see me last night for the meeting, remember. I said, I wasn’t there. I went home last night. He came not long after you left. It was dark then?
“Yes, it was dark my night light was on he sat next to my bed. He even lifted me up in the bed a little.”. He had nice white hair and polite. I asked what he say? “Don’t be afraid”. Was you afraid or scared? A light laugh, “no I wasn’t afraid”. He held my hand and said words, I couldn’t understand him. Then he said he was taking the cancer and sickness from me. He did something cause I could hear him better.
Who was he? He is going to take me home. My heart broke and I could feel comfort, and peace filled the room. But you are home grandma, your not going anywhere. Until you fly with the Angels.🦋
It was real, my eyes teared up. Grandma in a demanding voice, “I know where I am. Right, when the Angels come”.
Grandma knew going home to heaven was flying with the Angels. No tears or sadness when she said those words.
I just watch her stare, barely any movement, fixated, in the moment. I went to the kitchen and was telling mom some of the conversation with grandma. Mom said it must be her days of confusion. I said she was not confused. I believe her, she is actually telling us how and what the process of death is. Just her way of not saying, I’m going through the dying process. But she was and I was able to observe, listen and learn. An unbelievable deep experience.
I had never questioned grandma for information. When she spoke of things I’d listen and make conversation with her. I will say that in her last couple days of life, she slowed in talking. I could talk about how I will miss her, love her, and say it’s okay for you to fly with the “Angels”. She always said “I Love you” back to me. Even on those days, but the stare was like a transitional exiting phase. I would talk crying my eyes out, and those moments were real truth. Life after death takes all pain away. Grandma had a few single tears maybe four total. In the two days of this process. My belief of pure truth life after death. Exiting our body during death is a process with an illness. As grandma said the man who came took cancer away.
I want to share some personal experience that’s – real truth. I can say, from experience I have walked, cried, been a caregiver over the years, watched, and learnt about death. Had I ever seen my loved ones cry before passing? Maybe a single tear, but cry? I have not. Now I have been the biggest cry baby moments before and after losing a loved one. That pain is crippling and life changing. We cry for the loss of a loved one, that’s entering eternal life of happiness. In my best knowledge, our minds are the way to life beyond death. As a person that experienced a realm to life after – the real truth beyond any hallucination of life. No matter the cause of death days prior, we will know. Our sense will be in a whole different presence. Something feels good but that we can’t fully grasp. Out of spontaneous energy, our sense of closure and connection are released to others. The attachment – bonding is a form of security and the littlest gestures help release that bond. Heard the myth that those dying, wait for someone, hanging on then once they arrive, they pass?. It’s true for the closing attachment to help us through our days without them. If you take a moment to think about the prior days before, – the real truth of closure not always presented. It might have been days, weeks, but the “good-bye” is there. At some moment, it was different. But it was a blessing, between you and your loved one. An example, if you have routine dinner, that evening you may have spontaneously enjoyed the evening outside. Just talking a week prior, in which those opportunities don’t take place. It may have been a silly gesture your loved one gave before leaving your house one day. If you really let your mind show you the peace offering it will be available.
The day grandma passed was expected but never was I ready for it.. I felt numb and thoughtless – dazed, even knowing happiness and no sickness was her transition to eternal life. The attachment is why we struggle. Loving someone is a painful experience. But as humans, to live for love is our purpose. To have eternal life, love is our purpose. If failing at love is an option, I don’t want any part of it. I am not religious by preaching testimony. I do believe, and I once was afraid to die. I was afraid of leaving this earth. The feeling was like going to the middle of a desert being left alone. Actually I was terrified. I watched death from a different experience and my own eyes. When we are faced with the loss of a loved one, we are crippled. Thinking is difficult and logic is far from reality at the moment. Clear focus is by far to make decisions or choices. Our first reaction is to hide or cover the pain. So actually the real truth is – those true moments are missed. Our minds tell us differently due to the state of mind. Reality is in the moment, as loss of a loved one, takes us out of the moment. Our time is motioned by pain, anger, and disbelief. The acceptance to have to de-attach from a loved ones presence is brutally painful.
The truth is, love others like your life depends on it. Those who leave us are safe, secure, and waiting to see us again. The presence of time does not exist in eternal life. The spirit of our soul is God’s final project..
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 🦋💕
If your child exhibits excessive anxiety, he may have separation anxiety. If you’re worried about his anxiety, you can talk to him about it. Separation anxiety can make toddlerhood a challenging time. It can lead to a variety of problems, including crankiness and irritability. It can also make your child’s “Terrible Twos” stage harder to deal with.
Relationship between dependency-oriented psychological control and child separation anxiety
The relationship between child separation anxiety and mother’s dependency-oriented psychological control has long been debated. However, there is some evidence to suggest that the two are linked. Stone, L.L, et al., investigated these two phenomena in a longitudinal study in children and mothers. The first study evaluated the impact of maternal separation anxiety on children, while the second one did not control for the T1 level of child separation anxiety. The three models were then fit using the Tucker-Lewis index to evaluate the fit of the models.
This study found that both maternal separation anxiety and child separation anxiety were related. In fact, maternal separation anxiety predicted child anxiety symptoms in a sample of 99 children. For 48 11-year-olds, prior maternal worry was associated with separation anxiety. In contrast, the relationship was not found with infant temperament or fearful temperament. This study is still at the preliminary stage, but is an important step toward understanding the association between maternal separation anxiety and child separation anxiety.
There are several potential explanations for the relationship between child separation anxiety and maternal separation anxiety. It is worth pointing out that maternal separation anxiety is not the most significant predictor of child anxiety. However, other factors, including parenting style, may be more relevant.
Treatment of separation anxiety in children
Separation anxiety is a normal developmental phase for children, but some children experience severe symptoms of separation anxiety. This condition can affect a child’s mental health and cause them to avoid social situations. Fortunately, treatment for separation anxiety is possible. Parents can help their child overcome these symptoms by addressing the underlying causes. These can include changes to school procedures and parent communication.
Treatment for separation anxiety often includes psychotherapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). It teaches healthy coping skills to the patient and may include the use of antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications. Research shows that about 36 percent of children with separation anxiety will continue to experience symptoms into adulthood, which makes treatment more complicated.
The best way to help a child cope with separation anxiety is to provide consistent support and encouragement. Start with short separations and gradually increase the time between separations. Also, tell your child exactly when you are leaving and when you will be back. Leaving without saying goodbye can make the anxiety worse.
Separation anxiety in children is often caused by trauma or adverse experiences during childhood. It can affect a child’s ability to form meaningful relationships with other children. They may also struggle in school and at extracurricular activities.
Drug therapy for children with severe anxiety
If you suspect your child may be suffering from severe anxiety, drug therapy can be helpful. It’s recommended for children whose symptoms are not improving with talk therapy or if the symptoms are negatively impacting their eating and sleeping patterns. Benzodiazepines and SSRIs are particularly effective for treating this type of anxiety in children.
Children who suffer from separation anxiety disorder often need psychological treatment in order to cope with the anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy, also known as CBT, teaches children to develop coping mechanisms and learn how to master the situation that causes them anxiety. Antidepressants, or SSRIs, are a common treatment for severe anxiety, and may be combined with therapy. In addition, parents should stay committed to a treatment plan, as consistency makes all the difference.
Drug therapy for children with severe anxiety separation and loved effects on mental health benefits, such as increased mood and lowered blood pressure, can also improve the mental health of children with severe anxiety. It’s important to note that, unlike with other treatments, the effects of drug therapy are minimal, and it is unlikely to have any long-term side effects. Many children with separation anxiety will go on to develop mental illness as adults.
Symptoms of separation anxiety include a lack of interest in activities other children enjoy, refusal to participate in social activities, throwing tantrums, and avoiding appointments. Some children may also experience physical symptoms, such as nausea or vomiting. As a result, these children may not eat, sleep, or go to school. They may also be cut off from their peers and may not speak in public. The effects can be long- term.
Talk to your childrens, they always listen. The mental health concerns can effect adolescents and early adulthood. Resulting in more serious and life altering future illnesses. Early treatment is important for mental health in children or anyone in general. Ask your child questions. Prevent depression or any mental health issues your child may encounter. Take time to listen and promote health relationships while communicating mental health. It takes a few minutes to save a children from long-term effects. Are you talking to your children? They are right there watching and learning from you. So they listen, with open ears and a loving heart
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter. – Della 💞🦋
When you feel like you’re addicted to something, it’s because you are. If you think about it, addiction is just a symptom of a problem. It’s not the problem itself—it’s what happens when you try to solve your problems with drugs or alcohol.
There are no pain killers that ease the pain of death. There is no pain killer in drug or alcohol form that solves any problem. My personal experience raw emotions over time, struggles of addiction and time in jail. Only one pain killer that is legit and real – Deal with it face to face. The truth is not easy, its painful, and a living hell at times. The truth is, it takes a long time to heal, cope, and deal with life events. Those challenges are open wounds. No one will admit to and wants to face – pain. My pain and struggles changed my life – forever.
Time is crucial to grief as I learnt the hard way. In my world, nothing made sense. Why? I couldn’t allow myself to feel raw emotions. Until I was forced to.
To me, I knew the pain would surface. For so long, I thought dodge ball would give me time to adjust. Time had lost its value, the world moved around me. I functioned due to that’s what life teaches us to do. The world doesn’t stop because you lost two loved ones seven weeks apart. The world doesn’t stop for anyone or anything.
Honestly, the days became a blank stare, everything moved as I stood still. My job at the time, was behind a computer. Thinking of the events was not happening while working. I choose to be a picker on a cherry picker. This the physical movement would keep my mind busy. I thought the grief had passed and life went on. Until….
September 11th, 2002. Brother that passed his birthday was Sept. 10th. That morning of the 9-11 year anniversary. In honor the company had moments of silence for both plane attacks. I buckled out of no where.. Functioning didn’t make sense. I hit my knees and fell apart. Crumbled to life raw painful emotions.. Six months after, life stopped. The only thing that matter at the moments was to leave. Walking in to my supervisors office, “I quit”. Out of character, he told me that I was okay. That I had time off work and just do whatever I could. Those words were not okay on my behalf. Once again, “I quit, you have no clue”. The HR lady called my name, and said here’s FLMA papers go to your doctor. They should give you time off work. She walked me to my car and explained the process. I went straight to my doctors office at that time. This doctor had been new and my first time meeting or seeing her. Explaining my situation, asking to help with FMLA. Her choice of words, did not go over well. She thought it was bogus to need time off work. Depression or anxiety, any of that she thought I was fine, just trying to get paid. My tolerance level just ticked. It was not the right time or practice of option, to her observation. I stood up and said, ” I hope you still have your father and your brother”. Quickly her response was ” yes I do”. I said that’s why you have no right to judge me, you have not experienced what I’m going through”. As your tongue was sharp, I hope you think next time before you share your opinion. When you can’t speak without experience just do your job. I got up to exit and my regular doctor was shocked. Leaving the office, I went to a doctor close by my house. I told the office I had just left my family doctors office and the situation. By law your not suppose to do that “doctor shopping”. I had not a care in hell, I needed help now. The doctor I seen was older, experienced, he knew I needed help. He personally made a phone call to the prior doctors office. Mentally I was a mess, yet I thought I was strong enough as time passed. Then falling apart, nothing was real. Emotions were painful, the triggers I was not aware of. The day after my brothers birthday. My mind starting thinking, remembering, wondering, and it happen. The anti-depression and anxiety medication were prescribed.
My days sleeping 15 to 20 hours a day. I must have been overwhelmed with exhaustion. If I woke up to eat or use the bathroom, daylight or night was never acknowledged. To shower was a big functioning task, that didn’t matter. Why should it when I’m just sleeping all the time, right? I became non-existent to the world. My mom would open my bedroom door check in on me. She had tried to make sense of it, her words would stick through my barely open eyes. ” I love you”, I heard many times. But I could barely move or function. Antidepressants became a non-functioning zombie creation, I hated more. My struggles were deep, changing medication made it worse. At some point over a course of 6 months time – my eyes opened more often. Hopeless, helpless, I needed help.. The struggles were daily, hourly, and serious. I suppose I got enough rest, cause I no longer wanted to sleep. Something inside of me was making sense. I rarely continued the medicine. So unconsciously I slowly detoxed from prescription medications. My only option was self-help. I began to write, as I would lay awake in bed thinking. I struggled with why would depression medicine make a person sleep.. ? Actually I started to feel worse taking the medicine. In time I was going back to work, the day was approaching. My mind was all over the place.
Slowly adding to my daily task, writing was priority and waking up was too. I had to face a lot of challenges. I had woken to a pending drug charge that was mine. My charges, my fault, not the addiction, – my problem. Not grieving, not understanding, not knowing, and hiding pain with addiction drugs and alcohol.
Functioning is a real struggle when life keeps moving. – Standing still is tough. But reality being crippled, disabled, mentally stopped in the tracks of life. Numb, thoughtlesss, living in a foggy world that I could only live in. I created this fog because I never learnt to function to death. Death- a zombie trying to drag ass through life. Life that’s so painful – crawling, due to, I been beaten, rolled, tossed, and shattered inside, and out. A hot mess in reality. I stank as a person because I didn’t know my strength. Giving up defeated me. I was all that above and more. Ripped, toren, high, drunk, and a walking mental mess.
Non-existent one where problems now surfaced and facing jail time. I felt invisible to jail, traumatized by life events, there was no excuse. My problems were my responsibility to be human again. Face life as I now had challenges. Obstacles that surely did want to face.
I had to report monthly to my parole officer. I had a great job, I was drug free and I honestly felt great. My goal was to conquer my grief with positive energy. At work, I pushed my limits to excel. But I felt alone. The lonleness created another addiction – sex. The truth is I was going to the gym working out, feeling great, going to the tanning bed, I never felt so amazing with ambition, life made sense. Or did it? My sex addiction was replaced from drug addiction. I made a promise to God to keep me safe and protect me during my journey of exploring sex options.. I refused to be attached to any man. I had lost two of my favorite men in my life. Loving a man was not an option at the time. My plan of action was in form of good habit routine. I was loving yet not lovable to my inner pain. My parole was about done. Drinking started regularly as my sex addiction slowed. My habits were changing as I knew my routine was about to be disrupted. Filling a blank isn’t always easy.
The challenges of living back on track “the good life”, still has negative impacts. After completing parole, I now had a felony charge on my background and record. Career moves and education would be tested. Blessed with a hard work ethic, my felony never gave any problems. In time I had my felony expunged. That wss inner peace of my self. I furthered my education with a Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology in 2010. I was coming alive inside cause I knew how to. Overtime I Iearnt what it takes to overcome. Being defeated is temporary. I felt I wasn’t strong enough to fight, down to being defeated. Wrong was I? I built an empire that I never knew was possible. So much can be done. No that anything is possible with one tool.. The master to life is 🗝️ to the mind, and that’s time. Educating the Mind. Your mind is power. You have the world of endless dreams when you open your mind. Educating the mind to life is a promise to overcome challenges. The best defense is knowing you have the option to learn. My life is far from perfect, knowing life makes sense is what matters. Struggles are life’s tools that give us strength. Love is an opportunity to prove your worth of being human. Love is told to be a beautiful thing. Love is the most painful experience that one must face. Truth be known Death is the love to eternal life. We must feel the worst level of extreme pain. That pain of life is the sacrifice to death. Afterlife of no pain, no sorrow just pure happiness of a world created by our God. My God has shown me life that exist beyond realm. As I have felt and visioned the life through my own eyes.
Life is precious to our eternal days. We will face the good Lord with treasures of our character. If those treasures are damaged at fault of yours, overcoming might be challenging.. Life of misery and hell will be provided, as you create your destiny. Time here on earth is measured by blessing to help one another, and valued human life as you perceive it. Hurting others and offering negative energy maybe your choice to void eternal life that’s promised. Until that judgement day is face to face with death. May you be the best product to life. A product everyone is proud to know and be a part of. If those words bite or sting- you have power of the mind to educate your options to overcome actions and behaviors. You are stronger than you think. As the mind never fails if you apply the time and work. Defeat is not an option to eternal life. Challenges may be mountains but mountains can be climbed. Lace up those boots and motivate the knowledge to be your best self. Life is best when dealt with by learning to overcome with a powerful tool – the mind.
Thank you for your time and for visiting ✔️Mental Mess, Life, and God. 👣 – My Story My Version – 👣
Not everything has an immediate solution. But knowledge can help you through it. Patience and time will guide you if your willing to put in the work.
If you want to stop using, there are a few things you can do:
First, figure out what caused you to start using in the first place. Was it a traumatic experience? Was there someone who told you that using drugs or alcohol was acceptable? Was it peer pressure? Childhood environment? Life has so many hidden stressors that we are blinded by. When we think, we aren’t strong enough? Think about a plan of action to overcome. Keep the plan fresh in mind. Support yourself with enjoyable positivity. Once positivity begins to flow, it becomes a regular flow.
Once you’ve figured this out, make sure that whatever caused your addiction no longer exists for you. If someone tells you that drugs or alcohol will make your life better, try not to believe them. They may have been lead by peer pressure and may have had some sort of experience with drugs or alcohol themselves—but they’re not responsible for your decisions and can’t expect you to make the same choices they did.
The next step is figuring out how much time and money are going towards solving these problems and how many hours of sleep are being lost because of them. Identifying these things will help keep track of solving the problem. Addiction is easy.. Overcoming is a challenge but your mind is powerful to help you through. Don’t give up.. Get up and face to challenge. In time you will gain so much positivity, ambition will guide you with a peace of mind.
Love to hear your experience and rewards of overcoming challenges you experienced. Shared stories can be the best therapy for another who is challenged with life of addiction or events. Feel free to share your experience.
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della 💞🦋
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Everyday Mind's Matter 🎭 
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