Tag Archives: memories

An Old Farmhouse: If Walls Could Talk

An Old Farmhouse

If walls could talk, the walls of a hundred-year-old farmhouse would tell history.. Built in 1923, solid wood, and the finest material money could buy. A farmhouse structured to settle on many acres surrounding to harvest and farm, a farmhouse foundation to riches of life.

My wood has witnessed so much over the years, including the bustle of family gatherings, the hum of conversations, and the laughter of children playing late into the night. I’ve seen birthdays, holidays, and Sunday afternoons. I remember long summer days when the wind rushed in through the open windows, carrying with it the smell of grass and lilac and honeysuckle. I have witnessed years of changes and watched as people moved away and others took their place.

The walls of this old farmhouse have seen much joy and sorrow over the years. For generations, families have come to gather and live, building memories around the fireside, laughter from the long tables, and the warmth of a hearty meal. But behind the walls, in the spaces between, the stories the walls tell can never truly be told. Perhaps in the rooms and hallways, voices are heard and memories fade in and out of existence, echoing throughout the structure. From newlyweds giggling and enjoying the days of love and naivety to families trying to make sense of tragedy, the walls saw and heard it all. As babies were born and a family started, laughter erupted, along with stories and arguments. Evil hands that covered innocent faces. Not every story would be humored or joyful. The walls carry dark troubled times as well.

Within these walls, church was held, class was taught, bank trading, and deals were done. Hard labor was manual and respect was taught. Values had priority in order to learn wisdom. Walls structured for challenges and hope, peace, and love. Weather would test its structure over time. Someone always came along and fixed me up making proper repairs.

On winter nights, cold and snow seeping in through cracks and gaps, the walls became an intimate theatre, displaying deep conversations between people in love, grappling with hope, heartache and deep questions. From the attic to the barn and beyond, if the walls could talk they’d speak of deep connections and loyalty between neighbors, help that came when least expected and giving when it wasn’t asked. These walls saw sleepless nights, painful memories and special occasions all become memories stored away forever, like so much dust and dirt tucked into every nook and cranny of this family home. The walls are strong, but their secrets still linger. Each generation is added to this story, creating new ones to replace the fading ones of years past. Though time passes and generations come and go, these walls are steadfast in their silence. But if they could talk, what stories would they tell?

The farm house had seen its share of joys and sorrows over the years. If the walls could speak, it would tell the story of families living through a devastating harvest failure. Struggling to make ends meet and make their land last. Late nights filled with sorrow and fear of losing their family’s legacy. But in the same breath, the walls would speak of the immense joy and love felt within these four walls. Through times of great celebration, it saw couples get married, grandchildren playing in the living room, and homemade meals enjoyed with family and friends.

Harvest failures, desperate hopes, tears and sweat, and the pain of the family members all weighed heavily on the old house. One could imagine the strained conversations held by the family members over whether or not they would make it through the season. There were surely times of deep sorrow, as members of the family had to let go of beloved parts of the farm as financial struggles worsened. And as the walls held in the past, they witnessed each successive generation gather together, trying their best to keep the old farm alive, their sweat and efforts creating an invisible bond between the generations, uniting them despite the distances of time. If the walls could talk, surely their voices would be those of perseverance and courage, ringing through the halls of the farmhouse and resounding in the memories of its inhabitants.

The stories would speak of hope and dreams, love and loss, faith and doubt. They would bring joy and pain, laughter and tears. For generations, these walls have held a unique place in this family’s lives, providing strength and shelter. Though the stories within may remain forever unheard, they remain held deep within the structure of this old farmhouse.

One hundred years, 2023 my structure has loosened, and the seeking noise of broken shutters, rattle with the wind. The farm has decreased as family sold to develop. New fancy houses are closing in. Those houses are top of the line, here surround, just an old farmhouse.

I am here, silently absorbing it all, like a repository for the collective memories of generations of families. I can only imagine what the walls of this old farmhouse would say if they could talk. Stories of heartache and happiness, successes and failures, hope and despair. And so I plead with you – don’t let development erase my history. Don’t tear me down. Keep me standing, so that I may continue to be part of this incredible journey. Renovate history with a little love and care.

This old farmhouse has so much history to share. If only the walls could talk? Please let this old farm house stand proud just as the history that lives within these walls.

Sadly, in today’s day and age, my structure may not be long for this world. I stand, empty and forlorn, for a development threatens to tear me down and rob my life of its history and memory. Don’t let it be! I am a testament to a life once lived and a living piece of history that shouldn’t be forgotten. Please save me and remember what I stand for.

*this is my original work, posted on vocal. This was written for a contest challenge. And I’m sharing it here on my blog. -Della Lonaker🦋

Letting Go

A Guide to Accepting the Loss of a Loved One

Letting Go
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Losing somebody you love is difficult and can be difficult to cope with. It can be hard to know how to go on, or even what to say to someone who is grieving. You may feel stuck in a rut, or that you are doing everything wrong. Losing a loved one is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. In this post, I will discuss some of the most important aspects of losing a loved one so that you can proceed with your life. You may feel many different emotions, pain, and shed lots of tears. It’s normal to grieve and heal from a loss of a loved one.

1. What do you need to know about grief?

It is hard to accept the loss of a loved one, especially when you are still grieving. It is important to remember that you are not alone in your grief. There are many other people who are grieving the same loss as you. It is also important to remember that grief is a process and that time heals all wounds. It is essential to have someone to help you through the process. You can find a grief counselor to help you through the grieving process. There are also many books that can help you with the grieving process. There are also many other ways to help yourself through the grieving process. You will only know what feels right and what feels uncomfortable. Do not make quick decisions too soon. Your loved ones belongings are in no rush to be bothered with. Making drastic choices or decisions; should be on hold. To get rid of the belongs or let others make decisions for you can be a heavy mistake later. If you feel uncomfortable assistance is available to help with your grievance process. It takes time to heal the loss of loved ones. Some individuals take months and years to begin to feel acceptable to the loss. It’s okay to take your time to process the grief, cry and to feel multiple emotions. You can not rush grievance, only time heals the loss.

Sometimes how we grieve can and will differ from others. If you’re feeling the need to hear your loved ones voice – listen to a saved voicemail, a video from an event. It’s okay to feel these emotions. Missing a loved one can and will create new feelings. These feelings you may have never experienced before. Grief is painful as hell and does not go away over night. Over time we ” get used to the absence”. But it doesn’t necessarily heal the heart. Keeping the memories, pictures, and remembrance close, can give a peace of mind to your life without them. In some cases, some individuals would rather let go. To some letting go -not talk about, see pictures, or live the memories as they are painful. Everyone is different what one person does may not work for you. It’s clearly normal and perfectly okay. In the process, if you feel more out of character reach out for help. If you have children, siblings, or close relatives in the household, keep in mind they are grieving as well.

2. What can you do to help someone who is grieving?

When someone you love dies, it is natural to feel a sense of loss and sadness. This is the time to hold on to the memories and focus on the new memories that will be made in the future. It is important to talk about the loss and the grief with others, as this can often help. Following are some ways you can help someone who is grieving: – Show up to support the person and be there for them – Offer your time and energy – Offer your space – Offer your support – Offer your love – Offer your comfort – Offer your caring. Most of all listen to their needs and choices. They may struggle to make arrangements or ask for help, give your best self, as a friend, supporter, and assistant. They will thank you in time, don’t make a person who’s grieving feel belittled by not saying “thank you” at every moment. Remember that most people grieving are unable to think clearly or focus at situations. Task can be overwhelming, ask if your help is needed with household task or errands. Yet let one have space as well. Some individuals would rather be alone, and that’s okay as well. Our emotions and behavior can be affected drastically. If you feel someone is out of mind or character, try to help them. Grief can cause dangerous behavior or even turning to substance abuse or alcohol. Be cautious of self destruction, not eating, drugs, alcohol or uncommon behavior. Don’t expect big or quick decisions for your grieving loved one. Let them share how they feel and what is needed to handle situations, as they arise. Never demand a grieving person into uncomfortable situations. In time those unsettling, decisions can be more damaging to their well-being. Be kind, respectful, and don’t take their unmindful words to heart. Grief can cause one to lash out and be unpleasant. Yet not meaning it, personally it’s grief emotions that can be harsh. If the lash out or extreme disrespectful words are consistent then other support may be needed. Trying to please a grieving person can be challenging. It can be best for all to walk away if need be. It’s okay, grieving can be difficult to cope with.

3. What should you do to support someone who is grieving?

When someone you care about is grieving, you want to be there for them. It is difficult to watch someone you care about struggle with the loss of a loved one. It is important to put your own feelings aside and support the person grieving. There are a lot of things you can do to help someone grieving. Some of these things include: – Being there for the person – Listening to the person – Helping the person find resources – Helping the person to find solace – Helping the person find a way to feel good again – Helping the person find a way to heal. – Let the person grieve as what works for them – Offer to bring food or join them for dinner. Sadly during grievance we fail to eat. It’s important to look for unhealthy habit as well. Over eating, alcohol abuse, or even drugs should be avoided. The pain is real and we all want to hide from pain. It hurts like hell but the grieving process will get better in time. We can only do so much for one who is grieving. Remember you are trying to help. Don’t take charge of situations without entitlement. More conflict can occur and situations can be hard to settle. Ask questions to help your loved one understand what is needed from them. Let them address their concerns as they may have a good reason to feel a certain way.. The loss can be devastating for many and in some cases some never get over a loss.

There are various ways to cope with the loss of a loved one. This post also suggests that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it is important to find a way that works for you. Time heals the loss of a loved one. Don’t feel rushed because there is no time limit. Just know that it may take months or years to heal. In time you can feel normal again, if you feel you can’t manage to cope, speak to a medical advisor. Assistance is there at all times or hours of the day. Take care of yourself, the struggle can impact your well being.

Overall it’s important to understand the grieving process. Grieving is mourning the loss of your loved one, crying, sharing, memories, celebrating the life of your loved one. Releasing the emotional ups and downs of pain and love is healing. Time will get us through, it’s up to us to understand… Nothing about grief can be rushed, healing can only be done with time. Take your time and take care of yourself.

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋

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The Art of Gathering

Times and Gathering

Oh, how the times of gatherings have lost the shine. Interactions and communication are fundamental values to our well-being. The laughter, tears, sorrows, and happiness that others give us in this lifetime. Simple moments that fill our lives with a sense of purpose. Those moments that take place when we gather. During holidays, birthdays, important milestones in our lives. Why gatherings are important and why gatherings help maintain mental health. If you’re wondering where people are gathered today – well the importance of the “Art of Gatherings” is for you.

* Gatherings I can remember as a child family gatherings included large groups of people. Family that included long friends of the family and many more. Gatherings of lots of drinking, grilling out, kids running in the yard, playing horseshoes, volleyball, badminton, belly hurting laughter, and just good times. Those memories create my foundation to my own character. We learn from our childhood how we treat and respect others. The Art of Gatherings are important elements that give opportunity for memories. As a child I had uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins, nephews, nieces that I grew up with. Those are family members that help shape who I am and have become.

* Time Changes with Age Time changes those gatherings overtime. The gatherings get smaller as loved ones age and leave this earth. We don’t notice until those gatherings are memories of those that once attended aren’t there. An empty chair at the dinner table. Those faces are with their children and grandchildren. Or maybe they have passed on. Our group has branched off to subdivide into other group gatherings. It’s not personal or your fault, life is what happened. Do they get busy with life and fail to attend gatherings? Or do they have larger functions and gatherings elsewhere? Do people still gather? Has the loss of loved ones put a toll on your Art of Gatherings?

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* Picture of Who? The old black and dark colored photos in old albums your parents or grandparents kept. Albums that pictures are falling out of. Old albums that have such high value. One thing we can’t ever replace -photos. If found please keep and protect. Who has photo albums in 2022? Who has a physical camera that takes photos? Has gatherings changed the way we create photo albums? Photo albums are antique, physical pictures are precious diamonds. Who looks at old faded books or albums of photos, these days? Honestly, I do. Those photos are one of two things that live on after we expire. Photos are forever if properly stored and valued. (The other thing that continues after we expire is your signature).

Photo albums for 2022 are cell phones. Everyone has one and those photos should be available to show off daily. But do you glance at those photos after they are saved to your phone? Friends those phones will not hold the value to a photo album. Most of us can say, dang I had 1200 photos on my old phone. Impressive, right? Then the phone broke and those photos are gone. There is no replacement for those moments. That image is stored in memory of our mind. Sadly, we can describe a perfect moment, but our minds can’t print that picture in time.

The Art of Gatherings have a purpose for memories and photos. Take time to use a camera and create a family photo album. An album you created today, is worth a million words to those who inherit the photo album. Do yourself a favor if anything else. Take time to teach your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, neighboring children – The Art of Gatherings. Educate our future generation the value of appreciation of gatherings memories, and photo albums. The creation of a scrapbook or a family photo album teaches the value and appreciation to life. Mentally, emotionally, and physically form an attachment to memories and gatherings. The lost art of love can be reborn. Love is created by us who spread the word. Don’t continue to let technology form our future children’s beliefs. Gatherings is in person with photos to place in a photo album. Not the space and time spent on the web/internet that fills illusions of life.

In the final thoughts, The Art of Gatherings, help us deal with challenges. Challenges offer the opportunity to be “live in person”. Where feelings are felt, the good, bad, ugly raw emotions that create us. Feelings that teach us sadness, respect, happiness, love, anger, pain, and the value of an Art of Gatherings. Today is an opportunity to teach a lost value, that can live on longer after you expire. Are you teaching today? Tomorrow? Or sometime soon? I know you have amazing teaching skills. You lived life in the Art of Gatherings. You are a piece of Art that is forever through photos and your signature. Share your teaching skills, everyone’s teachable.

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋