Tag Archives: Life

My Story My Version: The Ride, the Drive, and in Park.

Oh the ride through life. . . And my fortune cookie (3/16/2023) reads:

🦋🍀💞💖 (This should always be your mindset- overcome the battle win in life, being your best inspiration to others). In the positive way, overcome negative energy, with a smile, walk away and come back, in your positive resolve to win). Positive feels amazing). .🍀💞💖🦋

This is true to my character. As in My Story My Version: The Ride, the Drive, and in Park, this is my viewpoint to the world (Life) we use as our roadmap, (gps if you will.)..

The Ride

The Ride, sit in the passenger seat and as you ride through life, taking in the scenery. We are collecting all the information along the way. It’s peaceful and educational, it’s the beating and the praise that life offers us. For learning, experience, and the knowledge that makes us fail or successful. Sometimes the ride isn’t enough, so we must push for a driver to teach, guide and help us gain insight. It’s a privilege to ride, it’s a honor to ride, but our driver must influence life skills to help us not hurt us. Meaning reach good intentions and steer us from bad habits/tendencies. (You get it!) We gathering tools to make good life decisions, we explore and experience the pain, tears, and bruttle truth. We share love, joy, happiness, and compassion. The experience that guides us in life, emotional, mental, and physical awareness tools. Without these experiences we are limited to our personal growth. Development to be your best self is incomplete. Our developmental growth should never stop unless medically determined. Knowledge is a continual need to live. Just as we need water to live, something’s we can not live without.. I know everyday I’m searching for knowledge (our personal storage of wisdom) 😁 to breath and live life. The Ride is our blessing to be understanding, knowledgeable, and awareness of being good people by nature. Take in the scenery, learn and educate yourself every chance you get. It’s best if practiced daily💞 make it routine, it increases your value to life. 🦋

The Drive

The Drive is the tools applied to our life. What we are doing? Where we are going? How we are doing? And Why we are doing? It’s the purpose of who we are. The tools are used to get us through this roadmap of life. And hopefully the gps takes us to paradise one day. The fact is your belief on your terms. Mine is the Road to paradise to meet my God and praise the glory of his eternal life he has made for me or (us). Our drive is the motivation that determines our abilities to live life to it’s full potential. Be kind, be helpful, be creative, be dedicated, be honest, be hard-working, be the best you can be here on earth. What you didn’t accomplish today, tomorrow will determine your eligibility to continue your ride, drive, and park. It’s not promised, but your legacy is being documented. Your drive is here for others to remember, leave your mark with positive writing, energy, and time. Remember we are crowded here on earth, our legacy can be replaced very quickly. Think about that? Kind of a scary thought, that I did nothing with my time on earth. “Forgotten is invisible to the world” – I believe I matter more than those words. I want to help others see and be the happiness that our God foresee’s. In hopes that happiness is within my soul, shit, pain is the least need or want in my path. If all possible I will detour the road with positive energy embracing the experiences as needed to grow and learn. To enable and produce negative in my life is blocked for construction if all possible. To avoid negative, a road closure will help me fix the problem with understanding and knowledge so the road can reopen with a positive outcome. Don’t you believe you have value to life here on earth? You matter, your time is important. Fix the negative with positive energy. One thing I use as needed, when a negative energy is presented. Example: a negative person, to use kindness is a reflection of my character. If someone feels a certain negative way, that’s their inner character. To embrace positive is not in their ride, the scenery has influenced that ride. I can’t ride with them. But at the moment I can drive the positive to them. If they catch that knowledge with the experience. Then the ride can change the scenery. And hopefully when in park, the influence changed the ride. It’s the ride you choose. I can offer the ride and the park to educate your drive. But I can’t drive that route of negative. Sorry, my road trip has a detour for that ride. Just think about your road trip, it’s your choice to influence the trip. Are you gassing up for a remarkable drive to leave a positive impression..? I know, I’m trying my best 😁🦋

In Park

And finally in Park. . . We are at our thinking and our reflection in our minds and body. Actions, behavior, words, awareness, understanding and mindset We reflect how we are presented. How was your day? Was it a lazy day? That’s okay! In Park is the position in life that reflects our needs, desires, and drive. Thoughts push us in time to drive our purpose. Was it a busy productive day? The physical beating on your body but the feeling of accomplishment? How impressive, great job! No matter what your day presented, your reflection is a stepping stone. A stepping stone that represents you. What your drive determines is what, where, how, and why are life’s drive of understanding, knowledge and purpose. In park is the time to see, feel, and express cultivate your inner drive. You are checking the maintenance of your mind, body, and soul purpose. The- What’s next? What can I do to make my life positive, more for filling to my own being?

What is true happiness? All those questions are answered in Park. Our true being is found, determined, and that is Life’s happiness. Happiness is an awesome feeling. Happiness is healthy. Happiness and Love is the ride, drive and in park – purpose to Life and guide/direction to paradise. Love and let Love!!

As I have share the meaning of human life – purpose. The Ride, Drive and in Park, we can take one promise away from this blog post. A promise of learning, learning to be your best person. First for yourself to be happy- and we all know happiness feels wonderful. Second, is for others, inspire and influence positive energy. If your unsure where to start, I have a blog post for that.. ( will update soon with a link to help improve positive energy). But let me warn you it’s contagious😁 and final… .. 🍀💖

Finally, you don’t have to impress anyone. The trip is yours to enjoy and be blessed. You have to impress your final appraiser. And that judgement day is your will. Your belief and your final destination. Now, with that being said, like I said before, if paradise is my final destination – I’m going to enjoy this road trip with positive energy in hopes to have a big smile on my face when I reach – PARADISE🍀💖🦋

Life is full of the good, bad and ugly. As I know we all had the blessings of love,peace, and happiness- those negative influences have put us through “HELL”! 🍀The battle may be fierce but so is your resolve to win.🍀 My battle has made me stronger, wiser, and aware of who I am. With that being said, I worked to damn hard to go to “Hell” and burn all my valuable work! 💞💖 So I be damned, if I’m giving in to give my hard work, determination, and happiness to the Devil. Not today, Satan👹 – Resolve to win 💕💖🦋

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Much love and many blessings. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

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“If walls could talk”, the walls of a hundred-year-old farmhouse would tell history.. Built in 1923, solid wood, and the finest material money could buy. A farmhouse structured to settle on many acres surrounding to harvest and farm, a farmhouse foundation to riches of life.

My wood has witnessed so much over the years, including the bustle of family gatherings, the hum of conversations, and the laughter of children playing late into the night. I’ve seen birthdays, holidays, and Sunday afternoons. I remember long summer days when the wind rushed in through the open windows, carrying with it the smell of grass and lilac and honeysuckle. I have witnessed years of changes and watched as people moved away and others took their place.

The walls of this old farmhouse have seen much joy and sorrow over the years. For generations, families have come to gather and live, building memories around the fireside, laughter from the long tables, and the warmth of a hearty meal. But behind the walls, in the spaces between, the stories the walls tell can never truly be told. Perhaps in the rooms and hallways, voices are heard and memories fade in and out of existence, echoing throughout the structure. From newlyweds giggling and enjoying the days of love and naivety to families trying to make sense of tragedy, the walls saw and heard it all. As babies were born and a family started, laughter erupted, along with stories and arguments. Evil hands that covered innocent faces. Not every story would be humored or joyful. The walls carry dark troubled times as well.

Within these walls, church was held, class was taught, bank trading, and deals were done. Hard labor was manual and respect was taught. Values had priority in order to learn wisdom. Walls structured for challenges and hope, peace, and love. Weather would test its structure over time. Someone always came along and fixed me up making proper repairs.

On winter nights, cold and snow seeping in through cracks and gaps, the walls became an intimate theatre, displaying deep conversations between people in love, grappling with hope, heartache and deep questions. From the attic to the barn and beyond, if the walls could talk they’d speak of deep connections and loyalty between neighbors, help that came when least expected and giving when it wasn’t asked. These walls saw sleepless nights, painful memories and special occasions all become memories stored away forever, like so much dust and dirt tucked into every nook and cranny of this family home. The walls are strong, but their secrets still linger. Each generation is added to this story, creating new ones to replace the fading ones of years past. Though time passes and generations come and go, these walls are steadfast in their silence. But if they could talk, what stories would they tell?

The farm house had seen its share of joys and sorrows over the years. If the walls could speak, it would tell the story of families living through a devastating harvest failure. Struggling to make ends meet and make their land last. Late nights filled with sorrow and fear of losing their family’s legacy. But in the same breath, the walls would speak of the immense joy and love felt within these four walls. Through times of great celebration, it saw couples get married, grandchildren playing in the living room, and homemade meals enjoyed with family and friends.

Harvest failures, desperate hopes, tears and sweat, and the pain of the family members all weighed heavily on the old house. One could imagine the strained conversations held by the family members over whether or not they would make it through the season. There were surely times of deep sorrow, as members of the family had to let go of beloved parts of the farm as financial struggles worsened. And as the walls held in the past, they witnessed each successive generation gather together, trying their best to keep the old farm alive, their sweat and efforts creating an invisible bond between the generations, uniting them despite the distances of time. If the walls could talk, surely their voices would be those of perseverance and courage, ringing through the halls of the farmhouse and resounding in the memories of its inhabitants.

The stories would speak of hope and dreams, love and loss, faith and doubt. They would bring joy and pain, laughter and tears. For generations, these walls have held a unique place in this family’s lives, providing strength and shelter. Though the stories within may remain forever unheard, they remain held deep within the structure of this old farmhouse.

One hundred years, 2023 my structure has loosened, and the seeking noise of broken shutters, rattle with the wind. The farm has decreased as family sold to develop. New fancy houses are closing in. Those houses are top of the line, here surround, just an old farmhouse.

I am here, silently absorbing it all, like a repository for the collective memories of generations of families. I can only imagine what the walls of this old farmhouse would say if they could talk. Stories of heartache and happiness, successes and failures, hope and despair. And so I plead with you – don’t let development erase my history. Don’t tear me down. Keep me standing, so that I may continue to be part of this incredible journey. Renovate history with a little love and care.

This old farmhouse has so much history to share. If only the walls could talk? Please let this old farm house stand proud just as the history that lives within these walls.

Sadly, in today’s day and age, my structure may not be long for this world. I stand, empty and forlorn, for a development threatens to tear me down and rob my life of its history and memory. Don’t let it be! I am a testament to a life once lived and a living piece of history that shouldn’t be forgotten. Please save me and remember what I stand for.

Until our minds meet again be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

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Just A Story to Tell

“Just a story to tell”

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

The world was spinning, day in and day out, with endless tasks and endless responsibilities. Everything seemed so meaningless, so fleeting. In a society plagued with economic decline and suffocating debt, where nothing was as it should be, life was a challenge. Everywhere you looked, there was pressure and expectation. Jobs that didn’t provide enough, costs that kept growing and time slipping away, creating a constant, stressful atmosphere. People had to adapt, learn new skills and try to create something of their own to make it through. I was one of those people. Feeling weighed down by all that life was throwing at me, I searched for something meaningful and stable.

I decided to go back to something that had been in my heart since I was a child: writing. I decided to focus on writing/ storytelling. My goal was to express stories of joy and hope, as well as sorrow and fear. By using my words to transport people to a different world, even if just for a moment, I wanted to remind them that there was always a chance for a better tomorrow. My writing was far from perfect, but with practice I was slowly becoming a better writer/storyteller. Soon, I was creating content for and reaching an ever-widening audience. The monetary rewards are unavailable, was always great, but the greater reward was the joy and contentment of doing something that I truly loved. Today, I am still a storyteller, creating stories that bring joy, laughter and knowledge to people in a world filled with fear and doubt. As my words reach more and more people, I know that I am making a difference in their lives and giving them hope in a chaotic and troubled world.

Playground
Playground
Photo by Todd Trapani on Pexels.com

Once upon a time, in a small playground nestled in a rural corner of the world, the life of the children who used to gather there was far different than it is today. Long ago, there was little thought of economic or financial woes, or of where their future may lie. The days were filled with carefree play and youthful laughter as children tested their physical and mental boundaries on the equipment, finding solace in being able to freely express themselves in a safe, happy environment. But, with the onset of a global financial crisis and growing levels of inflation, the playground and its children have had to make a significant adjustment in the way they approach life. Where once the days were spent creating forts and towers, playing hide and seek and games of tag, the kids must now spend their free time gathering and growing their own food, scavenging for materials to barter, and devising strategies to make a living from their available resources. Gone are the days of simplistic enjoyment of one another’s company. For many of the kids at the playground, a job is the only viable way of providing for themselves and their families. There is little room for failure in the face of increasing hardship and mounting debt.

But amongst the change and upheaval of their current life, the playground kids have still managed to find time for self-expression. The vibrant colors of the play structures have been painted with poetry and images of hope, while some have taken up the art of story telling to capture their collective experience of the ever-evolving world around them. In a world where nothing is certain, one thing remains the same: the kids of the playground still keep hold of the powerful spirit of camaraderie and ingenuity, which ensures that even when the landscape of their life has changed, their stories of survival still remain.

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Until our beautiful minds meet again be safe out there. Many blessings and much love.. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

Learn, Life and Love

What have you learned in your life about love?

I believe before one can love, they must understand the value of learning, quality of life, and know what love is.

(1)- (An ability to Learn) Learning is an emotional tag, that allows the brain to understand and process information. One must acknowledge and comprehend hard work. How to: problem solve, have compassion, listen, and value human nature. Educate the mind regularly to face and overcome life challenges.

(2)- (Life skills) To experience life’s challenges and have life skills is part of managing self concepts. Understand the quality of life and those around you. Life skills offer dedication, motivation, and purpose to one’s life. Emotional intelligence, support, psychological and interpersonal abilities.

(3)- (Love) Self-concept to understand yourself and acknowledge what love is. Self respect, value, appreciation, help others, kindness, happiness.

I’ve learned that love requires a lot of work and effort from both parties in order to succeed. It’s important to remember that even though love is hard, it is also one of the most rewarding things in life and worth fighting for. Ultimately, love should be based on mutual understanding, respect, and compassion.

To love unconditionally, a person has to learn by experiencing the nurturing, bonding, trust, compassion, and empathy. Love is an action that’s formed by intimate emotional bonding. Love is not just a feeling; it’s an emotional bond that grows and deepens through shared vulnerability and support. It doesn’t just happen on its own – we have to nurture it and build it over time with intentional actions. When we put effort into creating loving relationships, they can become more intimate, secure, and fulfilling over time. It takes time to love and be committed to love.

Most importantly, love can take years to love unconditionally. And just seconds to destroy. Once love is shattered, no amount of work can restore it. Be careful of your words, your actions, and behavior as it can affect physical, mental and emotional health.

Love is something so powerful and indescribable that we may often mistakenly think of it as a feeling. While feelings certainly play a role, love is ultimately about the intimate bond that two people build together through mutual vulnerability and support. Rather than just expecting to feel love, we must work to build it by taking actions that show how much we care for our partner. We can show our commitment to the relationship in ways such as being supportive, honest, attentive, and kind. Over time, these small gestures will become habitual and create an unbreakable bond between two people that cannot be expressed with words. This bond is what true love really is– an emotional connection that has been formed over time through meaningful actions of kindness and support. Love isn’t something you can expect to happen overnight; rather, it’s something you must nurture with patience and care if you want it to last forever.

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

Where Every thought is processed

EVERYDAY MINDS MATTER

Personal Quotes By – Della

“Fear triggers Wisdom, connecting knowledge to life” – Della Lonaker🦋

“Without experience, Life shows no Emotion”. – Della Lonaker 🦋

“Life has a way to bruise us up, those scars are being barefooted along the way” – Della L.🦋

“Love is hard, Love is deep, Love is universal- hot glue; without it we crumble”. – Della L.🦋

“Fly once – enjoy the view, Fly twice you repeat the ride, and third time you’re ready for a new route. To Fly one must have different scenery to live Life”. -Della L🦋

“To cry is cleansing the soul, to hold back tears, – backing up emotions, don’t spoil a good heart.”. -Della L.🦋

“If you run fast enough, you miss the most important part – stop and pace yourself – not everyone gets to run again tomorrow “. – Della L.🦋

“Life has two features play or stop – pause and rewind are not options.” – Della L. 🦋

“Play fair and carefully, Life’s sudden twisted changes, determines who comes out to play tomorrow”. -Della L. 🦋

“The mind is like a butterfly, wondering from flower to flower. A gust of wind can change direction, as a damaged wing, can delay the journey. And the power of the mind can speed up recovery.”. – Della L🦋

🪟 Open to the Public

How we present ourselves to the world

Everyday – is an opportunity

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

Open to the public, reflects how we present ourselves to the world. Just as no business is open til the lights are on, doors unlocked & first customer comes in.  Its the first welcome of attitude, Just like waking up in the morning. 

Positive gratitude influences what mood starts the day. What will the day become? How many encounters will you have? Will you have new customers or new business opportunities?  Everyday is a new beginning no matter what yesterday offered. Time changes with no regret. Why not build new ideas, give advice or be productive in advance? A simple change in how you present the day, changes the outlook and outcome.

Until the door unlocks and opens, the mind predicts what the future awaits. What mood is the door that let’s the type of energy come through for the day. I give my all to promote a smile everyday. As a conversationist, happiness is always welcome and presented. Don’t be fooled, as I don’t have such good days from time to time. Where I am quiet and conservative, and reserved, like downtime. As I am taking in the world around me. Some days are just a struggle. No matter what that pushing yourself to motivate can’t be tough. It’s up to you to change the day, mood, or challenge. It is the power of your mind that jump starts the moment.

Open to the public is a perception to think outside the box. We are a business regardless of having a business license. We sell ourselves to the world. Everything we do in life is communication, contact, and interaction with others. A good business promoter knows how to interact, influence, and attract opportunities for success. Attitude is of great value in life. As a person if you want 😊 happiness; promote it, it will come in return.

Our minds can pull energy in to help provide our needs and desires. Allowing our mind and body to connect and align is important. Thinking of great ideas is important, but leaving them as thoughts are wasteful. Take the courage to try new opportunities of your own chance. You might be surprised if you created a great opportunity. Nothing is easy, everything worth it, takes time, most of all dedication, and a lot of hard work.

If you want nothing, do nothing, and get nothing. It’s that simple. If life has no purpose then nothing will seem important. Those are thoughts that need encouragement and new thinking to create positivity in the day. A new way of life to feel productive, worthy, and inspired. So when your day is satisfying, it does give comfort in how well you sleep.

At the end of the day, what you put into your day is what matters. That will also determine how welll you sleep. If your day is very fulfilling with physical activity- sleep should fall in routine. If your mind is overworked your physical and mental alignment may suffer. Leaving nights of toss and turning to sleep. Finding that right pattern and balance may take time. In the long run taking time to find that balance is important to your health. Sleep plays a huge role in our everyday lives. Being able to concentrate, focus, solve problems, intellect functions, and being present. When we are open to the public we should be ready. Ready to inspire the world as who we are.

Being you in your own way is important. Your presentation is what people value. If a poor presentation is visible then that quality is left to your viewers. Not everyday will be perfect or as good, but your smile and contact can be noticed. The timing of your presentation can take place anytime of day. It’s important to be ready.

Ready to help, support, influence, and be valuable. If we are to love, to receive love, we must promote it. If you watch and listen that will reflect back with love. The energy of positivity feels amazing. The feet have a nice comfort as you continue the day. Your posture is aligned with the inner feeling of positive energy. You are now open to the public with a reliable presentation. This presentation you created is because of your time, dedication, and hard work.

Are you open to the public? Are you under construction, fixing the presentation for public viewing? You are the future no matter if you’re 12, 31, 54, or 80 years old, your presentation is forever. Be the blessing to someone else. Be contagious, with a positive energy, that everyone wants to experience. I know life can throw rocks, but if we smile and love life. Those rocks can soften to a lighter hit. It’s just a cycle of energy that we create and put out. What’s returned is the energy left behind. Influence, promote, and inspire positivity and the attractive energy is an everyday blessing. 🦋

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

Letting Go

A Guide to Accepting the Loss of a Loved One

Letting Go
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Losing somebody you love is difficult and can be difficult to cope with. It can be hard to know how to go on, or even what to say to someone who is grieving. You may feel stuck in a rut, or that you are doing everything wrong. Losing a loved one is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. In this post, I will discuss some of the most important aspects of losing a loved one so that you can proceed with your life. You may feel many different emotions, pain, and shed lots of tears. It’s normal to grieve and heal from a loss of a loved one.

1. What do you need to know about grief?

It is hard to accept the loss of a loved one, especially when you are still grieving. It is important to remember that you are not alone in your grief. There are many other people who are grieving the same loss as you. It is also important to remember that grief is a process and that time heals all wounds. It is essential to have someone to help you through the process. You can find a grief counselor to help you through the grieving process. There are also many books that can help you with the grieving process. There are also many other ways to help yourself through the grieving process. You will only know what feels right and what feels uncomfortable. Do not make quick decisions too soon. Your loved ones belongings are in no rush to be bothered with. Making drastic choices or decisions; should be on hold. To get rid of the belongs or let others make decisions for you can be a heavy mistake later. If you feel uncomfortable assistance is available to help with your grievance process. It takes time to heal the loss of loved ones. Some individuals take months and years to begin to feel acceptable to the loss. It’s okay to take your time to process the grief, cry and to feel multiple emotions. You can not rush grievance, only time heals the loss.

Sometimes how we grieve can and will differ from others. If you’re feeling the need to hear your loved ones voice – listen to a saved voicemail, a video from an event. It’s okay to feel these emotions. Missing a loved one can and will create new feelings. These feelings you may have never experienced before. Grief is painful as hell and does not go away over night. Over time we ” get used to the absence”. But it doesn’t necessarily heal the heart. Keeping the memories, pictures, and remembrance close, can give a peace of mind to your life without them. In some cases, some individuals would rather let go. To some letting go -not talk about, see pictures, or live the memories as they are painful. Everyone is different what one person does may not work for you. It’s clearly normal and perfectly okay. In the process, if you feel more out of character reach out for help. If you have children, siblings, or close relatives in the household, keep in mind they are grieving as well.

2. What can you do to help someone who is grieving?

When someone you love dies, it is natural to feel a sense of loss and sadness. This is the time to hold on to the memories and focus on the new memories that will be made in the future. It is important to talk about the loss and the grief with others, as this can often help. Following are some ways you can help someone who is grieving: – Show up to support the person and be there for them – Offer your time and energy – Offer your space – Offer your support – Offer your love – Offer your comfort – Offer your caring. Most of all listen to their needs and choices. They may struggle to make arrangements or ask for help, give your best self, as a friend, supporter, and assistant. They will thank you in time, don’t make a person who’s grieving feel belittled by not saying “thank you” at every moment. Remember that most people grieving are unable to think clearly or focus at situations. Task can be overwhelming, ask if your help is needed with household task or errands. Yet let one have space as well. Some individuals would rather be alone, and that’s okay as well. Our emotions and behavior can be affected drastically. If you feel someone is out of mind or character, try to help them. Grief can cause dangerous behavior or even turning to substance abuse or alcohol. Be cautious of self destruction, not eating, drugs, alcohol or uncommon behavior. Don’t expect big or quick decisions for your grieving loved one. Let them share how they feel and what is needed to handle situations, as they arise. Never demand a grieving person into uncomfortable situations. In time those unsettling, decisions can be more damaging to their well-being. Be kind, respectful, and don’t take their unmindful words to heart. Grief can cause one to lash out and be unpleasant. Yet not meaning it, personally it’s grief emotions that can be harsh. If the lash out or extreme disrespectful words are consistent then other support may be needed. Trying to please a grieving person can be challenging. It can be best for all to walk away if need be. It’s okay, grieving can be difficult to cope with.

3. What should you do to support someone who is grieving?

When someone you care about is grieving, you want to be there for them. It is difficult to watch someone you care about struggle with the loss of a loved one. It is important to put your own feelings aside and support the person grieving. There are a lot of things you can do to help someone grieving. Some of these things include: – Being there for the person – Listening to the person – Helping the person find resources – Helping the person to find solace – Helping the person find a way to feel good again – Helping the person find a way to heal. – Let the person grieve as what works for them – Offer to bring food or join them for dinner. Sadly during grievance we fail to eat. It’s important to look for unhealthy habit as well. Over eating, alcohol abuse, or even drugs should be avoided. The pain is real and we all want to hide from pain. It hurts like hell but the grieving process will get better in time. We can only do so much for one who is grieving. Remember you are trying to help. Don’t take charge of situations without entitlement. More conflict can occur and situations can be hard to settle. Ask questions to help your loved one understand what is needed from them. Let them address their concerns as they may have a good reason to feel a certain way.. The loss can be devastating for many and in some cases some never get over a loss.

There are various ways to cope with the loss of a loved one. This post also suggests that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it is important to find a way that works for you. Time heals the loss of a loved one. Don’t feel rushed because there is no time limit. Just know that it may take months or years to heal. In time you can feel normal again, if you feel you can’t manage to cope, speak to a medical advisor. Assistance is there at all times or hours of the day. Take care of yourself, the struggle can impact your well being.

Overall it’s important to understand the grieving process. Grieving is mourning the loss of your loved one, crying, sharing, memories, celebrating the life of your loved one. Releasing the emotional ups and downs of pain and love is healing. Time will get us through, it’s up to us to understand… Nothing about grief can be rushed, healing can only be done with time. Take your time and take care of yourself.

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋

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The Perspective: How Psychology Affects Every Aspect of Your Life

Power of the Mind

You probably spend a lot of time thinking about the things that make you – you. You might be interested in knowing how your personality affects your work, relationships and hobbies. But how much do you know about how psychology affects every other part of your life? Psychology is a fascinating subject if you take some time to explore it further. It can also be an incredibly useful one, helping us to understand ourselves and others better so we can lead happier, healthier lives. There are many different areas of psychology that can help you gain new insights into yourself and the people around you. Some famous psychologists have even had a tremendous impact on society as a whole, such as Sigmund Freud, who originated the psychoanalytic theory within psychoanalysis, or Jean Piaget, who pioneered the study of cognitive development in children. When reading this about how psychology affects every aspect of your life, keep in mind that there are many more sub-specialties listed here. This list is intended as a general overview that can give you insight into what these fields involve and whether they might be something you’d like to learn more about.

*The Psychology of Everyday Life
Some aspects of everyday life have been studied by psychologists for decades. Some of these areas might seem unrelated to psychology at first glance, but they can actually give us a lot of insight into what makes us tick. Psychologists have studied the subconscious mind and its effect on everyday life for years. This is one way that psychology can affect everyday life that most people don’t realize is a part of the subject. The subconscious mind is the part of the mind that operates below the level of our consciousness. It is responsible for many of our automatic actions and decisions, such as how we drive a car or how we feel about a certain topic. A lot of research has been done into how the subconscious mind affects our lives. Some common findings include:*The Psychology of Everyday Life
Some aspects of everyday life have been studied by psychologists for decades. Some of these areas might seem unrelated to psychology at first glance, but they can actually give us a lot of insight into what makes us tick. Psychologists have studied the subconscious mind and its effect on everyday life for years. This is one way that psychology can affect everyday life that most people don’t realize is a part of the subject. The subconscious mind is the part of the mind that operates below the level of our consciousness. It is responsible for many of our automatic actions and decisions, such as how we drive a car or how we feel about a certain topic. A lot of research has been done into how the subconscious mind affects our lives. Some common findings include:

* How Psychology Affects Relationships
As with many other aspects of life, relationships are heavily influenced by our personalities and our subconscious minds. Psychologists have found that many relationship issues can be traced back to the participants’ different communication styles. There are various types of communication styles, and each of these is related to a certain personality type. You can take a quiz to find out your communication style and your partner’s communication style, so you can improve communication in your relationship. Psychologists have also found that certain mental illnesses can have a negative impact on relationships. Some of these illnesses include anxiety, borderline personality disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and schizophrenia.

*How Psychology Can Help You At Work
Do you ever wonder how some people seem to excel at their jobs while others struggle? Part of the difference might be explained by personality traits and how they affect how people perform at work. Some personality traits are linked to better job performance, while others are associated with poorer performance. For example, people who are more conscientious tend to excel at work. They tend to be more thorough and careful, which are both important qualities in any job. A person who is more extraverted might excel at public speaking, but might get overwhelmed and freeze up if asked to give a presentation to a small group. We all have our own way of interacting with others. Learning about yourself will improve your ability to relate and interact with others. Overall communication to express oneself is important, how perspective to understand thinking of others falls in place. To avoid misunderstanding, how the thought process relates in life.

* The Influence of Cognitive Psychology
Cognitive psychology is the study of how people think. You may be surprised to learn that much of our thinking happens below the level of our consciousness, and much of it is irrational! Cognitive psychologists have found that people’s memories are not perfect records of events, but instead they are more like creative reconstructions of the past. They’ve also discovered that people often don’t make decisions based on logic, but instead base their choices on emotion, such as a desire for pleasure or a fear of loss. Cognitive psychology has also revealed that people regularly use mental shortcuts, or heuristics, when thinking. A heuristic is a rule-of-thumb or quick-and-dirty mental shortcut that gets us to our destination quickly and efficiently, but often with less accuracy than a more rigorous approach.

* The Importance of Developmental Psychology

Developmental psychology is the study of how people change over time. It can tell us what factors influence our development, and it can help us understand which phases of life are most important for certain aspects of our growth. Developmental psychology can help us understand what stage of life is best for marriage, raising children, choosing a career, and more. For example, the stages of development that are most important to success in a career are early childhood, early adulthood, and mid-adulthood. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful in your career if you haven’t reached these stages yet. It just means that the earlier you get started on a career path, the better your chances are of being successful in that career when you’re an adult.
The way that psychology affects everyday life is far-reaching, and the areas of psychology listed above are just a few examples. Psychology is a fascinating subject that can help you understand yourself and the people around you better. If you’re interested in learning more about how psychology can affect every aspect of your life, psychology has a large variety of studies to explore.

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

How to Cope With Life’s Stressors and Be Honest

It’s no secret that life can be stressful. Whether it’s juggling a busy work schedule, caring for a family or managing finances, we all have our share of stressors. But what do you do when those stressors start to take a toll on your mental and physical health?

In thought

In this blog post, we’ll explore how to cope with lifes stressors and be honest with ourselves. We’ll look at how to identify our stressors, develop coping strategies and stay true to our needs. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, read on for some helpful tips.

Identify your stressors.

Make a list of your stressors

Making a list of your stressors is the first step in identifying them. This can be done by brainstorming or keeping a journal of things that cause you stress. Once you have a list, you can start to look for patterns and identify which stressors are within your control and which are out of your control.

Determine which stressors are within your control

Some stressors will be within your control, such as deadlines at work or personal relationships. Other stressors, like the weather or traffic, will be out of your control. Identifying which stressors are within your control can help you develop a coping strategy (see

Develop a coping strategy.

Identify your healthy coping mechanisms

There are a number of healthy coping mechanisms that can help you deal with stress. Some of these include exercise, relaxation techniques, journaling, and spending time with friends and family. It’s important to find what works best for you and to have a few different coping mechanisms that you can rely on when needed.

Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms

There are also a number of unhealthy coping mechanisms that can make stress worse. These include things like using drugs or alcohol to cope, overeating or undereating, avoidance, and self-harm. If you find yourself relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms, it’s important to seek professional help.

Seek professional help if needed

If you’re struggling to cope with stress on your own, it’s important to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you learn how to deal with your stressors in a healthy way.

Be honest with yourself.

Acknowledge your feelings

Don’t bottle up your emotions

Seek help if you’re struggling to cope

It’s important to be honest with yourself when you’re feeling stressed out or overwhelmed. Acknowledging your feelings and taking the time to process them is crucial for managing stress in a healthy way. Bottling up your emotions can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. If you find yourself struggling to cope, it’s important to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.

The most important thing to remember when coping with stressors is to be honest with yourself. Acknowledge your feelings, don’t bottle up your emotions, and seek help if you’re struggling to cope. By following these steps, you can develop a healthy coping strategy that works for you.

👁️ Real Truth 👁️

The Mind and Eyes: End of Life – Final Days 👣 My Story My Version 👣

If life was only always so beautiful and pretty. Yes, I said pretty. We all live in that world of our own. A world that our minds will always view in our own time. Our personal way of believing and most of all thinking. To live the dream, stress free, family, children, financially stable, and be overwhelmed with happiness. I know that we dream those dreams when we are young. As adults, we are the builders to those dreams. In the eyes of our visitors, everything from the outside is beautiful. The builder of those dreams, that isn’t easy, stress free and a blissful dream. We see everyone around us building a home, for a family, it looks easier than reality offers. We are wired to see the world move in a favorable promise. Especially when others make it all seems easy . But is it really as easy, as it appears?

Life happens and situations take place.

And then…

Something happens, we hate to forcefully admit to even face the thought of – illness or sickness. But the final days of end of life – for ourselves or a loved one. In our happy minds we are all just going to live forever. Even that thought can be corrupted or faded far from our minds. Nobody wants to imagine life without someone they love dearly. Life is built around family and friends, a routine. Of course we all love those we spend time with.

Some illness can be short lived or terminal that can be life changing. Not only for the individual, but the loved ones as well. Either to help care for the person or being the one with the illness; we are involved. That’s what love is and that’s who I am. I have been on the flip side to be with loved ones who get that “news”. It is like having that illness yourself. It’s emotionally painful. That damn it moment because that settling reality takes awhile to hit home. A million and one thoughts roll through our head. Planning the care, the who, what, when, and where plays in our thoughts – Real truth.

Are we present when we get that “news”? Yes, we are, yet it’s a fogging blur to comprehend. Reality to grasp the truth is tough, as it can crawl to realize this is it. As a slow, speed of understanding and comprehension of the illness – our mind is preparing for the – real truth.. Acceptance, acknowledge, and respond. The what’s next? Our angels are present, to carry us though. Those preparation days are filled with illusions that are real. In the moment, we wonder who will take care of us? Or we are the caregiver that is right there. The crippling pain that lies ahead, good days, bad days, tears, laughter, but we are in it together. It’s not easy to watch the loved one during the final days of life. However, we are blessed for the time spent. The Final days are an insight of what’s to come. We watch our loved ones talk with those who wait and guide us through our final days. Those that may believe are hallucinations from the dying process are assumptions. The moments are not hallucinations; by far as the final days is quite interesting. Many will say it’s medication or brain activity that causes end of life responses. So much one can learn about life and death, being a caregiver or observing a loved one’s final days.

My grandma was not medicated through hospice. I controlled her intake of what medicine came from hospice. What was given was very little. Grandma was aware of what was going on around her. She was able to tell me what her needs were. If I already knew, grandma did not, I repeat did not want to be knocked out to sleep. If she slept that was that, if she was awake, she was awake.

My grandma at 92, didn’t want to leave “us”. Of course her body was tired, 92 is decades of wear and tear on a person. She never missed a day without being fully focused or alert. A woman who never smoked or drank alcohol a day in her life. Everyday hours and hours I spent as her granddaughter and caregiver. For almost 20 years, I was involved with grandma’s doctor visits and involved in her life in general. I knew Grandma well enough and talked to her daily. To know her routine, depression, and overall well-being. She always knew where she was and was alert to her surroundings.. In October 2020, during the pandemic grandma got the “news”. The damn old Cancer was back from vacation. The moment was real. No matter what I was in this for the good, bad, and the ugly. As I wheel grandma out from her cancer doctor visit, going through the motion took over. The real truth – I never really imagine life without grandma. Grandma was a huge part of my routine, my world, and who I was. To break the silence, I said well looks like you stuck with me now grandma. She said “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”. Telling grandma with this pandemic, least we don’t have to wear these mask. That did make us happy, and being grandma’s caregiver my caution to prevent covid-19 was priority.

We meet with Hospice and they would agree to check in once a week or if any concerns or questions we could call 24/7. Grandma stayed with my mom. I went over everyday from morning to evening. As I could almost pinpoint what was next. For the most part, grandma was pain-free in her final days. What’s the real truth is her final days. Having mouth and throat cancer; all medication stopped 8 days prior to – her end of life.

Here’s what some fail to notice: real truth. My experience as a granddaughter and caregiver during those last days.

In those final days, grandmas attitude and personality changed. She was happy and loving more than ever. Grandma would talk about her mom, she would say, “they talked about everything”. Grandma & I would laugh and I said, “why’s your mom coming when I’m not here”? She comes after work, grandma said she been working a lot. Asking what kind of work she did, she does what you do, check up on people. I said, grandma, she keeping her eye on you. Making sure your not out dancing and your here getting better. My mom does, she keeps me company, gives me comfort, and tells me about where she lives.. And she don’t have to do much since you do a good job. 😉 Where does your mom, stay grandma? Mom said, it’s a beautiful place, she can’t describe it. She says, I will see it soon and be very happy. Will you live with your mom, grandma? Grandma just shrugged her shoulders, as it didn’t matter. In the conversation I could feel the energy of excitement in grandma. I just listened, after a while, grandma said, we need to lock the doors and windows. Men are coming through the walls. As my response was: Dang grandma, what kind of men are coming through the walls? They will help move me and take me home, grandma smiled as she talked. It was a calm and collective tone of voice. Grandma didn’t seem worried or scared. Now, as I listen, you would think a person would be scared or afraid. However it seemed like grandma was happy and ready. To me it was like the process of end of life, something changes in a person.

Six days before my grandma passed, entering her room I stood, watched, and listened. As I saw a woman with a medium build, snow white hair, stand to the left side of grandmas bed. The conversation was unstoppable. I could hear grandma talk about her life here on earth. Grand & great grand kids, her own children, her bird, it was like catching up with an old friend. Grandma had a mouth sponge she used like a sucker. The excitement was part of her being fidgety, wide eyes, and very talkative. At this phase she had stopped eating and could not even drink or sip water. In the middle of her talking out loud I walked in the room to her presence. Her eyes were wide, her smile was endless, her excitement was felt. Greeting her as routine, ‘good morning, grandma”. Normally I get the same response, quickly. This time she couldn’t talk fast enough about the presence of her mom. She said they talked all night and she was exhausted. Grandma asked if I would be there with her that evening. I said of course, where are we going? She said, a man had to meet with her and they would have coffee and cookies – she could bring someone, then they sang and danced. It was a welcoming meeting, to mingle with others. I said, “welcome meeting”? Grandma said yes, that’s where I will be going, in a few days. The conversation:  when am I going to go home?  I said you are at home grandma. Just where you’re supposed to be. 

As I listened to her, she said we will talk more afterwards when she got better. Now the conversation got real, she said “how much time do I have to live”? I knew Grandma wanted to live forever, so my response: “what makes you think your going somewhere”? She smiled and said, Well? I spoke from my heart. Not too much longer, maybe a week.. (She didn’t know her son from out of town was coming in). Her response was okay, the guy is supposed to talk to me tonight. Grandma kinda dozed off to sleep.

I was doing my normal daily routine, cleaning her room and changing bed sheets, regular care and out of nowhere. This day Grandma was full of information and questions. Grandma asked if my mom was okay? My mom checked in on grandma and helped when I wasn’t there, as they lived together. This question I knew Grandma needed to know. . I said, “yes grandma, my mom is fine”. I knew this was that question of being okay. To have her end of life there at the house, question. When the time comes you will be here as I promised. You will have all us that love you around, in this room.. Then you can fly with the angels, as they guide you to heaven”. You will be a beautiful soul renewed once you get to heaven.. She made a smirk and whispered. Then her eyes got big and said, “yes I know.”

She said, Della call the police see there, they are large with no clothes. Large men, that have high shoulders. If they are wings they have no feathers or hair. She said that they are not very pretty. Why are they here grandma? She said, they are supposed to move me, soon. I said, you’re not moving anywhere. She just shook her head yes.

I said, “are they people, angels, or what”? “Angels, Della”! Her voice cracked when she said those words. In a few blinks grandma kind of looked scared. She stared at me, barely using the mouth sponge, just as she got lost in thought, confused, or dazed.

Grandma knew she wasn’t hallucinating and was present to awareness., Very alert. She always knew her surroundings. I said, I thought Angels, were pretty and beautiful? Grandma shook her head, whispered “they are not. I always thought that too”. She said, your collection of Angels is pretty. I said, well they are not angels. In a crackled voice, yes, Della they came, maybe 4 or 5. Then she looked as if she was lost in conversation, staring again. After moments of silence, grandma starting talking a little. I laughed saying was you day dreaming? “No, Della those Angels just glow with nice colors”. With my own eyes, I could see a ray of what appeared to be a dust glow from the window. The light shines from the side window, from the sun. It was early afternoon, it had snowed I told grandma bout the weather. Grandma looked like she was dozing to sleep, then she look up and said, “see the light”? You didn’t hear anything I was saying did you? The man I talked to last night said watch for the light. Man? Light? Della, the man came to see me last night for the meeting, remember. I said, I wasn’t there. I went home last night. He came not long after you left. It was dark then?

“Yes, it was dark my night light was on he sat next to my bed. He even lifted me up in the bed a little.”. He had nice white hair and polite. I asked what he say? “Don’t be afraid”. Was you afraid or scared? A light laugh, “no I wasn’t afraid”. He held my hand and said words, I couldn’t understand him. Then he said he was taking the cancer and sickness from me. He did something cause I could hear him better.

Who was he? He is going to take me home. My heart broke and I could feel comfort, and peace filled the room. But you are home grandma, your not going anywhere. Until you fly with the Angels.🦋

It was real, my eyes teared up. Grandma in a demanding voice, “I know where I am. Right, when the Angels come”.

Grandma knew going home to heaven was flying with the Angels. No tears or sadness when she said those words.

I just watch her stare, barely any movement, fixated, in the moment. I went to the kitchen and was telling mom some of the conversation with grandma. Mom said it must be her days of confusion. I said she was not confused. I believe her, she is actually telling us how and what the process of death is. Just her way of not saying, I’m going through the dying process. But she was and I was able to observe, listen and learn. An unbelievable deep experience.

I had never questioned grandma for information. When she spoke of things I’d listen and make conversation with her. I will say that in her last couple days of life, she slowed in talking. I could talk about how I will miss her, love her, and say it’s okay for you to fly with the “Angels”. She always said “I Love you” back to me. Even on those days, but the stare was like a transitional exiting phase. I would talk crying my eyes out, and those moments were real truth. Life after death takes all pain away. Grandma had a few single tears maybe four total. In the two days of this process. My belief of pure truth life after death. Exiting our body during death is a process with an illness. As grandma said the man who came took cancer away.

I want to share some personal experience that’s – real truth. I can say, from experience I have walked, cried, been a caregiver over the years, watched, and learnt about death. Had I ever seen my loved ones cry before passing? Maybe a single tear, but cry? I have not. Now I have been the biggest cry baby moments before and after losing a loved one. That pain is crippling and life changing. We cry for the loss of a loved one, that’s entering eternal life of happiness. In my best knowledge, our minds are the way to life beyond death. As a person that experienced a realm to life after – the real truth beyond any hallucination of life. No matter the cause of death days prior, we will know. Our sense will be in a whole different presence. Something feels good but that we can’t fully grasp. Out of spontaneous energy, our sense of closure and connection are released to others. The attachment – bonding is a form of security and the littlest gestures help release that bond. Heard the myth that those dying, wait for someone, hanging on then once they arrive, they pass?. It’s true for the closing attachment to help us through our days without them. If you take a moment to think about the prior days before, – the real truth of closure not always presented. It might have been days, weeks, but the “good-bye” is there. At some moment, it was different. But it was a blessing, between you and your loved one. An example, if you have routine dinner, that evening you may have spontaneously enjoyed the evening outside. Just talking a week prior, in which those opportunities don’t take place. It may have been a silly gesture your loved one gave before leaving your house one day. If you really let your mind show you the peace offering it will be available.

The day grandma passed was expected but never was I ready for it.. I felt numb and thoughtless – dazed, even knowing happiness and no sickness was her transition to eternal life. The attachment is why we struggle. Loving someone is a painful experience. But as humans, to live for love is our purpose. To have eternal life, love is our purpose. If failing at love is an option, I don’t want any part of it. I am not religious by preaching testimony. I do believe, and I once was afraid to die. I was afraid of leaving this earth. The feeling was like going to the middle of a desert being left alone. Actually I was terrified. I watched death from a different experience and my own eyes. When we are faced with the loss of a loved one, we are crippled. Thinking is difficult and logic is far from reality at the moment. Clear focus is by far to make decisions or choices. Our first reaction is to hide or cover the pain. So actually the real truth is – those true moments are missed. Our minds tell us differently due to the state of mind. Reality is in the moment, as loss of a loved one, takes us out of the moment. Our time is motioned by pain, anger, and disbelief. The acceptance to have to de-attach from a loved ones presence is brutally painful.

The truth is, love others like your life depends on it. Those who leave us are safe, secure, and waiting to see us again. The presence of time does not exist in eternal life. The spirit of our soul is God’s final project..

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 🦋💕