Losing somebody you love is difficult and can be difficult to cope with. It can be hard to know how to go on, or even what to say to someone who is grieving. You may feel stuck in a rut, or that you are doing everything wrong. Losing a loved one is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. In this post, I will discuss some of the most important aspects of losing a loved one so that you can proceed with your life. You may feel many different emotions, pain, and shed lots of tears. It’s normal to grieve and heal from a loss of a loved one.
1. What do you need to know about grief?
It is hard to accept the loss of a loved one, especially when you are still grieving. It is important to remember that you are not alone in your grief. There are many other people who are grieving the same loss as you. It is also important to remember that grief is a process and that time heals all wounds. It is essential to have someone to help you through the process. You can find a grief counselor to help you through the grieving process. There are also many books that can help you with the grieving process. There are also many other ways to help yourself through the grieving process. You will only know what feels right and what feels uncomfortable. Do not make quick decisions too soon. Your loved ones belongings are in no rush to be bothered with. Making drastic choices or decisions; should be on hold. To get rid of the belongs or let others make decisions for you can be a heavy mistake later. If you feel uncomfortable assistance is available to help with your grievance process. It takes time to heal the loss of loved ones. Some individuals take months and years to begin to feel acceptable to the loss. It’s okay to take your time to process the grief, cry and to feel multiple emotions. You can not rush grievance, only time heals the loss.
Sometimes how we grieve can and will differ from others. If you’re feeling the need to hear your loved ones voice – listen to a saved voicemail, a video from an event. It’s okay to feel these emotions. Missing a loved one can and will create new feelings. These feelings you may have never experienced before. Grief is painful as hell and does not go away over night. Over time we ” get used to the absence”. But it doesn’t necessarily heal the heart. Keeping the memories, pictures, and remembrance close, can give a peace of mind to your life without them. In some cases, some individuals would rather let go. To some letting go -not talk about, see pictures, or live the memories as they are painful. Everyone is different what one person does may not work for you. It’s clearly normal and perfectly okay. In the process, if you feel more out of character reach out for help. If you have children, siblings, or close relatives in the household, keep in mind they are grieving as well.
2. What can you do to help someone who is grieving?
When someone you love dies, it is natural to feel a sense of loss and sadness. This is the time to hold on to the memories and focus on the new memories that will be made in the future. It is important to talk about the loss and the grief with others, as this can often help. Following are some ways you can help someone who is grieving: – Show up to support the person and be there for them – Offer your time and energy – Offer your space – Offer your support – Offer your love – Offer your comfort – Offer your caring. Most of all listen to their needs and choices. They may struggle to make arrangements or ask for help, give your best self, as a friend, supporter, and assistant. They will thank you in time, don’t make a person who’s grieving feel belittled by not saying “thank you” at every moment. Remember that most people grieving are unable to think clearly or focus at situations. Task can be overwhelming, ask if your help is needed with household task or errands. Yet let one have space as well. Some individuals would rather be alone, and that’s okay as well. Our emotions and behavior can be affected drastically. If you feel someone is out of mind or character, try to help them. Grief can cause dangerous behavior or even turning to substance abuse or alcohol. Be cautious of self destruction, not eating, drugs, alcohol or uncommon behavior. Don’t expect big or quick decisions for your grieving loved one. Let them share how they feel and what is needed to handle situations, as they arise. Never demand a grieving person into uncomfortable situations. In time those unsettling, decisions can be more damaging to their well-being. Be kind, respectful, and don’t take their unmindful words to heart. Grief can cause one to lash out and be unpleasant. Yet not meaning it, personally it’s grief emotions that can be harsh. If the lash out or extreme disrespectful words are consistent then other support may be needed. Trying to please a grieving person can be challenging. It can be best for all to walk away if need be. It’s okay, grieving can be difficult to cope with.
3. What should you do to support someone who is grieving?
When someone you care about is grieving, you want to be there for them. It is difficult to watch someone you care about struggle with the loss of a loved one. It is important to put your own feelings aside and support the person grieving. There are a lot of things you can do to help someone grieving. Some of these things include: – Being there for the person – Listening to the person – Helping the person find resources – Helping the person to find solace – Helping the person find a way to feel good again – Helping the person find a way to heal. – Let the person grieve as what works for them – Offer to bring food or join them for dinner. Sadly during grievance we fail to eat. It’s important to look for unhealthy habit as well. Over eating, alcohol abuse, or even drugs should be avoided. The pain is real and we all want to hide from pain. It hurts like hell but the grieving process will get better in time. We can only do so much for one who is grieving. Remember you are trying to help. Don’t take charge of situations without entitlement. More conflict can occur and situations can be hard to settle. Ask questions to help your loved one understand what is needed from them. Let them address their concerns as they may have a good reason to feel a certain way.. The loss can be devastating for many and in some cases some never get over a loss.
There are various ways to cope with the loss of a loved one. This post also suggests that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it is important to find a way that works for you. Time heals the loss of a loved one. Don’t feel rushed because there is no time limit. Just know that it may take months or years to heal. In time you can feel normal again, if you feel you can’t manage to cope, speak to a medical advisor. Assistance is there at all times or hours of the day. Take care of yourself, the struggle can impact your well being.
Overall it’s important to understand the grieving process. Grieving is mourning the loss of your loved one, crying, sharing, memories, celebrating the life of your loved one. Releasing the emotional ups and downs of pain and love is healing. Time will get us through, it’s up to us to understand… Nothing about grief can be rushed, healing can only be done with time. Take your time and take care of yourself.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋
The latest scientific studies have revealed some incredible things about what happens to us after we die, most of which you won’t believe until you see it with your own eyes! This blog post discusses the latest discoveries and what they mean for the future of humankind.
How we view life after death So what does all of this mean? This is a glimpse into the future. These are visions of what life after death looks like. At its simplest, we see that there is more going on than just the binary living or dead state. It’s not just black and white, but rather multicolored with many shades of gray. In other words, there might be some sort of afterlife after all, and it’s something we should keep an open mind about if we want to answer the ultimate question of life. However, for now, let’s focus on being alive. There is so much more to do and experience in this world before crossing over – at least for most people – and the best way to enjoy that time is by opening our minds up to new ideas and experiences.
Why do we have near-death experiences? Near-death experiences are thought to happen due to a release of life-saving chemicals called neurotransmitters and endorphins. These naturally occurring compounds can potentially lead to an out-of-body experience in which there is an awareness of one’s own death, passage into another world, or an immersion in one’s own thoughts. It could also be the result of hallucinations caused by oxygen deprivation or head trauma as the body tries to protect itself from oxygen loss during its final moments. In rare cases, it may be related to epilepsy. There are also many theories that try to explain why we have near-death experiences; some say it is because we’re about to rejoin our loved ones who have passed away while others say it is because we’re about to leave this world for good.
What are the main causes of near-death experiences? One of the main causes of a near-death experience is lack of oxygen. Studies show that there are two basic brain function patterns that take place in a near-death experience, hypoxia and hypercarbia. The hypoxia is when there’s not enough oxygen in the body and the person becomes sleepy and has trouble concentrating; this usually only lasts for about 10 seconds before it makes its way to the more serious hypercarbia. Hypercarbia means there’s too much carbon dioxide in the blood stream which can be caused by any number of things including heart attack or suffocation. If a person survives with their brain functioning, they’ll have memories of what happened during the time they had limited oxygen.
Why aren’t we all reporting NDEs? We can only guess, but it is possible that most people who experience this simply don’t report it because they feel like their experiences are not unusual. Many people have heard stories of NDEs and deathbed visions from older relatives or friends, but those older relatives and friends never share these stories because they’re afraid to worry the younger generation. It’s also possible that a person may be in denial about their own death, so when an NDE happens, they may choose to believe it was just a dream or hallucination. It could also be the case that some people have been embarrassed by a frightening experience (such as feeling trapped in darkness) and so never tell anyone about it.
How does the soul leave the body? People, especially in Western society, often ask how does the soul leave the body? This process can happen in three different ways. The first is from the physical body. As we grow older, our cells die and deteriorate to a point where we no longer have a functioning body. When this happens, there’s an absence of life coming from the person and it’s likely they have died as well. The second way is when a person who dies has their spirit take over another living being. In other words, the dying person takes possession of someone else’s body in order to live on. The third way is through an out-of-body experience (OBE). It’s said that OBEs occur for two reasons: 1) death may be imminent and the spirit needs time to prepare for what will come next; or 2) at any given moment one might not be aware that he or she has left his or her physical body and will return soon enough.
Purpose of Our Panoramic Visions We’ve all heard the horror stories of people who have had near-death experiences and were pronounced clinically dead, only to awaken later in a hospital with stories of seeing heaven. But what does this all mean? Is there life after death? Where do we go when we die? Is there an afterlife? These are some of the questions that many philosophers and spiritual leaders ponder. Near-death experiencers (NDErs) who come back from the brink of death tell us about their visions and memories, but it’s hard to know if they’re just making it up or really saw something. One possible explanation is that these panoramic visions are nothing more than hallucinations. In other words, they’re products of our own imagination – while we still live on earth – as a way for our brain to cope with dying. NDErs may experience tunnel vision or a sensation of weightlessness before going through the tunnel, but then find themselves floating above themselves at the moment of death. They then see themselves in darkness; often experiencing vivid images such as family members and friends waiting for them on the other side. Some even report meeting God during their experience. It’s possible that NDEs give people hope at times when things look bleakest, since so many describe meeting loved ones and feeling peace during these moments. Furthermore, they provide evidence that there may be life after death and point to a possible truthfulness of Christianity. And yet, skeptics argue that it’s impossible to prove the existence of an afterlife because we can’t disprove its nonexistence either. We will never know for sure whether there is life after death until we finally pass away ourselves. That said, I’ll bet you wouldn’t mind taking your chances if you knew you could meet your deceased loved ones again. To me, it seems like there has to be more to the story. While living humans can generate images of their own imagination within the last seconds before death, I would like to believe that there is something beyond death’s threshold waiting for me. I am willing to accept my fate as long as my soul doesn’t stay alone forever. In Mt personal experience, my eyes has experienced the realm that awaits. Not a hallucination that some claim. In moments of unexpected , visions and NBE’s have taught me about death and life after. It’s an option for each of us to believe or to not believe. But to have the experience is something worth sharing with those around you.
Can We See the Afterlife? Not only can our panoramic visions tell us about the afterlife, but they can also help us reach spiritual enlightenment. These visions act as a reminder of who we are and what’s happening in the world around us, ultimately allowing us to live a life that is more satisfying than anything we could have imagined before. Many people today are searching for the meaning of their existence, or looking for some type of spirituality. They turn to ancient religions and practices because they want an answer from someone else – an answer from someone other than themselves. With a panoramic vision these people may find their answers through an awakening into consciousness so deep it makes them realize how insignificant their worries really were. In this way, this form of visual art can be used as a tool for personal transformation and growth toward spiritual enlightenment. Each day we live life as we know it. Yet this life doesn’t compare to the spiritual realm that comes in the right time. It’s an inner peace of freedom to live life joyfully.
Those who are dying don’t cry, preparing for eternal life The end of life as we know it is a difficult and often dreaded concept. But for those who have faced death, there is something different that lies beyond—the possibility of eternal life. In recent years, more and more individuals have reported having panoramic visions during near-death experiences, which are said to offer glimpses into what lies ahead in the afterlife. These visions have been described as being incredibly vivid and profound. They may involve a range of phenomena, from hearing beautiful music or feeling a strong sense of love and peace, to seeing loved ones who have already passed away or travelling through a tunnel of light. According to those who have experienced these visions, they can offer insight into the afterlife, allowing us to understand more about what may be waiting for us after death. For those who are dying, these visions can provide great comfort and reassurance. Many report not feeling afraid or worried during their vision, even when faced with the ultimate mystery of mortality. Instead, they often feel a profound sense of peace and acceptance as they prepare for their journey towards the afterlife. These panoramic visions can also provide an important opportunity for the dying to gain closure with their loved ones. By getting a glimpse of what awaits them after death, the dying can take comfort in the fact that they will soon be reunited with those who have gone before them. In this way, these visions can be incredibly powerful in helping to provide solace and comfort during an otherwise difficult and frightening time. It is clear that these panoramic visions offer a unique window into the afterlife. Whether they are interpreted as literal depictions or as metaphorical representations of what awaits us on the other side, they can offer insight into life after death and help bring peace to those facing the end of their earthly life. These visions reveal that, although life after death might be difficult to comprehend, it doesn’t need to be feared. If you think of the transition of a loved one, tears never surfaced. The inner peace is visual to the point of a happiness in transition. What awaits can’t be real until we make the transition for ourselves. Until then we can believe that eternal life is everything we hope for.
What Happens When We Die? You might have an idea about what happens when we die. It’s easy to guess that when the body dies, our spirit or essence moves on or goes somewhere else. While there are many possibilities of what could happen at death, one thing is for sure; your life as you know it will cease to exist. But this doesn’t mean that everything stops with death. There is a lot more happening in the universe than what we can see from Earth and this includes energy, light and love going on past physical death.
Hallucinating before death Hallucinations are usually a result of neural activity in the brain, brought on by disease or injury. This is true for hallucinations that occur before death as well. For those who experience hallucinations before death, what they see will most likely come from their own thoughts and imaginings. There are stories of people with Alzheimer’s creating their perfect world before passing away, even if it means ending their life prematurely to be free from mental distress. It has been documented that children with terminal illnesses may have visions about heaven prior to dying. These cases are rare, but show how much we can learn about life after death through our panoramic visions. We don’t know exactly what these visions mean or where they come from. It could be a hallucination brought on by neural activity in the brain, an afterlife projecting their desires onto this reality, or a glimpse into another dimension we cannot comprehend. All of these explanations are plausible at this point; more research needs to be done so that one day we can finally understand the afterlife.
cconclusion The idea of life after death has long been a source of debate and fascination. While it remains impossible to definitively answer the question of what happens after we die, our panoramic visions can offer some insight into what might be in store. Our visions offer a glimpse into a potential afterlife, where we can continue to explore our spiritual nature and enjoy eternal peace. By understanding what our panoramic visions can tell us about life after death, we can better understand our own mortality and ultimately find peace. In this post, we’ve explored what our panoramic visions can tell us about life after death. We’ve seen that these visions provide a unique opportunity for us to gain insight into what may lie beyond the veil of death. We’ve discussed how our visions offer the promise of a potential afterlife, filled with peace and serenity. Lastly, we’ve considered how understanding our panoramic visions can help us come to terms with our own mortality and ultimately find peace. As we reflect on life after death, we can draw strength from our panoramic visions. These visions provide us with an invaluable opportunity to explore our spiritual nature and come to terms with the inevitable end of our earthly lives. With each vision, we gain insight into a potential afterlife that is filled with peace and serenity. We can draw strength and comfort from our panoramic visions as we strive to make the most of the time we have in this world.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋
The Mind and Eyes: End of Life – Final Days 👣 My Story My Version 👣
If life was only always so beautiful and pretty. Yes, I said pretty. We all live in that world of our own. A world that our minds will always view in our own time. Our personal way of believing and most of all thinking. To live the dream, stress free, family, children, financially stable, and be overwhelmed with happiness. I know that we dream those dreams when we are young. As adults, we are the builders to those dreams. In the eyes of our visitors, everything from the outside is beautiful. The builder of those dreams, that isn’t easy, stress free and a blissful dream. We see everyone around us building a home, for a family, it looks easier than reality offers. We are wired to see the world move in a favorable promise. Especially when others make it all seems easy . But is it really as easy, as it appears?
Life happens and situations take place.
Something happens, we hate to forcefully admit to even face the thought of – illness or sickness. But the final days of end of life – for ourselves or a loved one. In our happy minds we are all just going to live forever. Even that thought can be corrupted or faded far from our minds. Nobody wants to imagine life without someone they love dearly. Life is built around family and friends, a routine. Of course we all love those we spend time with.
Some illness can be short lived or terminal that can be life changing. Not only for the individual, but the loved ones as well. Either to help care for the person or being the one with the illness; we are involved. That’s what love is and that’s who I am. I have been on the flip side to be with loved ones who get that “news”. It is like having that illness yourself. It’s emotionally painful. That damn it moment because that settling reality takes awhile to hit home. A million and one thoughts roll through our head. Planning the care, the who, what, when, and where plays in our thoughts – Real truth.
Are we present when we get that “news”? Yes, we are, yet it’s a fogging blur to comprehend. Reality to grasp the truth is tough, as it can crawl to realize this is it. As a slow, speed of understanding and comprehension of the illness – our mind is preparing for the – real truth.. Acceptance, acknowledge, and respond. The what’s next? Our angels are present, to carry us though. Those preparation days are filled with illusions that are real. In the moment, we wonder who will take care of us? Or we are the caregiver that is right there. The crippling pain that lies ahead, good days, bad days, tears, laughter, but we are in it together. It’s not easy to watch the loved one during the final days of life. However, we are blessed for the time spent. The Final days are an insight of what’s to come. We watch our loved ones talk with those who wait and guide us through our final days. Those that may believe are hallucinations from the dying process are assumptions. The moments are not hallucinations; by far as the final days is quite interesting. Many will say it’s medication or brain activity that causes end of life responses. So much one can learn about life and death, being a caregiver or observing a loved one’s final days.
My grandma was not medicated through hospice. I controlled her intake of what medicine came from hospice. What was given was very little. Grandma was aware of what was going on around her. She was able to tell me what her needs were. If I already knew, grandma did not, I repeat did not want to be knocked out to sleep. If she slept that was that, if she was awake, she was awake.
My grandma at 92, didn’t want to leave “us”. Of course her body was tired, 92 is decades of wear and tear on a person. She never missed a day without being fully focused or alert. A woman who never smoked or drank alcohol a day in her life. Everyday hours and hours I spent as her granddaughter and caregiver. For almost 20 years, I was involved with grandma’s doctor visits and involved in her life in general. I knew Grandma well enough and talked to her daily. To know her routine, depression, and overall well-being. She always knew where she was and was alert to her surroundings.. In October 2020, during the pandemic grandma got the “news”. The damn old Cancer was back from vacation. The moment was real. No matter what I was in this for the good, bad, and the ugly. As I wheel grandma out from her cancer doctor visit, going through the motion took over. The real truth – I never really imagine life without grandma. Grandma was a huge part of my routine, my world, and who I was. To break the silence, I said well looks like you stuck with me now grandma. She said “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”. Telling grandma with this pandemic, least we don’t have to wear these mask. That did make us happy, and being grandma’s caregiver my caution to prevent covid-19 was priority.
We meet with Hospice and they would agree to check in once a week or if any concerns or questions we could call 24/7. Grandma stayed with my mom. I went over everyday from morning to evening. As I could almost pinpoint what was next. For the most part, grandma was pain-free in her final days. What’s the real truth is her final days. Having mouth and throat cancer; all medication stopped 8 days prior to – her end of life.
Here’s what some fail to notice: real truth. My experience as a granddaughter and caregiver during those last days.
In those final days, grandmas attitude and personality changed. She was happy and loving more than ever. Grandma would talk about her mom, she would say, “they talked about everything”. Grandma & I would laugh and I said, “why’s your mom coming when I’m not here”? She comes after work, grandma said she been working a lot. Asking what kind of work she did, she does what you do, check up on people. I said, grandma, she keeping her eye on you. Making sure your not out dancing and your here getting better. My mom does, she keeps me company, gives me comfort, and tells me about where she lives.. And she don’t have to do much since you do a good job. 😉 Where does your mom, stay grandma? Mom said, it’s a beautiful place, she can’t describe it. She says, I will see it soon and be very happy. Will you live with your mom, grandma? Grandma just shrugged her shoulders, as it didn’t matter. In the conversation I could feel the energy of excitement in grandma. I just listened, after a while, grandma said, we need to lock the doors and windows. Men are coming through the walls. As my response was: Dang grandma, what kind of men are coming through the walls? They will help move me and take me home, grandma smiled as she talked. It was a calm and collective tone of voice. Grandma didn’t seem worried or scared. Now, as I listen, you would think a person would be scared or afraid. However it seemed like grandma was happy and ready. To me it was like the process of end of life, something changes in a person.
Six days before my grandma passed, entering her room I stood, watched, and listened. As I saw a woman with a medium build, snow white hair, stand to the left side of grandmas bed. The conversation was unstoppable. I could hear grandma talk about her life here on earth. Grand & great grand kids, her own children, her bird, it was like catching up with an old friend. Grandma had a mouth sponge she used like a sucker. The excitement was part of her being fidgety, wide eyes, and very talkative. At this phase she had stopped eating and could not even drink or sip water. In the middle of her talking out loud I walked in the room to her presence. Her eyes were wide, her smile was endless, her excitement was felt. Greeting her as routine, ‘good morning, grandma”. Normally I get the same response, quickly. This time she couldn’t talk fast enough about the presence of her mom. She said they talked all night and she was exhausted. Grandma asked if I would be there with her that evening. I said of course, where are we going? She said, a man had to meet with her and they would have coffee and cookies – she could bring someone, then they sang and danced. It was a welcoming meeting, to mingle with others. I said, “welcome meeting”? Grandma said yes, that’s where I will be going, in a few days. The conversation: when am I going to go home? I said you are at home grandma. Just where you’re supposed to be.
As I listened to her, she said we will talk more afterwards when she got better. Now the conversation got real, she said “how much time do I have to live”? I knew Grandma wanted to live forever, so my response: “what makes you think your going somewhere”? She smiled and said, Well? I spoke from my heart. Not too much longer, maybe a week.. (She didn’t know her son from out of town was coming in). Her response was okay, the guy is supposed to talk to me tonight. Grandma kinda dozed off to sleep.
I was doing my normal daily routine, cleaning her room and changing bed sheets, regular care and out of nowhere. This day Grandma was full of information and questions. Grandma asked if my mom was okay? My mom checked in on grandma and helped when I wasn’t there, as they lived together. This question I knew Grandma needed to know. . I said, “yes grandma, my mom is fine”. I knew this was that question of being okay. To have her end of life there at the house, question. When the time comes you will be here as I promised. You will have all us that love you around, in this room.. Then you can fly with the angels, as they guide you to heaven”. You will be a beautiful soul renewed once you get to heaven.. She made a smirk and whispered. Then her eyes got big and said, “yes I know.”
She said, Della call the police see there, they are large with no clothes. Large men, that have high shoulders. If they are wings they have no feathers or hair. She said that they are not very pretty. Why are they here grandma? She said, they are supposed to move me, soon. I said, you’re not moving anywhere. She just shook her head yes.
I said, “are they people, angels, or what”? “Angels, Della”! Her voice cracked when she said those words. In a few blinks grandma kind of looked scared. She stared at me, barely using the mouth sponge, just as she got lost in thought, confused, or dazed.
Grandma knew she wasn’t hallucinating and was present to awareness., Very alert. She always knew her surroundings. I said, I thought Angels, were pretty and beautiful? Grandma shook her head, whispered “they are not. I always thought that too”. She said, your collection of Angels is pretty. I said, well they are not angels. In a crackled voice, yes, Della they came, maybe 4 or 5. Then she looked as if she was lost in conversation, staring again. After moments of silence, grandma starting talking a little. I laughed saying was you day dreaming? “No, Della those Angels just glow with nice colors”. With my own eyes, I could see a ray of what appeared to be a dust glow from the window. The light shines from the side window, from the sun. It was early afternoon, it had snowed I told grandma bout the weather. Grandma looked like she was dozing to sleep, then she look up and said, “see the light”? You didn’t hear anything I was saying did you? The man I talked to last night said watch for the light. Man? Light? Della, the man came to see me last night for the meeting, remember. I said, I wasn’t there. I went home last night. He came not long after you left. It was dark then?
“Yes, it was dark my night light was on he sat next to my bed. He even lifted me up in the bed a little.”. He had nice white hair and polite. I asked what he say? “Don’t be afraid”. Was you afraid or scared? A light laugh, “no I wasn’t afraid”. He held my hand and said words, I couldn’t understand him. Then he said he was taking the cancer and sickness from me. He did something cause I could hear him better.
Who was he? He is going to take me home. My heart broke and I could feel comfort, and peace filled the room. But you are home grandma, your not going anywhere. Until you fly with the Angels.🦋
It was real, my eyes teared up. Grandma in a demanding voice, “I know where I am. Right, when the Angels come”.
Grandma knew going home to heaven was flying with the Angels. No tears or sadness when she said those words.
I just watch her stare, barely any movement, fixated, in the moment. I went to the kitchen and was telling mom some of the conversation with grandma. Mom said it must be her days of confusion. I said she was not confused. I believe her, she is actually telling us how and what the process of death is. Just her way of not saying, I’m going through the dying process. But she was and I was able to observe, listen and learn. An unbelievable deep experience.
I had never questioned grandma for information. When she spoke of things I’d listen and make conversation with her. I will say that in her last couple days of life, she slowed in talking. I could talk about how I will miss her, love her, and say it’s okay for you to fly with the “Angels”. She always said “I Love you” back to me. Even on those days, but the stare was like a transitional exiting phase. I would talk crying my eyes out, and those moments were real truth. Life after death takes all pain away. Grandma had a few single tears maybe four total. In the two days of this process. My belief of pure truth life after death. Exiting our body during death is a process with an illness. As grandma said the man who came took cancer away.
I want to share some personal experience that’s – real truth. I can say, from experience I have walked, cried, been a caregiver over the years, watched, and learnt about death. Had I ever seen my loved ones cry before passing? Maybe a single tear, but cry? I have not. Now I have been the biggest cry baby moments before and after losing a loved one. That pain is crippling and life changing. We cry for the loss of a loved one, that’s entering eternal life of happiness. In my best knowledge, our minds are the way to life beyond death. As a person that experienced a realm to life after – the real truth beyond any hallucination of life. No matter the cause of death days prior, we will know. Our sense will be in a whole different presence. Something feels good but that we can’t fully grasp. Out of spontaneous energy, our sense of closure and connection are released to others. The attachment – bonding is a form of security and the littlest gestures help release that bond. Heard the myth that those dying, wait for someone, hanging on then once they arrive, they pass?. It’s true for the closing attachment to help us through our days without them. If you take a moment to think about the prior days before, – the real truth of closure not always presented. It might have been days, weeks, but the “good-bye” is there. At some moment, it was different. But it was a blessing, between you and your loved one. An example, if you have routine dinner, that evening you may have spontaneously enjoyed the evening outside. Just talking a week prior, in which those opportunities don’t take place. It may have been a silly gesture your loved one gave before leaving your house one day. If you really let your mind show you the peace offering it will be available.
The day grandma passed was expected but never was I ready for it.. I felt numb and thoughtless – dazed, even knowing happiness and no sickness was her transition to eternal life. The attachment is why we struggle. Loving someone is a painful experience. But as humans, to live for love is our purpose. To have eternal life, love is our purpose. If failing at love is an option, I don’t want any part of it. I am not religious by preaching testimony. I do believe, and I once was afraid to die. I was afraid of leaving this earth. The feeling was like going to the middle of a desert being left alone. Actually I was terrified. I watched death from a different experience and my own eyes. When we are faced with the loss of a loved one, we are crippled. Thinking is difficult and logic is far from reality at the moment. Clear focus is by far to make decisions or choices. Our first reaction is to hide or cover the pain. So actually the real truth is – those true moments are missed. Our minds tell us differently due to the state of mind. Reality is in the moment, as loss of a loved one, takes us out of the moment. Our time is motioned by pain, anger, and disbelief. The acceptance to have to de-attach from a loved ones presence is brutally painful.
The truth is, love others like your life depends on it. Those who leave us are safe, secure, and waiting to see us again. The presence of time does not exist in eternal life. The spirit of our soul is God’s final project..
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 🦋💕
When you feel like you’re addicted to something, it’s because you are. If you think about it, addiction is just a symptom of a problem. It’s not the problem itself—it’s what happens when you try to solve your problems with drugs or alcohol.
There are no pain killers that ease the pain of death. There is no pain killer in drug or alcohol form that solves any problem. My personal experience raw emotions over time, struggles of addiction and time in jail. Only one pain killer that is legit and real – Deal with it face to face. The truth is not easy, its painful, and a living hell at times. The truth is, it takes a long time to heal, cope, and deal with life events. Those challenges are open wounds. No one will admit to and wants to face – pain. My pain and struggles changed my life – forever.
Time is crucial to grief as I learnt the hard way. In my world, nothing made sense. Why? I couldn’t allow myself to feel raw emotions. Until I was forced to.
To me, I knew the pain would surface. For so long, I thought dodge ball would give me time to adjust. Time had lost its value, the world moved around me. I functioned due to that’s what life teaches us to do. The world doesn’t stop because you lost two loved ones seven weeks apart. The world doesn’t stop for anyone or anything.
Honestly, the days became a blank stare, everything moved as I stood still. My job at the time, was behind a computer. Thinking of the events was not happening while working. I choose to be a picker on a cherry picker. This the physical movement would keep my mind busy. I thought the grief had passed and life went on. Until….
September 11th, 2002. Brother that passed his birthday was Sept. 10th. That morning of the 9-11 year anniversary. In honor the company had moments of silence for both plane attacks. I buckled out of no where.. Functioning didn’t make sense. I hit my knees and fell apart. Crumbled to life raw painful emotions.. Six months after, life stopped. The only thing that matter at the moments was to leave. Walking in to my supervisors office, “I quit”. Out of character, he told me that I was okay. That I had time off work and just do whatever I could. Those words were not okay on my behalf. Once again, “I quit, you have no clue”. The HR lady called my name, and said here’s FLMA papers go to your doctor. They should give you time off work. She walked me to my car and explained the process. I went straight to my doctors office at that time. This doctor had been new and my first time meeting or seeing her. Explaining my situation, asking to help with FMLA. Her choice of words, did not go over well. She thought it was bogus to need time off work. Depression or anxiety, any of that she thought I was fine, just trying to get paid. My tolerance level just ticked. It was not the right time or practice of option, to her observation. I stood up and said, ” I hope you still have your father and your brother”. Quickly her response was ” yes I do”. I said that’s why you have no right to judge me, you have not experienced what I’m going through”. As your tongue was sharp, I hope you think next time before you share your opinion. When you can’t speak without experience just do your job. I got up to exit and my regular doctor was shocked. Leaving the office, I went to a doctor close by my house. I told the office I had just left my family doctors office and the situation. By law your not suppose to do that “doctor shopping”. I had not a care in hell, I needed help now. The doctor I seen was older, experienced, he knew I needed help. He personally made a phone call to the prior doctors office. Mentally I was a mess, yet I thought I was strong enough as time passed. Then falling apart, nothing was real. Emotions were painful, the triggers I was not aware of. The day after my brothers birthday. My mind starting thinking, remembering, wondering, and it happen. The anti-depression and anxiety medication were prescribed.
My days sleeping 15 to 20 hours a day. I must have been overwhelmed with exhaustion. If I woke up to eat or use the bathroom, daylight or night was never acknowledged. To shower was a big functioning task, that didn’t matter. Why should it when I’m just sleeping all the time, right? I became non-existent to the world. My mom would open my bedroom door check in on me. She had tried to make sense of it, her words would stick through my barely open eyes. ” I love you”, I heard many times. But I could barely move or function. Antidepressants became a non-functioning zombie creation, I hated more. My struggles were deep, changing medication made it worse. At some point over a course of 6 months time – my eyes opened more often. Hopeless, helpless, I needed help.. The struggles were daily, hourly, and serious. I suppose I got enough rest, cause I no longer wanted to sleep. Something inside of me was making sense. I rarely continued the medicine. So unconsciously I slowly detoxed from prescription medications. My only option was self-help. I began to write, as I would lay awake in bed thinking. I struggled with why would depression medicine make a person sleep.. ? Actually I started to feel worse taking the medicine. In time I was going back to work, the day was approaching. My mind was all over the place.
Slowly adding to my daily task, writing was priority and waking up was too. I had to face a lot of challenges. I had woken to a pending drug charge that was mine. My charges, my fault, not the addiction, – my problem. Not grieving, not understanding, not knowing, and hiding pain with addiction drugs and alcohol.
Functioning is a real struggle when life keeps moving. – Standing still is tough. But reality being crippled, disabled, mentally stopped in the tracks of life. Numb, thoughtlesss, living in a foggy world that I could only live in. I created this fog because I never learnt to function to death. Death- a zombie trying to drag ass through life. Life that’s so painful – crawling, due to, I been beaten, rolled, tossed, and shattered inside, and out. A hot mess in reality. I stank as a person because I didn’t know my strength. Giving up defeated me. I was all that above and more. Ripped, toren, high, drunk, and a walking mental mess.
Non-existent one where problems now surfaced and facing jail time. I felt invisible to jail, traumatized by life events, there was no excuse. My problems were my responsibility to be human again. Face life as I now had challenges. Obstacles that surely did want to face.
I had to report monthly to my parole officer. I had a great job, I was drug free and I honestly felt great. My goal was to conquer my grief with positive energy. At work, I pushed my limits to excel. But I felt alone. The lonleness created another addiction – sex. The truth is I was going to the gym working out, feeling great, going to the tanning bed, I never felt so amazing with ambition, life made sense. Or did it? My sex addiction was replaced from drug addiction. I made a promise to God to keep me safe and protect me during my journey of exploring sex options.. I refused to be attached to any man. I had lost two of my favorite men in my life. Loving a man was not an option at the time. My plan of action was in form of good habit routine. I was loving yet not lovable to my inner pain. My parole was about done. Drinking started regularly as my sex addiction slowed. My habits were changing as I knew my routine was about to be disrupted. Filling a blank isn’t always easy.
The challenges of living back on track “the good life”, still has negative impacts. After completing parole, I now had a felony charge on my background and record. Career moves and education would be tested. Blessed with a hard work ethic, my felony never gave any problems. In time I had my felony expunged. That wss inner peace of my self. I furthered my education with a Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology in 2010. I was coming alive inside cause I knew how to. Overtime I Iearnt what it takes to overcome. Being defeated is temporary. I felt I wasn’t strong enough to fight, down to being defeated. Wrong was I? I built an empire that I never knew was possible. So much can be done. No that anything is possible with one tool.. The master to life is 🗝️ to the mind, and that’s time. Educating the Mind. Your mind is power. You have the world of endless dreams when you open your mind. Educating the mind to life is a promise to overcome challenges. The best defense is knowing you have the option to learn. My life is far from perfect, knowing life makes sense is what matters. Struggles are life’s tools that give us strength. Love is an opportunity to prove your worth of being human. Love is told to be a beautiful thing. Love is the most painful experience that one must face. Truth be known Death is the love to eternal life. We must feel the worst level of extreme pain. That pain of life is the sacrifice to death. Afterlife of no pain, no sorrow just pure happiness of a world created by our God. My God has shown me life that exist beyond realm. As I have felt and visioned the life through my own eyes.
Life is precious to our eternal days. We will face the good Lord with treasures of our character. If those treasures are damaged at fault of yours, overcoming might be challenging.. Life of misery and hell will be provided, as you create your destiny. Time here on earth is measured by blessing to help one another, and valued human life as you perceive it. Hurting others and offering negative energy maybe your choice to void eternal life that’s promised. Until that judgement day is face to face with death. May you be the best product to life. A product everyone is proud to know and be a part of. If those words bite or sting- you have power of the mind to educate your options to overcome actions and behaviors. You are stronger than you think. As the mind never fails if you apply the time and work. Defeat is not an option to eternal life. Challenges may be mountains but mountains can be climbed. Lace up those boots and motivate the knowledge to be your best self. Life is best when dealt with by learning to overcome with a powerful tool – the mind.
Thank you for your time and for visiting ✔️Mental Mess, Life, and God. 👣 – My Story My Version – 👣
Not everything has an immediate solution. But knowledge can help you through it. Patience and time will guide you if your willing to put in the work.
If you want to stop using, there are a few things you can do:
First, figure out what caused you to start using in the first place. Was it a traumatic experience? Was there someone who told you that using drugs or alcohol was acceptable? Was it peer pressure? Childhood environment? Life has so many hidden stressors that we are blinded by. When we think, we aren’t strong enough? Think about a plan of action to overcome. Keep the plan fresh in mind. Support yourself with enjoyable positivity. Once positivity begins to flow, it becomes a regular flow.
Once you’ve figured this out, make sure that whatever caused your addiction no longer exists for you. If someone tells you that drugs or alcohol will make your life better, try not to believe them. They may have been lead by peer pressure and may have had some sort of experience with drugs or alcohol themselves—but they’re not responsible for your decisions and can’t expect you to make the same choices they did.
The next step is figuring out how much time and money are going towards solving these problems and how many hours of sleep are being lost because of them. Identifying these things will help keep track of solving the problem. Addiction is easy.. Overcoming is a challenge but your mind is powerful to help you through. Don’t give up.. Get up and face to challenge. In time you will gain so much positivity, ambition will guide you with a peace of mind.
Love to hear your experience and rewards of overcoming challenges you experienced. Shared stories can be the best therapy for another who is challenged with life of addiction or events. Feel free to share your experience.
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della 💞🦋
Life seemed to be good for me, a Junior in High School. One weekend I left my car at work. Rode with friends to hang out around the forth of July in 1995. My friends boyfriend was much older who kind of, okay he was weird. We were going to his house, to hangout; in which he lived with his parents. Arriving, the feeling was creepy, many acres of land and an old house. A house that immediately, presented visions flashed faster than fast forward through my eyes – like reality. The projector was intense, visions with people walking all around the house inside and outside. He joked as we got out the truck that many years ago, funerals were held in the main room of the house. Yes, being creeped out was more than a feeling. I felt and saw way too much as the flashes of visions, made me feel sickish. In less than fifteen minutes, I seen the zombie apocalypse in reality. People walked around like we weren’t even there. A whole world that is beyond death. Spiritual world that takes place everyday, like we go on about our days. Not even knowing the spiritual world exists around us, but it does. The ability of seeing this world is beyond a gift. In the movie “Ghost”, Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are clear examples of the world viewed through my eyes. Trying to communicate is frustrating, as are they able to see me? What message behind the visions do I need to know?
That moment my perspective changed on death. That creepy feeling was a peace and calmness that came over me. Actually it was interesting, yet wonder if they could see me.. My friends boyfriend would talk about ghost being in the house. He said many noises were heard which was right on point- for sure. The plan was to watch movies; night hanging out no alcohol or drugs which was rare for us on a weekend. Others wanting to watch faces of death, scary, creepy, or blood movies. I never understood the need to torcher the mind and body with such demoralizing content. That’s not my choice of movies, immediately I said,” no way”. Of course I am out ruled and “Faces of Death” it was.
I never was someone to watch any type of violence, death or blood seeker-gory movies. My point, it is mind-warping negative images that I’m not interested in seeing. Having visual gifted vision was enough. We were all talking and kind of missing the movie. Which was my plan to offset watching at all cost. Conversation and laughing was better while the movie played on the TV. So not really paying attention to what was on the screen. All sudden I froze, was numb a spirit stood by me pointing to the TV. I felt the connection was beyond real. The screen was a guy in a bad car wreck, I barely could watch. My head began to hurt, eyes blurred, and the projector played in my head. The faces of death on TV matched my projection playing, a sick, nausea felt in my stomach. The face of my cousin was real, black and white image on the TV screen did not stop the real message. . Looking at the clock it was a little after 2 am. Something happened, my mind and body was feeling it. My head began to pound, eyes twitched and blurred, perspiration in my hands. Heat ran through my veins, as my face felt flush and sweaty.
Felt like the others have seen this drastically change in me. Trying to overcome the uncomfortable feeling seemed impossible. I told my friend it was getting late, I should go home. On the ride to my car, it was like being on a rollercoaster ride, feeling I was rolling and dizzy. Only 4 miles to my house, was eternity. Arriving home, I went in and wrote in my journal then fell asleep. Waking up my head still was hurting not as bad but it was noticed. I heard the phone rang so I went to my dads bedroom door. My dad said “You got to be kidding?” I knew what I seen was real. Dad hung up the phone it was bout 7:00 am. He asked if I wanted to go to my uncles house, that my cousin was killed in car accident last night?. Yes, I will go. My neck hurt really bad. Once at my aunt and uncles house, learning bits an pieces of the accident. My family was crippled by the news. My cousin being a popular, handsome young man in his 20’s. A full life just before him and just getting his CDL’s. Life didn’t once again seem fair. Seeing the visions, gave in-depth meaning to life and death – Seeing is to Believe 👀.
Late January of 2002, one evening for dad to be in bed was rare. That week he mentioned a few times he didn’t feel well. As he continued to say he would see his family doctor. Checking in on him, a yellow tint was noticeable. I knew it was serious, called 911 to have him taken to the hospital. Following the ambulance many visions continued like a slideshow in my head. No matter what was to come, I would be right there. From behind, I could see a women’s shadow, sitting next to him in the ambulance.
Gang-green set in on dad’s gallbladder. With infection, drain tube experiment, and the discovery – that “C” word – cancer. Gastric cancer, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. Everyday for days to come were blurred, numb, but I was there day in day out with Dad. The decision to take the stomach to golf ball size – to remove cancer. My drug addiction was discovered – to numb the pain- here I am! My middle brother and I got really close; as we all struggled with the news. “Meth” was the go to, need to, and my want too. “Add it” the addiction, suppressed feeling of what was coming. The day of dads surgery, it was a very lengthy procedure. Many hours and complications it was late that evening; once we got to see him in recovery. My heart broke in many pieces, it was real. Before seeing him, my body tingled, it was not a good feeling.
He had a breathing tube in and he was exhausted. My eyes got blurred, my hands sweaty and my body was weak. My face flush, my words mumble, needing to get fresh air. Tears were fresh and emotions felt in deep stabbing heart wrenching pain. I walked down a hallway, white walls and a bright light. Feeling as I felt my way down the hall.. As dizziness, nausea, faint weakness, and clammy feelings of hot flashes filled my body; A voice “I am so sorry honey, your father is a very sick man. We have tried everything to make him comfortable.” Barely being able to see because of how weird I felt, I said “thank you so much”. And before I could say anymore, she was gone. I knew she was real by her taking my hand and talking to me.
Days to come were hard emotionally, mentally, and physically. Never had I felt so numb and so thoughtless. My mind was blank – blank as in, I couldn’t think or process anything. My body had just functioned on auto-pilot. Drugs became my push through that enabled a functioning behavior. To hide the pain and emotions that were real. “Add it,” grew in need as time didn’t stop. Cancer then became over powerful to spread aggressively. Dad passed away March 3rd, my world stopped. The world around me kept moving. Functioning was just that, with additives. Additives of drugs were daily and very frequent.
My middle age brother “Bull” became my best friend. His character of stubborn and bull headed gave his nickname. He lived within walking distance in front of dads house. Our conversation and closeness helped me function. I was proud to be his sister. We connected like never before in the past years. Time was special for sure.
*** Bull – My Brother ***
It had stormed really bad, while coming home from work. I noticed a huge rainbow of beautiful bright colors. It was a very happy moment, but was it a sign? After returning home, my youngest brother called my brother I got very close to was in a boating accident. The news spread fast as my brother was missing from the boat. A storm had mad the waterways rough and a barge may have passed. Causing the boat to capsize due to combined weather and water conditions. His long time friend who was legally blind had made way to shore. My brother had thrown him the life jacket, and my brother began to swim.. The rough waters from the storm challenged my brother.
As the water rescue team, searched for my brother, night had closed in. We sat on the banks of the river in silence watching. My uncle said ” this the stuff we see on the news and we turn it off and go to bed”. Those words hurt deep, with truth, as it was real. That moment we wished could have been a bad dream or the ability turn it off. . It was our family, our brother, son, friend, one of us. Seven weeks after my dads death and now my brother?
To find my brothers body was priority. Prayers were in high demand. In three days of Water Rescue searching the waterways to recover the body. My younger brother found a cooler lid that read “Hope”. My mom felt someone kiss her in the middle of the night and say “I Love you!”. She barely seen a face but knew someone was there. A roff.frsat on my window seal for those three long days. A week prior to the accident, my dad came to me, stood at the end of my bed. I thought I was dreaming, he said, “God will never give you more than you can bare”. A blurred vision the projector – a side glimpse of a mans face. More than once, I said, “Pop, who is it”? I couldn’t see clear enough,. An angel in my room fell from the wall. It was real that image was someone – just as my collection of angels never failed. The boy angel below an angel picture of children. A girl angel kneeled across from the boy. The blue angel boy off.from the wall after my fathers visit.
I was scared when the police knocked on the door. My brothers body was recovered. Relieved for that part of closure but devastated. My addiction got real, really quick. Being close to another was not in my plans. Numbness wasn’t even close to a feeling. The world moved around me, for the most part I barely stood still. I struggled with addiction. I struggled with life, I struggled with who I was, who I become. The struggle was real.
Having a closed casket for my brothers wishes. He wasn’t keen on everyone seeing and crying over him, as he was also a private person.
Which he told me those wishes seven weeks prior at our fathers funeral. Walking into the private viewing before the service, ability to see him. My heart sunk in my stomach, a side view. “Yes, dad gave me that vision”. My brother, the face was clear, a side view across the room.
Why would I have these vision if I could not change anything? Life didn’t have answers. Answers to this world, my life and connecting to death. Well it was too damn much. My addiction grew but I could careless. My drinking was regular and my ability to take care of me – was failing. A time or two I remember doing laundry finding a shirt of my dad’s. The scent of old spice or Brut after-shave. A scent that I love to smell, even the reminder brings fresh tears. Thise little things were so crippling. I was so angry, pissed off, drugs was an addiction that grew to cover pain. At one point, I begged God to take me out of this world. It just wasn’t fair.. I didn’t want those visions, it made no sense. I wasnt myself anymore. I was suppose to function in the painful world. How does that happen in a normal person? Normal I once was, life took that from me. One thought that never amazed me more – life is the real raw experience that is not learnt. Its learnt with pain, emotion, physical and mental pain. Its called “live it” by experience. You and only you, can know those raw moments. Functioning is tough, functioning is unpleasent everyday. Until you learn to grieve. Grieving is the key that opens your world- of you once again. I had no way of dealing or coping by experience. This my friends, was my experience to cope, grieve, and grow by experience. Drugs and alcohol become a habit to function. A suppressing mechanisms to cover emotional pain. In my state of mind, I was losing myself. Help was my next need, but how, who or where does this begin?
Look for my next: My Story My Version: 🙏My Mental Mess – My Life – My God 🙏
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della 💞🦋
Death is most likely one of the hardest pain and emotion to accept. For sometime after a loss of a loved one, numbness, denial, and avoidance takes place. With death happens in the cause, the emotions are painful and confusing. What takes place after one’s death is the mystery that triggers mix emotions. Hell no one wants to talk or deal with death. It’s a taboo that is faced when death happens. Death can not be prepared for. Understanding death can help the mourning process and stages of grief.
In fact death is one of the painful, life changing events a person must endure. There is no time frame to grief. Everyone is different, so many factors seperate how each person grieves.
Grief is a normal part of life and it is inevitable that we will all experience loss at some point in our lives. It can happen to anyone, but some people may be more susceptible to experiencing complicated grief after a loss that has affected them deeply.
Mental health professionals know that there are many ways to cope with difficult emotions, including complex grief. But as with any kind of therapy, the journey toward healing requires patience and commitment from both parties involved. If you are experiencing complicated grief after the death of someone close, take comfort knowing that help is available if needed.
The grieving process
Grief is a normal response to loss. The grief process is not linear; it can be experienced in many different ways and on different levels. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it’s important that you know what stage you’re in so that you can find the right support system for yourself.
The stages of grief are: shock and denial, anger, bargaining (a period where people say they will do anything if their loved one comes back), depression (depression may last longer than other stages), acceptance/movement forward with life without your loved one beside you
Grieving is a process that many people go through after the death of a loved one. It’s normal to feel upset and confused, as well as angry and upset. You might also have feelings of guilt or depression.
The first step in coping with grief is acknowledging the fact that it’s happening to you—and that it’s okay! You don’t need to be alone in your emotions. Your family and friends are there for support, which can help ease some of those negative emotions so they don’t control your life completely.
Grieving involves many different stages: denial (the belief that nothing could ever hurt this much), anger (anger at God/demanding justice), bargaining (the attempt at getting something out of what happened instead of dealing with loss), depression (disappointment over having lost someone), acceptance (accepting reality without feeling guilty).
Signs you might be dealing with complicated grief
You might experience the following:
Difficulty adjusting to a new normal. The death of a loved one can bring up strong emotions and feelings that you never felt before, including anger, sadness and guilt. This can be difficult for people who are used to dealing with these emotions on their own.
Strong emotions. You may find yourself experiencing strong emotional reactions when you think about your loved one or even when looking at pictures of them in old pictures or memories from back then (or even now). These feelings may not just be sadness but also anger towards whoever caused such an awful tragedy; whether it was God or fate itself; they all have their part in all this mess!
When to seek professional help
If you are currently experiencing any of the following symptoms, it’s important to seek professional help:
Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep
Loss of appetite or overeating
Lack of concentration at work or school
Feeling hopeless and helpless about life in general
Experiencing loss is hard and it will take time to heal.
When you experience loss, it can be hard to think about the future. You may feel like there is no point in getting up in the morning because all that awaits is another day filled with sadness and pain. This feeling will pass, but it takes time for your brain to adjust back into normalcy after experiencing a trauma like this one. The best thing you can do while grieving is distance yourself from the event and try not to think about it too much or try too hard not to feel sad or angry (which can lead to more stress). It’s important that you don’t let yourself become overwhelmed by these emotions—just let them flow over you without trying too hard not to feel. Understanding that death is part of life is hard to accept. Grieving is not a quick process, its a process on your time. Depending on your closeness to the loved one, it can take months to years to accept the loss. There is no right or wrong grieving process.
As you can see, it is normal to experience grief after losing a loved one. There are many different stages that people go through when grieving, but eventually everyone will get through this process on their own time. One day at a time with no immediate decisions while grieving the loss if a loved one. It is important to not make any decisions. Those decisions, you may not be ready to make. You may feel a mental numbness or fog without clear focus. Take time to grieve then choice of decisions later. Remember take time to greive, its an important process of healing.
In due time I will add to My Story My Version of my experience with Death. Look for it in your subscription.
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della 💞🦋
May of 1987, celebrating the first birthday of my cousin. Laughter and voices filled the air, splashes of pool water throughout the day; memories made. As the day grew old, darkness was closing in. My uncle and brother headed to the car to retrieve hanging lights to continue the celebration. Unable to go, hiding by the garbage cans, I waited. Watching as they crossed the street, then slowly followed to the edge of the street. In a distance my eyes locked on to a red and white Coke-Cola sign. Hung from a local Pub or Bar. One step in the street—.
An old blue station wagon struck me in the right side. That moment everything went dark. Complete darkness when a soft swift felt under my body. A bright white light covered my eye lids, as tranquility flowed through my body. In the darkness of the moment, a soft voice whispered in my ear. Unable to understand the words, calming music or instruments was heard. Opening my eyes to a pure bright white light. The ray of beauty of an Angel that held me in her presence. A moment of tranquility filled my body, no pain, sadness or tears. My eyes fixed on the angel who glowed with peace and love.
What then seemed to be a real moment of watching as a car hit my body. Tossed in slow motion, a blue head band flung in the air. The sound of screeching echoed in the air, from the tires braking to dodge the child in view. Instantly my body flew in the air like a sling shot. Roughly 15 ft. as a solid dropped childs body bounced off the windshield. A final roll of what appeared as a rag doll, smacked the hood of the car. Only to tumble in a final hard drop, ending with the pavement. The rolling of a blue head band was heard as it spun to a complete stop. As a witness ran to the body of the young child. Appeared laying lifeless in the street. Nearby, the childs uncle and brother also had witnessed the accident. As a crowd gathered round, the passenger door of the car opened, when a gun fell in the street. The two occupants of the car had just shot and buried a family dog. Commotion got loud, realizing the two men had been in-laws to the family.
(I want to make this side note ) – I believe the impact caused the unconsciousness. If this was a dream or if I died it would be confusing. With no open gashes, wounds, scratches, head trauma or injury noticeable. It confusing as the next two paragraphs are blurred. I have struggled for years to write the meaning and detail – theres no right words or structure. Able to witness and experience at the same time. Here goes..)*
** the presence of a beautiful angel. As we watched the accident play on a big screen – real-life. Nothing at the moment felt pain or sadness. I couldn’t hear talking or feel anything as the ambulance arrived. )**
During the experience, shadows I could see many people the seemed very busy. If they were people, they would appear in a distance not noticing me. I don’t remember any noise of like production work or any chaos. Instrument sounds played softly and a voice of a man was heard, “the time come, exact form will flow like a river – a gift”. Waiting to see a face or person, neither revealed. I could only remember those words clearly. Yet never able to hear the clear words the angel had whispered in my ear. Those words were of a man, aren’t 100% since never seeing a face. Even though the voice was calm and clear, to me was a mans voice. Those words I didn’t understand. “The time come, exact form will flow like a river – a gift”.
The ambulance arrived, taking me to the nearby hospital. Every moment the beautiful angel held me in her arms. Watching life in real time, I could hear soft glamorous sound of music. A music that was soothing peaceful, happy, and complete joy. To feel the tranquility to amazing to be real. Time to time my angel would whisper in my ear. The voice so clear and stable never explained what was happening. Thankful for the presence, comfort, yet confused to – Am I dreaming? Reality of where I was in this experience. I could see people that were in real-time. I couldn’t communicate or hear – its confusing to describe the stuck in between moments. I could hear a formilar voice and a hard pull at my ear. Being tossed on to a bed, lights were bright, a woman said, “You remember me”? My oldest brothers mother-in-law. I didn’t get to respond, my little body hurt so bad. Opening my eyes, as I woke up, I began to vomit. The pain was over baring, why did everything hurt? All of a sudden, a lady was jerking at my ear, trying to remove my earrings. Mrs. D, my brothers, mother-in-law took charge. Gently removed both earrings. Preparing me to have a CAT scan. Not feeling well at all, I continued to vomit. Mrs. D gave me a shot, so the vomiting would stop. I must have fallen asleep momentarily, mom and dad was sitting next to my bed. I thought I was going for CAT scan but that was done when I fell asleep. Dad helped me up, and mom walked me to the bathroom. Now a urinalysis test was needed before being discharged. Closing the door in the restroom as I went alone, while mom was talking to Mrs. D outside the door. I felt horrible, weak and tired… I tried so, so hard to urinate. I couldn’t, I wanted to cry. As I sat on the toilet, my (Angel) stood in a smoke fog by the door. She just smiled at me, if she had words to say – nothing was heard or spoken. She was so beautiful and smiled the prettiest smile. I was so happy to see her I started to pee. She waved and disappeared through the door. Had I realized I used the bathroom? Mom open the door and asked if I was okay? I told her I couldn’t go, Mrs. D said “you did go honey”. Not long after releasing and we went to my aunts to stay the night.
Had I been touched by an Angel? Absolutely! Was this an out of body experience and did I go to heaven? I wouldn’t say heaven for sure. However, I did experience a moment out of body. That short time, felt amazing and peacefully heartfelt. Was there a purpose? Of course, it took me quite sometime to adjust. To fully understand the purpose – Trying to understand one day, I asked my mamaw. She read a big book that, was always placed on her coffee table. Reminder as nothing is to be on the book – the “Bible.” Asking her if the invisible man was part of the Bible? “Yes, the good Lord’s work, Jesus”. I tried to explain how when I got hit by the car, an Angel sweep down and saved me. My mamaw told me Angels was around us all the time. Angels help us through situations and work for Jesus. She explained the bible. I was young and didn’t grasp the understanding. I never told anyone, writing was my understanding and awareness to this so called “gift”. Unable to ask questions about the beautiful angel that gifted me. My mind always looked for answers. I had heard about this man Jesus, invisible or a higher power. Mamaw gave me some information but I needed to know more. Some said he made miracles happen. Never had I met him or heard from him. One day after writing in my journal, looking around my room.- no one was there just me. Not knowing how to contact this man, I figured maybe if I just talk to him. – Just maybe this higher power would help me understand. Remind you. I am 9 years old, – The 5th grader and learning a few things. Not really, clueless by all means, to any grown up stuff. So here I am, ready set go. Exact words I had said. Higher power that’s invisible. Crazy how I never forgot this day. Its clear as ever nearly (34 years later). Anyway, Higher power that’s invisible, I got hit by a car and I knew the guys. They are relation to my brother. Well Higher power, this lady very beautiful – my angel lady held me while this dream happened. The dream was real when the car hit me. I started to feel like I was having a real-life conversation with higher power. He was invisible but little by little words or bits and piece of talking I could hear. A kid – higher power I can’t hear you. Almost like a radio with static seemed to be heard, clear words, static, static, then I would feel warm or cold. I would have these visions or pictures in my head, and then like on big screen. Trying to squint my eyes, wanting to see the message, given me. Lord, I’m a kid, can you tell me what “the time come, exact form will flow like a river, mean? Everything went silent, why did he stop talking to me?
Every now and then, if I squinted hard enough I could see the view clearer. The struggle to see got easier and easier. The radio talking had less static more clear voice. That radio had messages that scared me. After a little while I could feel my body temperature change and see unpleasant views. Hearing voices that had negative energy. Those at times weren’t comfortable. I didn’t like those visions of evil – mad people. It was hard to understand.
One day after school, getting off the bus felt like I stumbled. I felt dizzy and very hot. Stopping at mamaws trailer, the front door was cracked, immediately it was hot in there. All stove burners red hot, nothing on the stove. Potato peels on the floor, something was wrong. Mamaw was so confused, I got the stool and turned the burners off, having mamaw sit down. She wasn’t feeling well, she was very hot. Calling mom and dad, dad came up and he said mamaw was trying to cook. Her daughters were coming to visit from Florida. Dad and mom took mamaw to the hospital to have her checked out.
Later that evening, dad, mom, brought mamaw to stay at our house. My aunt – dads sister came to stay also. The doctor said mamaw had, had several mini strokes. The plan was to take her to the family doctor in the morning. My aunt slept in the room with my mamaw, I slept on the couch in the living room. Waking to my aunt and dad talking, dad told me to go back to sleep. They both went into the bedroom. My aunt had mamaws head in her lap. Whipping mamaws head with a wash cloth and talking to her. Mamaw took a drink of gatorade and said “that was good, nice and cold”. Waiting to see, I went closer to the bed as dad stood by the door. My aunt put my hand with mamaws, she said to me “no matter what, I will always be with you as you carry my name”. I started to cry she said “I love you.” Dad came and got me I went into the living room. Mamaw passed, my first experience of death. My uncle and aunt that lived a couple of minutes away came up. Waiting for the corner to arrive, dad called mamaws sisters in Ohio. Aunt Mary answered dad told her about mamaw, she said Georgia (other sister) was sleeping that she was up earlier and didn’t feel well. So she would let her know later after she woke up. An hour later, Aunt Mary called saying she decided to go ahead and wake Georgia. To give the news and she had passed as well in her sleep. Two sisters two hours of passing and not knowing of each others death.
Trying to grasp this so called death – experience was confusing. Then these people brought a stretcher through the house. As I sat on the couch, a few minutes later they took mamaw out in a zipped up bag. My aunt said, I should have not seen that image. Its in my head still to this day. Death is a mysterious moment that stings our mind at times. There are no preparations to death. I had never seen my dad cry – Until that day, mamaw passed. This day had changed my life, in so many ways. That my next post My Story My Version – The Gift will be in-depth to death. How the impact to my life was positive and negative. How the out of body experience possibly prepared me for death experiences.
Look for 🙏My Story My Version – The Gift 🙏 coming soon.. Thank you reading my story and allowing my to share the experience. Please feel free to share thoughts and your personal experience.
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there, many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della💗🦋
As normal, the day seemed to be going well. Happiness was part of waking up, and the day was full of productive events. Later, throughout the day plans are on schedule as planned. Somewhere in our moment of happiness – unexpectedly, our day turns shifting to leave us feeling some different kind of way. While feeling some kind of joy and cheerfulness, the change kicks in. Possible breakup with a partner, a flat tire, unexpected expense, a sudden death, a co-parenting conflict involving a child, job loss, a domestic violence matter, or just a sickness, the list goes on and on. An event that leaves us feeling uncomfortable. That situation, consciously or unconsciously affects the next minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and possibly years to come., Unfortunately, no one ever wants to feel the pain that comes with the mental challenges we are dealt with..
At times, it just seems unfair, wondering what we might have done to have such pain thrown at us.. Why me? One might ask. Why must this happen to me? What have I done to deserve this? Questions we all often ask ourselves, and never do we get an answer… Answers always are comforting; it’s not your fault, smoothing out the pain, to help each other through the situation. Even with our best supporter, words are just words.. Most times we barely hear what is being said. At the moment, we feel as being paralyzed, numb, speechless, and blank-minded. The mind and body stop, almost like the blood supply just froze – in time. In that moment nothing could feel, see, touch, or hear, in the presence of life.. Everything besides actual death, seems to have taken place within the mind and body. A shutdown without notice, just unfunctionable to exist. Our so-called life just crumbled, pain stricken to feel non-existent. To gather thoughts or get up and move seems impossible. How does this happen to our body and mind all at once? There is no answer; there is no logical explanation.. Yes, the struggle becomes reality. Our reality… Our moment of reality, to face. What shall I do next? The truth is there a million dollar question we all ask? How do I fix this? Can I do this alone? Our soul screams on the inside, begging for help. We are silent. Why are we afraid to ask for help? Just one truth – we are human. Just being human, we are tossed into hell, chewed up, slightly battered, bruised, rolled, tumbled, beaten, criticized, and told to suck it up, your fine – and to function. Function? I repeat “FUNCTION”. If thinking and moving is functioning, plus responsibilities are part of being able to function; Hell No!
Functioning can be devastating to those who experience life-changing events for the first time. My encounter with function is far from close during my life-changing events. Life is the answer. Searching to find the solution to our challenges, obstacles, and pain – truth is called life. From our first breath and vision of light – straight out of the womb our fight to survive has begun. Babies are born with illness or never get an opportunity to see the light. I can relate to miscarriage in early pregnancy. This is horrible to even write. No amount of time can stop our minds from all the what-ifs, had I, wish I would have moments, but none of that changes anything. If people would see the reality; the struggle to survive, then the picture of life would be different.
Being a perception of that badass, fearless, invisible superhero does not excuse or eliminate you from pain. just because one claims the name badass. That stigma is a novelty written into your inability to chance or face life-altering events. It’s not a draw for tickets – to chance. It’s just life taking, it’s course. … For those who feel exempt from life’s course of challenges, please step forward. Don’t tell the secret. Just give a hint on how to avoid challenges in life we face at times? Trust me, I have suited up in the best armor and strong intentions to face life. Every time I got knocked on my ass, weak and non-existing in the world. Took the beaten path over and over again. Life does not stop for anyone or anything, not even lend a hand at times. So in regards to being a badass, what eliminates pain? Substance abuse, alcohol, medication, illegal drugs, any form of numbing effect. Take me out of this world – doesn’t that reason with why addiction exists? My friends, we are only human. Yes, I was and possibly will be the first one to push and shove to the front line of addiction. – when unknown trauma happens.
We are not taught how to deal with tragedy, fear, bullying, pain, death, illness, trauma, separation, divorce, debt, homelessness, personal attacks, etc. We are not experts at life until we expire and leave this earth. Simply because we are challenged face to face one-on-one with life or death. Surviving life is challenging.
This is the definition of a mental health crisis. You are not alone. I am right beside you, begging for mercy. I will admit at times, life sucks. Good days and bad days come and go . Unpredictable days never completely go away. They just become manageable (at times). As a child, if we were able to sign up for life classes, I would have been there. That’s not an option, we are taught first hand unexpectedly. With limited rules, no skipping class on homelessness, debit, death, co-parenting, life-threatening illness, domestic violence, miscarriage, divorce, etc. Those courses are taught in real time settings. Actually, these events teach us valuable lessons on how to be human. There is no right or wrong answer; different situations affect each of us differently. That’s perfectly okay and normal., One will deal with it regardless of whether you feel exempt or not from the situation. Overtime, those situations catch up to the ability to function, crippling emotions, feelings, and well-being, creating more health concerns in the future. Our struggles are reality, if everyone in the world played Red Rover🤸🧚🤼🧍we would all be joined holding hands. There is not one individual living who has perfect mental health. If so where do I sign up for lessons on life?
Just something to think about today and everyday forward🎭 we wake up with questions or options each day:. Which mask shall I wear today? Do I feel like my normal self? Or shall I wear my mask to face the world?
Then tomorrow we do it all over again.. The bitter truth is, because no one wants to listen to sadness, other people’s problems, it’s depressing, right? Most conversations start by briefing what someone’s going through. The conversation changes in a short period of time why? Problems take hours and hours to fix and figure out. We are wrapped up in our right now, moment to even really care. We are an army of one, to face and deal with our own challenges. Am I wrong? Tips, ideas, and resources are available, but we listen to or read what we think we help us. It’s self help. Our instinct to look for reasonable answers without asking. Self-help is how we get through life. Learning what works best for our needs. Being your own supporter. Through trial and error we help ourselves push through challenges. Without the self-help feature, our ability to function becomes limited.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there . Much love and blessings. Remember Everyday Minds Matter 💘 Della🦋
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