Are you someone who experiences intense and unstable relationships, coupled with a constant fear of abandonment or rejection? Do you feel like your emotions control your thoughts and behaviors, leading to conflicts with those around you? If yes, then it is possible that you may be dealing with borderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD is a mental health condition that affects approximately 1.6% of adults in the United States, characterized by impulsivity, unstable mood, identity disturbance, and a tendency to engage in chaotic relationships. This often leads to a cycle of emotional abuse that can be detrimental to both the individual with BPD and those close to them. It’s important to remember that you are not alone, and there is help available for those experiencing BPD.
Here are some strategies that can help break free from the cycle of borderline personality and abuse: 1. Seek Professional Help It is crucial to seek professional help from a licensed mental health professional who specializes in treating BPD. Treatment can include therapy, medication, and self-help strategies that can help manage symptoms of BPD and reduce abusive behavior.
2. Join Support Groups Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can provide you with emotional support and coping strategies to deal with challenging situations. There are many online and in-person support groups that can help you find the support you need.
3. Educate Yourself Learning more about BPD and its effects on you and your relationships can help you gain insight into your own behavior and better understand how to manage your emotions. By educating yourself, you can take more control over your thoughts and behaviors, and prevent abusive situations.
4. Practice Self-Care Self-care activities such as exercise, mindfulness, and spending time in nature can help manage the symptoms of BPD. By taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, you can reduce the stress and emotional reactivity that often contribute to abusive behavior. Breaking the cycle of borderline personality and abuse can be challenging, but it is possible.
By seeking professional help, connecting with support groups, educating yourself, and practicing self-care, you can improve your relationships and your mental health. Remember, you are not defined by your diagnosis, and there is hope for a brighter future.
At 5 am, many of us might be peacefully sleeping in our beds, unaware of the struggles and fears of those living in an abusive relationship. This story will explore of one such individual who felt such a painful deviation. Anxiety began filling the vessels of every nerve throughout her body. Tears surfaced from deep clenched pain that had no mercy. Once the whiskey evil words of hatred and violence were near – chilling pain and tension surfaced, Rooted fear without camouflage. Knowing those words would turn into punches – Coming from the person who was supposed to love and protect her. Read more about power of fear and the courage it takes to break free and survive.
Meeting the abuser The first time I ever encountered my abuser was an unforgettable experience. It was a cold December day, we both worked for the same company. I had just finished up my work for the day. I turned around to find a dark handsome stranger smiling at me. He introduced himself and told me he had been watching me for a while and wanted to get to know me better. I was charmed by his good looks and charisma, so I agreed to meet him after work the following day. Little did I know, this seemingly charming man would soon turn into my worst nightmare. When we met the next day, he seemed kind and caring. He was attentive, nice, and funny.. In no time the weekends were spent together, out of town visits, and my heart held a special place for him. Somewhere in a hidden spot in my stomach, I felt unsure, love played the tune. When the song was in tune, it had a beat that was great. On occasion the tune was unsettling from time to time.
Time played its course with all the sweet, kind gestures he offered. My heart wasn’t new to love but he just knew those walks in the park were heartfelt.
– As we soon decided to move in together after 3 years of living apart. In my heart, I didn’t feel the “want to” but my heart cared too much to say “no”. I had known of a woman he dealt with, the details were only told by her. Our conversations were meaningful, yet my heart wore special glasses. Not knowing the truth or getting his story I didn’t question him further. The ups and downs were because of cheating and lying that began to cultivate from his past. Needless to say, in a sick way I seen the reality soon after we meet. It seemed like I wore special glasses that blocked so much, I couldn’t see the truth. However my mind was right on point with whatever was taking place. A guard seemingly was around my heart. It had no hurt or tears as the days continued to pass.
Life seemed good and our needs were filled, the bills paid, and our want for nothing was balanced. Simple life seemed to be good for the most part.
Nice cars, nice home, friends, family nothing was off or questionable. One day after work, outside talking with my neighbor, greeting him after his work day – a not so pleasant eye. Immediately, he stated “I am in the house”. I laughed it off and continued conversation with my neighbor. After awhile, I went into the house, a very hard hit, blow to the face. My heart shattered like a perfect glass to unrepairable pieces of a broken heart. Lost for words, numb, confused, hurt was far from the impact left. That burning feeling on my face had no reality to what happens inside my soul.
The days when love gave your soul the jitters, a beautiful wave that same call “love”. The smile that covers your face and the giggle and laughter that explodes to be released, a silly thing “some call love”. The moment you kiss and your body wants more, a spontaneous gift some call “love”. Days and nights had the beautiful waves of what “some call love”. That what some call “love”, takes time to build and create. One blow to the face – destroyed that what some call love – just two seconds. Those two seconds “can not”, I repeat “can not” give back that jittery wave of what some call love feeling – again. That blow to the face stung for a moment, confusing every word, thought, or intention for awhile. Nothing was the same, the wounds were deep and the patches were cheap. You can’t repair a cheap thought, action, or words, when trust has a high value. Every word was processed differently, analyzing every moment, every step. The hit didn’t hurt, what hurt was I didn’t understand. Everything about me, I fine combed in 3 days. Soul searching to why? The wound was gapped to deep to stitch. Everything changed that day and many days to come, a zombie that died and crawled through life. A mind that heard no beauty to life, nothing made sense at all. We were not okay in my eyes, he seemed I had a problem. And 4 years in – time, time, time. That played in my mind over and over.
However, it soon became apparent that this man had an evil side. As he became more comfortable with me, his true colors started to show. He would become angry and controlling whenever I disagreed with him or didn’t do what he wanted. At first, the abuse was verbal. He would call me names and belittle me. But it soon escalated into the physical abuse. He would grab me by the arm, hit me or push me against the wall. The fear of not knowing what he would do next left me feeling helpless and trapped in an abusive relationship. I eventually mustered up the courage to leave him, but I always went back. Learning to adjust is difficult, trying to grasp the emotions and mental pain. The physical abuse is painful at the moment. However the emotional and mental turmoil is permanent. But the emotional scars remain and the memory still haunts me. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not from their significant other. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to let go of those who hurt you. One thing is for sure though: I will never let anyone take control of me again. I am living proof that there is life after abuse and pain.
The early signs of abuse We’ve all heard the stories about abusive relationships, but for many of us, it’s hard to spot the early signs. It’s easy to think that these types of relationships only happen in movies or to people we don’t know, but in reality, it can happen to anyone. In the story above, the early signs of an abusive relationship were present. The first sign was the fear created by the whiskey-fueled words. These words are often used to manipulate and control a partner, which can lead to a cycle of fear and hurt in the relationship. The second sign was the hand reaching out to grab the arm. This type of physical aggression is a clear warning sign of an abusive relationship. It can be a sign of dominance, control, and intimidation. It’s important to remember that abuse doesn’t always begin this way. It often starts with small things, like criticism or yelling. Over time, these behaviors can become more extreme and dangerous. If you see signs of an abusive relationship in yourself or someone you care about, it’s important to reach out for help. Support from family and friends, as well as professional resources, can be invaluable in helping someone get out of an abusive relationship. It’s also important to seek support if you’re unsure whether your partner is abusive. According to research, there are several questions that may indicate whether a person may have an abusive personality:
1) Does your partner criticize you?
2) Is your partner possessive?
3) Does your partner yell at you?
4) Does your partner force intimacy without consent?
5) Does your partner threaten violence against you or others?
6) Does your partner use drugs or alcohol to keep you under control?
7) Has your partner ever hit, kicked, choked, bite, shoved, pinned down, burned or threatened any pets while they were angry at them? These are clear indication someone may have aggressive behavior.
No matter how many apologies are said, they are not real. These are just words of pitty to keep you from leaving. You build a defense that is anger from the hurt of deception, lying, cheating and self destruction. You feel embarrassed by letting this happen for so long. You feel stuck and sadly you stay. It’s a horrible cycle that cycles more abuse in time. When you think it would get better, it’s hell to pay to try to leave. It gets much worse, than it had been before. A vicious cycle where trying to survive is unpredictable. It becomes a known feeling it’s time to leave. It’s only something you know for yourself.
The breaking point It had been months, those months became years, since the whispers of his anger had begun. At first, it seemed like something I could ignore, a feeling of unease that was brushed off as nothing more than a passing emotion. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, and years, it became clear that this wasn’t just some passing feeling—it was something far more sinister. The outbursts had grown in intensity, turning into full-blown tantrums filled with screams, shouts, and threats. It was like living in an emotional minefield, never knowing when I might set off an explosion. And then, on that fateful morning at 5:14am, the breaking point was reached.
His hand had reached out and grabbed my throat, and for the first time, I felt completely powerless. The terror I felt in that moment was something I will never forget. All of my senses were heightened, and all I wanted was for it to end. But as his whiskey-soaked breath spewed out more vile words, I knew that there was no going back. This was the moment when I realized that I had to get out of this abusive relationship. In the days that followed, I made the difficult decision to leave. Despite the heartache and pain that came with it, I knew that it was the only way to free myself from this dark situation. Looking back now, it’s hard to believe that I allowed myself to be trapped in such an abusive environment for so long. But thankfully, I have been able to move forward and heal from this traumatic experience.
Today, I am still thriving to find a healthy relationship with someone who respects me and treats me well. Where there is no longer any fear or anxiety surrounding what he might say or do next; instead, be able to talk through our problems together and find solutions that work for us both. Someone who will help me to reclaim my independence and build up my self-esteem again after years of being told how worthless I am. Even though you’re well aware of the words falsely tossed in the air. No matter how strong you are, those words still affect you in time.
When you are stuck in an abusive relationship, it can feel like you are walking on eggshells every day, never knowing when you might trigger your partner’s rage again. Just know that you don’t need to put up with abuse anymore–there are plenty of resources available that can help you take control of your life again!
Every day she thought about leaving but found herself constantly battling an inner voice that was too scared to move forward. As much as she wanted to escape, she was petrified of facing life alone, so she stayed locked in a perpetual cycle of suffering. The inner demon is a battle itself. I want to be free but my heart speaks a different language. Staying is a cycle that can’t be explained. You’re in a situation that you know is wrong, you know it’s horrible and a powerful mind game that keeps you there. It’s something you can’t express or explain.
That is my home too. It’s a painful way knowing it’s not a choice. It’s a mind game…. To be continued
Until our beautiful minds meet again be safe out there. Much love and many blessings. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋
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Intermittent explosive disorder (IED) is a mental health condition marked by frequent impulsive anger outbursts or aggression. The episodes are out of proportion to the situation that triggered them and cause significant distress.
Do you feel like your emotions are often out of control? Do you sometimes find yourself in situations where you feel overwhelmed and suddenly lash out with uncontrollable anger? If so, it is possible that you may be suffering from intermittent explosive disorder (IED).
IED is a mental health condition characterized by frequent episodes of intense and impulsive aggression. These episodes are usually disproportionate to the situation or event that has triggered them and cause significant distress for the individual as well as those around them. While most people experience feelings of anger or aggression from time to time, IED sufferers may experience these feelings more intensely and more frequently than other individuals.
Symptoms of IED can include: difficulty controlling emotions; excessive emotional reactivity; angry outbursts; impulsiveness; irritability; physical aggression toward objects or other people; verbal aggression such as shouting or threats.
If left untreated, IED can have a detrimental effect on one’s quality of life. Sufferers often struggle with social relationships, job performance, financial difficulties and even legal problems due to their inability to manage their behavior. It can also have long-term consequences if not addressed such as an increased risk of heart disease, stroke and even early death.
Fortunately, there are effective treatments available for those who suffer from IED. A combination of psychotherapy and medication can help to reduce the intensity and frequency of symptoms while also helping the individual learn healthier ways to cope with difficult situations. It is important for those who believe they may be struggling with IED to seek help from a qualified mental health professional. With the right support, it is possible to lead a happy, fulfilling life free from frequent episodes of uncontrolled rage and aggression.
If you or someone you know struggles with frequent episodes of outbursts or aggression, they may have a mental health condition known as Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). This disorder is marked by impulsive anger outbursts or aggressive behavior that are significantly more intense than the situation that triggered them. These episodes cause distress for the individual experiencing them and can make it difficult to cope with everyday life.
Living with IED can be difficult and there is still a lot to learn about this condition. While there isn’t one single cause of IED, research suggests it may be caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental and psychological factors.
Common symptoms associated with IED include irritability, an increased tendency to easily get angry, difficulty managing one’s emotions, low self-esteem and explosive behaviors that range from verbal to physical aggression. It’s important to note that not all episodes are violent and often times individuals will simply experience extreme emotional distress without outward signs of aggression.
Individuals who suffer from IED can benefit greatly from therapy, support groups, lifestyle changes and medications. With appropriate treatment and self-care practices in place many people suffering from this disorder find success in controlling their anger outbursts or aggression and improve their overall quality of life. If you or someone you know is living with IED seeking help from a professional is essential for long term success in managing symptoms associated with this condition.
Dealing with someone with IED
If you are dealing with someone who has intermittent explosive disorder (IED), it is important to understand that they are going through an emotional and behavioral condition that can be challenging. IED involves intense outbursts of aggression, usually lasting less than 30 minutes, in response to a perceived insult or frustration. It is not easy to deal with someone with IED, but there are strategies that can help make it easier for both you and the person you are dealing with.
First and foremost, it is important to be patient and understanding when communicating with someone with IED. Let them know that their emotions are valid and try not to get frustrated if their mood swings between feeling good and angry. Speak calmly to the person so that they don’t feel overwhelmed or attacked. Avoid being confrontational and instead focus on being supportive. If the situation starts getting out of control, try distracting the person by suggesting an activity or engaging in a meaningful conversation.
It is also important to avoid triggers when possible. Ask the person what things might trigger an episode of IED, such as certain conversations topics or certain people, and then do your best to avoid them if possible. Doing so may help prevent outbursts from occurring in the first place.
It’s also helpful to seek professional help for both yourself and the individual with IED. Talking to a mental health professional about how to manage episodes of IED may be beneficial for both of you. Therapy can also provide support and guidance in managing symptoms while helping you better understand what’s happening on an emotional level.
Finally, it is important to remember that although IED can be difficult for everyone involved, there is help available. With patience, understanding, compassion, and support from mental health professionals, those affected by IED can learn how to cope more effectively.
It’s no secret, and truth is out there. That living in an abusive relationship can be harmful to your physical and mental health, as well as your self-esteem, but it’s not always so easy to figure out how to get out of one. It takes time for days, months, and even years to leave a toxic relationship. Sadly, some never leave the relationship, and the abuser takes the life of the victim.
Recognize the signs of a toxic relationship Unfortunately, we don’t always know when we’re in a toxic relationship. There are signs that can help you identify the toxicity and get out of it before it hurts your life any more than it already has. -The person always criticizes you and never agrees with what you say or do. -They make you feel like everything is your fault. -You’re always walking on eggshells around them and they don’t seem to care how they make you feel. -No matter what you do for them, it’s never good enough. You just end up feeling frustrated and powerless. -Nothing is ever their fault; it’s always yours. -It feels like no matter what happens, this person will have an excuse for why things went wrong. They’ll find ways to blame you for anything and everything that goes wrong in their lives too. -Nothing is ever their fault; it’s always yours. -Be honest with yourself about whether these behaviors happen only sometimes, frequently or all the time. If these behaviors happen all the time, then there’s a high chance your partner is not being respectful of you.
Set boundaries with your partner In order to survive in a toxic relationship, you have to set boundaries with your partner. For example, don’t answer the phone when they call or text you. If they come over, tell them it’s not safe for you right now and that you’ll talk later. The next time they come over, say no and ask them to leave your house. You can also try changing your cell number if necessary. When they make contact again, do not speak to them. Write down everything they do and document it so you will know what repeated behaviors to look out for in the future. Seek help from friends and family who support you. Find an outlet (such as writing) to release any pent-up emotions from dealing with this situation. Keep yourself busy to avoid having too much idle time on your hands. Talk to people close to you about how they feel about what is happening because it helps and gives them peace of mind knowing they are there for you.
Create a support system The only way you can survive an abusive relationship is by building up your support system. You need family, friends and even strangers that will be there for you no matter what. This will help you feel less isolated and like you’re not the only one going through this. If they know how bad it’s gotten, they might also be able to offer ideas on how to deal with it or ways you can get out. If these people don’t want to take on the burden of being involved in your life all the time, find some who do! Just because he doesn’t want to fix his problems doesn’t mean you have to stay at home crying and waiting for him. Spend time with friends, join groups, go online- anything that gets you out of the house.
Seek professional help If you are in an abusive or toxic relationship, it is time to get help. You deserve happiness and shouldn’t have to stay in a relationship with that kind of environment. We encourage you reach out for the help you need. There is always someone there for you if you need them; whether it be family, friends, or professionals who can help with your situation. Remember, life isn’t meant to be miserable. Make sure that if you decide to leave a relationship like this, do so safely and don’t take anything from the other person that may jeopardize your safety – including social media passwords. The first few days after leaving will feel like the end of the world, but know that they will pass and things will start to seem better. Find new hobbies that make you happy, as well as meet new people who will support your decisions (even if they’re not perfect). You deserve happiness and don’t have to stay in a relationship where you’re constantly unhappy because this is how it’s supposed to be. Life isn’t meant to be miserable! Know that you deserve happiness and shouldn’t be staying in a relationship where you’re constantly unhappy because this is how it’s supposed to be. one day soon you’ll realize all of this has been worth it.
Know when to walk away There are many reasons why you may need to end your relationship. Are you being mistreated? Has your significant other been unfaithful? Does he/she refuse to do anything with you? The list goes on and on. It can be hard to make the decision, but know that there is life after the breakup. The first step is acknowledging the problems in your relationship, then deciding if it’s worth trying for change or if it’s time for him/her to go. To reach this conclusion, ask yourself these questions: -Does your partner get jealous easily and try to control what you wear, who you talk to, etc.? , stay in the relationship. If they’re not respecting your boundaries, they don’t deserve you. If they’re not respecting your boundaries, they don’t deserve you. If their not respecting your boundaries,they don’t deserve you. I live here too. When love goes bad, sourness fills the room daily. Pain of cheating, abuse, and demands. But I live here too, it is my favorite word. No love, just anger, and tears. Not married or married, or together for too long. It’s hard but it passes in time. You are a priority, you matter most. Sometimes overtime, we wake up and know it’s time to go. May tomorrow be your day, so happiness fills your soul once again. You deserve love, peace, and happiness. 💕
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
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