Has anyone told you, how important your mental health is today? My friends, your mind matters everyday, all day – for your own self awareness and those around you. Here we are 2023, mental health is no laughing or joking matter.
It’s no secret that our mental health plays a crucial role in determining our overall quality of life. We may have the best job, be surrounded by amazing family and friends, and have plenty of hobbies to stay entertained – but without mental well-being, the good times won’t be nearly as enjoyable. That’s why I am here to offer some essential tips for unlocking your mind and creating the happiest life possible. Are you ready to unlock the happiness you been waiting for? If so, read more to get started today..
Prioritize Your Self-Care
Your mental health should always be a top priority. Self-care activities such as meditation, journaling, taking baths, and going on walks, will do wonders for your mind. This allows you to practice positive self-talk and focus on building healthy habits that nurture your mental health. Every day, take time for yourself to relax and reflect on your day. Make it a goal to set aside at least fifteen minutes for self-care activities. Spend this time allowing your body and mind to relax. Take this time to focus on positive thoughts, gratitude, and good self-talk. You can also use this time to identify unhealthy habits that may be causing your stress and develop new, healthier habits. Self-care is essential for managing mental health, and setting aside dedicated time to focus on it will make you stronger.
Eliminate Toxic Relationships
Surround yourself with people who encourage, motivate, and bring out the best in you. Let go of anyone who only adds negativity or chaos to your life. Being able to do this takes courage and strength, but ultimately it can be freeing and liberating. It can be hard to step away from people in your life that don’t make you feel good about yourself or help you become a better person, but sometimes it’s necessary for personal growth. Surrounding yourself with people who believe in you and can motivate you to become your best self; can help you accomplish great things. Ditch those negative people who only bring chaos and negativity and embrace those who help lift you up. The freedom you feel from no longer being weighed down by toxic relationships will help make your journey to self-fulfillment that much easier.
When you start focusing on the positive aspects of your life, it shifts your attention away from stress, worry, and unhappiness. Every morning, take the time to write down a few things that you’re grateful for and end the day doing the same. Every morning, wake up with a sense of purpose and the determination to make the most of the day. To get the day started right, focus your energy on being thankful and recognizing the things that your grateful for. Today, I’m grateful for the cozy bed that allowed me to have a good night’s sleep, the opportunity to have a job that pays the bills, the love and support from my family and friends, the time I get to spend enjoying nature and life, and the strength I find within myself to be my best. Having the understanding of being kind to others and acknowledge difference.. Writing down these positive thoughts and reflecting on them at the end of the day allows me to appreciate all the good in my life and reminds me to stay positive, despite whatever challenges I may be facing. Each day incorporating positive gratitude in your day will offer enrichment in no time. Gratitude can be contiguous, when you welcome the positive energy. Well that flow of energy radiates more positive.
Do Something that Inspires You
We all have something that lights a spark in us and encourages our creativity. For some people, it’s drawing or writing, for others, it’s playing music or woodworking. Doing something that fuels your passion can have a profound effect on your mental health and happiness.
I just love sitting down to write a story or even create something beautiful with crafts. Writing has always been my go-to for a creative outlet, it helps me express my feelings, express myself in ways I couldn’t in other situations. There’s something therapeutic about having your words form something tangible. When it comes to crafting I always try to create something that looks professional and the best thing is, it doesn’t always have to be a specific outcome, you can let the creativity lead you in whatever direction you want to go. Taking the time to craft or write lets me forget all of my worries and enjoy the process of creating something that I’m passionate about. Doing something that inspires me always fills my soul with joy and creativity, so no matter what, it’s important to take the time to do what makes you feel fulfilled.
Show Compassion for Yourself and Others
This doesn’t just mean showing others kindness, but learning how to be compassionate towards yourself as well. When you do something wrong, be forgiving, patient, and understanding. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. understand that the greatest form of compassion is that which we give to ourselves. We can easily be our own biggest critics, which is why it’s so important to be forgiving, understanding and kind to ourselves when we make mistakes. We are not perfect and no matter how hard we try, it’s almost inevitable that at some point in our lives, we will fail or slip up in some way. This is part of the beauty and complexity of life – we have the ability to grow, learn and become better people by recognizing our errors and allowing ourselves the opportunity to pick ourselves up and try again. In addition, learning to extend that same kindness and compassion to others is a great way to enrich your own life. Compassion for other people allows us to form deeper and more meaningful connections with those around us, which can make all the difference in our everyday lives. This doesn’t necessarily mean to turn a blind eye when someone else is in the wrong, but rather, be compassionate in how we communicate and be willing to listen and learn. Being compassionate towards ourselves and others can have a profoundly positive impact on our lives. We should always be mindful of the way we think, act and speak and try to apply a sense of kindness and understanding in our daily lives. By showing ourselves and others compassion and forgiveness, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to form meaningful relationships, practice self-care and create more harmony in our lives. Understanding the power of kindness and its ability to impact the way we interact with ourselves and with those around us can go a long way in improving our overall mental, physical, and spiritual well-being.
Focus on one or two of these tips, applying them daily and don’t be hard on yourself. Practice these as often as you like, before you know it it becomes part of who you are.
What are you waiting for? Start applying these five tips to your daily life and your on your way to happiness. It’s such a wonderful journey creating a life of happiness and mental well-being. All you need to do is prioritize your self-care, be aware of toxic relationships, practice gratitude, engage in activities that inspire you, and show compassion to yourself and others. If you take these things seriously, the results will speak for themselves.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
Oh the ride through life. . . And my fortune cookie (3/16/2023) reads:
🦋🍀💞💖 (This should always be your mindset- overcome the battle win in life, being your best inspiration to others). In the positive way, overcome negative energy, with a smile, walk away and come back, in your positive resolve to win). Positive feels amazing). .🍀💞💖🦋
This is true to my character. As in My Story My Version: The Ride, the Drive, and in Park, this is my viewpoint to the world (Life) we use as our roadmap, (gps if you will.)..
The Ride, sit in the passenger seat and as you ride through life, taking in the scenery. We are collecting all the information along the way. It’s peaceful and educational, it’s the beating and the praise that life offers us. For learning, experience, and the knowledge that makes us fail or successful. Sometimes the ride isn’t enough, so we must push for a driver to teach, guide and help us gain insight. It’s a privilege to ride, it’s a honor to ride, but our driver must influence life skills to help us not hurt us. Meaning reach good intentions and steer us from bad habits/tendencies. (You get it!) We gathering tools to make good life decisions, we explore and experience the pain, tears, and bruttle truth. We share love, joy, happiness, and compassion. The experience that guides us in life, emotional, mental, and physical awareness tools. Without these experiences we are limited to our personal growth. Development to be your best self is incomplete. Our developmental growth should never stop unless medically determined. Knowledge is a continual need to live. Just as we need water to live, something’s we can not live without.. I know everyday I’m searching for knowledge (our personal storage of wisdom) 😁 to breath and live life. The Ride is our blessing to be understanding, knowledgeable, and awareness of being good people by nature. Take in the scenery, learn and educate yourself every chance you get. It’s best if practiced daily💞 make it routine, it increases your value to life. 🦋
The Drive is the tools applied to our life. What we are doing? Where we are going? How we are doing? And Why we are doing? It’s the purpose of who we are. The tools are used to get us through this roadmap of life. And hopefully the gps takes us to paradise one day. The fact is your belief on your terms. Mine is the Road to paradise to meet my God and praise the glory of his eternal life he has made for me or (us). Our drive is the motivation that determines our abilities to live life to it’s full potential. Be kind, be helpful, be creative, be dedicated, be honest, be hard-working, be the best you can be here on earth. What you didn’t accomplish today, tomorrow will determine your eligibility to continue your ride, drive, and park. It’s not promised, but your legacy is being documented. Your drive is here for others to remember, leave your mark with positive writing, energy, and time. Remember we are crowded here on earth, our legacy can be replaced very quickly. Think about that? Kind of a scary thought, that I did nothing with my time on earth. “Forgotten is invisible to the world” – I believe I matter more than those words. I want to help others see and be the happiness that our God foresee’s. In hopes that happiness is within my soul, shit, pain is the least need or want in my path. If all possible I will detour the road with positive energy embracing the experiences as needed to grow and learn. To enable and produce negative in my life is blocked for construction if all possible. To avoid negative, a road closure will help me fix the problem with understanding and knowledge so the road can reopen with a positive outcome. Don’t you believe you have value to life here on earth? You matter, your time is important. Fix the negative with positive energy. One thing I use as needed, when a negative energy is presented. Example: a negative person, to use kindness is a reflection of my character. If someone feels a certain negative way, that’s their inner character. To embrace positive is not in their ride, the scenery has influenced that ride. I can’t ride with them. But at the moment I can drive the positive to them. If they catch that knowledge with the experience. Then the ride can change the scenery. And hopefully when in park, the influence changed the ride. It’s the ride you choose. I can offer the ride and the park to educate your drive. But I can’t drive that route of negative. Sorry, my road trip has a detour for that ride. Just think about your road trip, it’s your choice to influence the trip. Are you gassing up for a remarkable drive to leave a positive impression..? I know, I’m trying my best 😁🦋
And finally in Park. . . We are at our thinking and our reflection in our minds and body. Actions, behavior, words, awareness, understanding and mindset We reflect how we are presented. How was your day? Was it a lazy day? That’s okay! In Park is the position in life that reflects our needs, desires, and drive. Thoughts push us in time to drive our purpose. Was it a busy productive day? The physical beating on your body but the feeling of accomplishment? How impressive, great job! No matter what your day presented, your reflection is a stepping stone. A stepping stone that represents you. What your drive determines is what, where, how, and why are life’s drive of understanding, knowledge and purpose. In park is the time to see, feel, and express cultivate your inner drive. You are checking the maintenance of your mind, body, and soul purpose. The- What’s next? What can I do to make my life positive, more for filling to my own being?
What is true happiness? All those questions are answered in Park. Our true being is found, determined, and that is Life’s happiness. Happiness is an awesome feeling. Happiness is healthy. Happiness and Love is the ride, drive and in park – purpose to Life and guide/direction to paradise. Love and let Love!!
As I have share the meaning of human life – purpose. The Ride, Drive and in Park, we can take one promise away from this blog post. A promise of learning, learning to be your best person. First for yourself to be happy- and we all know happiness feels wonderful. Second, is for others, inspire and influence positive energy. If your unsure where to start, I have a blog post for that.. ( will update soon with a link to help improve positive energy). But let me warn you it’s contagious😁 and final… .. 🍀💖
Finally, you don’t have to impress anyone. The trip is yours to enjoy and be blessed. You have to impress your final appraiser. And that judgement day is your will. Your belief and your final destination. Now, with that being said, like I said before, if paradise is my final destination – I’m going to enjoy this road trip with positive energy in hopes to have a big smile on my face when I reach – PARADISE🍀💖🦋
Life is full of the good, bad and ugly. As I know we all had the blessings of love,peace, and happiness- those negative influences have put us through “HELL”! 🍀The battle may be fierce but so is your resolve to win.🍀 My battle has made me stronger, wiser, and aware of who I am. With that being said, I worked to damn hard to go to “Hell” and burn all my valuable work! 💞💖 So I be damned, if I’m giving in to give my hard work, determination, and happiness to the Devil. Not today, Satan👹 – Resolve to win 💕💖🦋
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Much love and many blessings. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
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What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
“ Louise “
How wonderful? That just in a name it can be right on point to who we are. We can learn so much from little knowingly about our name.
Named after my grandmother’s – ” Della Louise”. Della my first name came from my father’s mother. Louise came from my mother’s, mother,
“Louise” is Christian Girl name and meaning of this name is “Renowned Fighter, Famous Warrior”.
The epithet ‘Louise’ is a perfect fit for your benevolent personality, compassionate nature and creative, artistic bent. You work to make the world a better place and people see you as having a very stylish, sophisticated and elegant demeanor. You live life to the fullest, are pleasant and gracious in your outlook, sensitive and open-minded to the views of others, and follow ideals to their highest heights. Those that know you are charmed by your exceptional nature, making you one of a select few.
Your heart’s desire is an adventure! Freedom is essential to your happiness. Traveling, meeting new friends, and getting new experience can add variety to your life. You are no stranger to change – you embrace it. Your sharp mind makes you curious about many things. You may find it difficult to commit. You want to jump from one project to another.
Della , actually it’s interested when you see how your name related to your character.
“Della” is Christian Girl name and meaning of this name is “Graceful, Noble, Of Nobility”.Based on numerology value 7, Della is Analytical, understanding, knowledgeable, studious, independent, fearless, investigative, proof oriented, practical Spiritual, Intelligent, Reserved, Mysterious, & Intuitive.Below is some points about the name Della based on numerology value – 7 Even more interesting my birthday May 7th.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there.. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
At 5 am, many of us might be peacefully sleeping in our beds, unaware of the struggles and fears of those living in an abusive relationship. This story will explore of one such individual who felt such a painful deviation. Anxiety began filling the vessels of every nerve throughout her body. Tears surfaced from deep clenched pain that had no mercy. Once the whiskey evil words of hatred and violence were near – chilling pain and tension surfaced, Rooted fear without camouflage. Knowing those words would turn into punches – Coming from the person who was supposed to love and protect her. Read more about power of fear and the courage it takes to break free and survive.
Meeting the abuser The first time I ever encountered my abuser was an unforgettable experience. It was a cold December day, we both worked for the same company. I had just finished up my work for the day. I turned around to find a dark handsome stranger smiling at me. He introduced himself and told me he had been watching me for a while and wanted to get to know me better. I was charmed by his good looks and charisma, so I agreed to meet him after work the following day. Little did I know, this seemingly charming man would soon turn into my worst nightmare. When we met the next day, he seemed kind and caring. He was attentive, nice, and funny.. In no time the weekends were spent together, out of town visits, and my heart held a special place for him. Somewhere in a hidden spot in my stomach, I felt unsure, love played the tune. When the song was in tune, it had a beat that was great. On occasion the tune was unsettling from time to time.
Time played its course with all the sweet, kind gestures he offered. My heart wasn’t new to love but he just knew those walks in the park were heartfelt.
– As we soon decided to move in together after 3 years of living apart. In my heart, I didn’t feel the “want to” but my heart cared too much to say “no”. I had known of a woman he dealt with, the details were only told by her. Our conversations were meaningful, yet my heart wore special glasses. Not knowing the truth or getting his story I didn’t question him further. The ups and downs were because of cheating and lying that began to cultivate from his past. Needless to say, in a sick way I seen the reality soon after we meet. It seemed like I wore special glasses that blocked so much, I couldn’t see the truth. However my mind was right on point with whatever was taking place. A guard seemingly was around my heart. It had no hurt or tears as the days continued to pass.
Life seemed good and our needs were filled, the bills paid, and our want for nothing was balanced. Simple life seemed to be good for the most part.
Nice cars, nice home, friends, family nothing was off or questionable. One day after work, outside talking with my neighbor, greeting him after his work day – a not so pleasant eye. Immediately, he stated “I am in the house”. I laughed it off and continued conversation with my neighbor. After awhile, I went into the house, a very hard hit, blow to the face. My heart shattered like a perfect glass to unrepairable pieces of a broken heart. Lost for words, numb, confused, hurt was far from the impact left. That burning feeling on my face had no reality to what happens inside my soul.
The days when love gave your soul the jitters, a beautiful wave that same call “love”. The smile that covers your face and the giggle and laughter that explodes to be released, a silly thing “some call love”. The moment you kiss and your body wants more, a spontaneous gift some call “love”. Days and nights had the beautiful waves of what “some call love”. That what some call “love”, takes time to build and create. One blow to the face – destroyed that what some call love – just two seconds. Those two seconds “can not”, I repeat “can not” give back that jittery wave of what some call love feeling – again. That blow to the face stung for a moment, confusing every word, thought, or intention for awhile. Nothing was the same, the wounds were deep and the patches were cheap. You can’t repair a cheap thought, action, or words, when trust has a high value. Every word was processed differently, analyzing every moment, every step. The hit didn’t hurt, what hurt was I didn’t understand. Everything about me, I fine combed in 3 days. Soul searching to why? The wound was gapped to deep to stitch. Everything changed that day and many days to come, a zombie that died and crawled through life. A mind that heard no beauty to life, nothing made sense at all. We were not okay in my eyes, he seemed I had a problem. And 4 years in – time, time, time. That played in my mind over and over.
However, it soon became apparent that this man had an evil side. As he became more comfortable with me, his true colors started to show. He would become angry and controlling whenever I disagreed with him or didn’t do what he wanted. At first, the abuse was verbal. He would call me names and belittle me. But it soon escalated into the physical abuse. He would grab me by the arm, hit me or push me against the wall. The fear of not knowing what he would do next left me feeling helpless and trapped in an abusive relationship. I eventually mustered up the courage to leave him, but I always went back. Learning to adjust is difficult, trying to grasp the emotions and mental pain. The physical abuse is painful at the moment. However the emotional and mental turmoil is permanent. But the emotional scars remain and the memory still haunts me. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not from their significant other. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to let go of those who hurt you. One thing is for sure though: I will never let anyone take control of me again. I am living proof that there is life after abuse and pain.
The early signs of abuse We’ve all heard the stories about abusive relationships, but for many of us, it’s hard to spot the early signs. It’s easy to think that these types of relationships only happen in movies or to people we don’t know, but in reality, it can happen to anyone. In the story above, the early signs of an abusive relationship were present. The first sign was the fear created by the whiskey-fueled words. These words are often used to manipulate and control a partner, which can lead to a cycle of fear and hurt in the relationship. The second sign was the hand reaching out to grab the arm. This type of physical aggression is a clear warning sign of an abusive relationship. It can be a sign of dominance, control, and intimidation. It’s important to remember that abuse doesn’t always begin this way. It often starts with small things, like criticism or yelling. Over time, these behaviors can become more extreme and dangerous. If you see signs of an abusive relationship in yourself or someone you care about, it’s important to reach out for help. Support from family and friends, as well as professional resources, can be invaluable in helping someone get out of an abusive relationship. It’s also important to seek support if you’re unsure whether your partner is abusive. According to research, there are several questions that may indicate whether a person may have an abusive personality:
1) Does your partner criticize you?
2) Is your partner possessive?
3) Does your partner yell at you?
4) Does your partner force intimacy without consent?
5) Does your partner threaten violence against you or others?
6) Does your partner use drugs or alcohol to keep you under control?
7) Has your partner ever hit, kicked, choked, bite, shoved, pinned down, burned or threatened any pets while they were angry at them? These are clear indication someone may have aggressive behavior.
No matter how many apologies are said, they are not real. These are just words of pitty to keep you from leaving. You build a defense that is anger from the hurt of deception, lying, cheating and self destruction. You feel embarrassed by letting this happen for so long. You feel stuck and sadly you stay. It’s a horrible cycle that cycles more abuse in time. When you think it would get better, it’s hell to pay to try to leave. It gets much worse, than it had been before. A vicious cycle where trying to survive is unpredictable. It becomes a known feeling it’s time to leave. It’s only something you know for yourself.
The breaking point It had been months, those months became years, since the whispers of his anger had begun. At first, it seemed like something I could ignore, a feeling of unease that was brushed off as nothing more than a passing emotion. But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, and years, it became clear that this wasn’t just some passing feeling—it was something far more sinister. The outbursts had grown in intensity, turning into full-blown tantrums filled with screams, shouts, and threats. It was like living in an emotional minefield, never knowing when I might set off an explosion. And then, on that fateful morning at 5:14am, the breaking point was reached.
His hand had reached out and grabbed my throat, and for the first time, I felt completely powerless. The terror I felt in that moment was something I will never forget. All of my senses were heightened, and all I wanted was for it to end. But as his whiskey-soaked breath spewed out more vile words, I knew that there was no going back. This was the moment when I realized that I had to get out of this abusive relationship. In the days that followed, I made the difficult decision to leave. Despite the heartache and pain that came with it, I knew that it was the only way to free myself from this dark situation. Looking back now, it’s hard to believe that I allowed myself to be trapped in such an abusive environment for so long. But thankfully, I have been able to move forward and heal from this traumatic experience.
Today, I am still thriving to find a healthy relationship with someone who respects me and treats me well. Where there is no longer any fear or anxiety surrounding what he might say or do next; instead, be able to talk through our problems together and find solutions that work for us both. Someone who will help me to reclaim my independence and build up my self-esteem again after years of being told how worthless I am. Even though you’re well aware of the words falsely tossed in the air. No matter how strong you are, those words still affect you in time.
When you are stuck in an abusive relationship, it can feel like you are walking on eggshells every day, never knowing when you might trigger your partner’s rage again. Just know that you don’t need to put up with abuse anymore–there are plenty of resources available that can help you take control of your life again!
Every day she thought about leaving but found herself constantly battling an inner voice that was too scared to move forward. As much as she wanted to escape, she was petrified of facing life alone, so she stayed locked in a perpetual cycle of suffering. The inner demon is a battle itself. I want to be free but my heart speaks a different language. Staying is a cycle that can’t be explained. You’re in a situation that you know is wrong, you know it’s horrible and a powerful mind game that keeps you there. It’s something you can’t express or explain.
That is my home too. It’s a painful way knowing it’s not a choice. It’s a mind game…. To be continued
Until our beautiful minds meet again be safe out there. Much love and many blessings. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋
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Have you ever thought about your personal story? Could your story or experience help others? Writing is a form of self-help. We never realize but in some cases, if we listen to our inner being we can help ourselves through challenges. If you’re ready to take your life in a new direction, let’s talk! Your experience and story can open a new found you. Just by creating a direction to help others.
Sharing stuff that matters
Writing is a great way to share your knowledge with the world, your story with the world, and your experience with others. You can also use Writing to share your knowledge about something that matters to you—like how to improve your health, find love!, Or rebuild a lawn mower. Endless topics,it’s your knowledge to share with others.
Gratitude – Prayer of “Thank you”
Gratitude is the key to happiness, success, health and everything.
Gratitude is a daily practice. The more you practice gratitude, the more it will become your default mode of thinking and behavior.
One step at a time – self-motivation.
The first step is to accept that you need help. This may seem like an obvious statement, but there are plenty of people who refuse to admit it and instead push themselves into a corner where they can’t escape. Don’t make this mistake!
Once you’ve accepted the fact that your life might not be as easy as it seems at first glance (and sometimes even later), consider taking some time off from your goal if necessary. If nothing else works then try giving up on one part of the task every few days until something else clicks into place and all problems disappear!
Emotions are real, I feel that.
Emotions are real, I feel that.
Emotions are a part of the human experience, and it’s important to acknowledge and understand them. Feelings are just feelings; they’re not always negative or positive—they just exist as a part of who we are. It can be difficult for people to deal with their emotions in an effective way, but it’s worth learning how to do so because there are many benefits from doing so:
On one hand, if you learn how to manage your own emotions effectively then you’ll be able to better handle stressful situations while also being able to feel confident moving forward in life
Self-talk is real, I speak it.
Self-talk is real. It’s the way we talk to ourselves, and it can be positive or negative.
When you’re feeling down, telling yourself that everything will be okay might help you get through the day. When you’re feeling happy about something, telling yourself that nothing is going to go wrong can keep your mind at ease until it’s time for bed (or work). In other words: self-talk helps us achieve our goals by helping us focus on what we want and letting go of what we don’t need anymore—and since we’ve already been talking about how important this skill is for achieving success in life, let’s continue!
Worry is real, I worry because its my story if i make it so.
Worry is real and it can be a useful tool if you use it correctly, but it’s not the only method for motivating yourself. In fact, worrying about things that haven’t happened yet can actually cause you to feel worse than if you hadn’t worried at all!
Instead of worrying about what might happen in the future, focus on taking action today instead. How? By setting goals and tasks for yourself that will help take control over your life by making simple changes like reducing sugar intake or finding time for exercise every day (or at least trying). Making slow progress is the first step. The rest generally falls in place if you continue to move forward.
By focusing on positive actions rather than pessimistic thoughts, I’ve found myself feeling more confident with my decisions because they were made consciously—and those decisions have been easier because we’re seeing results right away!
Section; Self-Belief is my gift. I believe in me and so do others.
Self-belief is a gift.
I believe in me and so do others.
Believe in your ability to solve problems, help others and earn success for yourself. It’s a gift that you give yourself by believing in yourself.
Why do I write? Because we are here to help someone else – solve their problems with theirs!
I write because it makes me feel good.
Writing helps me to express myself, and that is what we all need in life. We have so much to learn from each other and from our experiences, so why not share them?
I know that this is a lot of information and it’s hard to keep all this stuff in your head at once, but don’t worry! If you follow this advice, we will help you with everything. Writing is about taking action and doing things that matter. So just start one step at a time. You will get there sooner than you think!
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋
“Fear triggers Wisdom, connecting knowledge to life” – Della Lonaker🦋
“Without experience, Life shows no Emotion”. – Della Lonaker 🦋
“Life has a way to bruise us up, those scars are being barefooted along the way” – Della L.🦋
“Love is hard, Love is deep, Love is universal- hot glue; without it we crumble”. – Della L.🦋
“Fly once – enjoy the view, Fly twice you repeat the ride, and third time you’re ready for a new route. To Fly one must have different scenery to live Life”. -Della L🦋
“To cry is cleansing the soul, to hold back tears, – backing up emotions, don’t spoil a good heart.”. -Della L.🦋
“If you run fast enough, you miss the most important part – stop and pace yourself – not everyone gets to run again tomorrow “. – Della L.🦋
“Life has two features play or stop – pause and rewind are not options.” – Della L. 🦋
“Play fair and carefully, Life’s sudden twisted changes, determines who comes out to play tomorrow”. -Della L. 🦋
“The mind is like a butterfly, wondering from flower to flower. A gust of wind can change direction, as a damaged wing, can delay the journey. And the power of the mind can speed up recovery.”. – Della L🦋
The latest scientific studies have revealed some incredible things about what happens to us after we die, most of which you won’t believe until you see it with your own eyes! This blog post discusses the latest discoveries and what they mean for the future of humankind.
How we view life after death So what does all of this mean? This is a glimpse into the future. These are visions of what life after death looks like. At its simplest, we see that there is more going on than just the binary living or dead state. It’s not just black and white, but rather multicolored with many shades of gray. In other words, there might be some sort of afterlife after all, and it’s something we should keep an open mind about if we want to answer the ultimate question of life. However, for now, let’s focus on being alive. There is so much more to do and experience in this world before crossing over – at least for most people – and the best way to enjoy that time is by opening our minds up to new ideas and experiences.
Why do we have near-death experiences? Near-death experiences are thought to happen due to a release of life-saving chemicals called neurotransmitters and endorphins. These naturally occurring compounds can potentially lead to an out-of-body experience in which there is an awareness of one’s own death, passage into another world, or an immersion in one’s own thoughts. It could also be the result of hallucinations caused by oxygen deprivation or head trauma as the body tries to protect itself from oxygen loss during its final moments. In rare cases, it may be related to epilepsy. There are also many theories that try to explain why we have near-death experiences; some say it is because we’re about to rejoin our loved ones who have passed away while others say it is because we’re about to leave this world for good.
What are the main causes of near-death experiences? One of the main causes of a near-death experience is lack of oxygen. Studies show that there are two basic brain function patterns that take place in a near-death experience, hypoxia and hypercarbia. The hypoxia is when there’s not enough oxygen in the body and the person becomes sleepy and has trouble concentrating; this usually only lasts for about 10 seconds before it makes its way to the more serious hypercarbia. Hypercarbia means there’s too much carbon dioxide in the blood stream which can be caused by any number of things including heart attack or suffocation. If a person survives with their brain functioning, they’ll have memories of what happened during the time they had limited oxygen.
Why aren’t we all reporting NDEs? We can only guess, but it is possible that most people who experience this simply don’t report it because they feel like their experiences are not unusual. Many people have heard stories of NDEs and deathbed visions from older relatives or friends, but those older relatives and friends never share these stories because they’re afraid to worry the younger generation. It’s also possible that a person may be in denial about their own death, so when an NDE happens, they may choose to believe it was just a dream or hallucination. It could also be the case that some people have been embarrassed by a frightening experience (such as feeling trapped in darkness) and so never tell anyone about it.
How does the soul leave the body? People, especially in Western society, often ask how does the soul leave the body? This process can happen in three different ways. The first is from the physical body. As we grow older, our cells die and deteriorate to a point where we no longer have a functioning body. When this happens, there’s an absence of life coming from the person and it’s likely they have died as well. The second way is when a person who dies has their spirit take over another living being. In other words, the dying person takes possession of someone else’s body in order to live on. The third way is through an out-of-body experience (OBE). It’s said that OBEs occur for two reasons: 1) death may be imminent and the spirit needs time to prepare for what will come next; or 2) at any given moment one might not be aware that he or she has left his or her physical body and will return soon enough.
Purpose of Our Panoramic Visions We’ve all heard the horror stories of people who have had near-death experiences and were pronounced clinically dead, only to awaken later in a hospital with stories of seeing heaven. But what does this all mean? Is there life after death? Where do we go when we die? Is there an afterlife? These are some of the questions that many philosophers and spiritual leaders ponder. Near-death experiencers (NDErs) who come back from the brink of death tell us about their visions and memories, but it’s hard to know if they’re just making it up or really saw something. One possible explanation is that these panoramic visions are nothing more than hallucinations. In other words, they’re products of our own imagination – while we still live on earth – as a way for our brain to cope with dying. NDErs may experience tunnel vision or a sensation of weightlessness before going through the tunnel, but then find themselves floating above themselves at the moment of death. They then see themselves in darkness; often experiencing vivid images such as family members and friends waiting for them on the other side. Some even report meeting God during their experience. It’s possible that NDEs give people hope at times when things look bleakest, since so many describe meeting loved ones and feeling peace during these moments. Furthermore, they provide evidence that there may be life after death and point to a possible truthfulness of Christianity. And yet, skeptics argue that it’s impossible to prove the existence of an afterlife because we can’t disprove its nonexistence either. We will never know for sure whether there is life after death until we finally pass away ourselves. That said, I’ll bet you wouldn’t mind taking your chances if you knew you could meet your deceased loved ones again. To me, it seems like there has to be more to the story. While living humans can generate images of their own imagination within the last seconds before death, I would like to believe that there is something beyond death’s threshold waiting for me. I am willing to accept my fate as long as my soul doesn’t stay alone forever. In Mt personal experience, my eyes has experienced the realm that awaits. Not a hallucination that some claim. In moments of unexpected , visions and NBE’s have taught me about death and life after. It’s an option for each of us to believe or to not believe. But to have the experience is something worth sharing with those around you.
Can We See the Afterlife? Not only can our panoramic visions tell us about the afterlife, but they can also help us reach spiritual enlightenment. These visions act as a reminder of who we are and what’s happening in the world around us, ultimately allowing us to live a life that is more satisfying than anything we could have imagined before. Many people today are searching for the meaning of their existence, or looking for some type of spirituality. They turn to ancient religions and practices because they want an answer from someone else – an answer from someone other than themselves. With a panoramic vision these people may find their answers through an awakening into consciousness so deep it makes them realize how insignificant their worries really were. In this way, this form of visual art can be used as a tool for personal transformation and growth toward spiritual enlightenment. Each day we live life as we know it. Yet this life doesn’t compare to the spiritual realm that comes in the right time. It’s an inner peace of freedom to live life joyfully.
Those who are dying don’t cry, preparing for eternal life The end of life as we know it is a difficult and often dreaded concept. But for those who have faced death, there is something different that lies beyond—the possibility of eternal life. In recent years, more and more individuals have reported having panoramic visions during near-death experiences, which are said to offer glimpses into what lies ahead in the afterlife. These visions have been described as being incredibly vivid and profound. They may involve a range of phenomena, from hearing beautiful music or feeling a strong sense of love and peace, to seeing loved ones who have already passed away or travelling through a tunnel of light. According to those who have experienced these visions, they can offer insight into the afterlife, allowing us to understand more about what may be waiting for us after death. For those who are dying, these visions can provide great comfort and reassurance. Many report not feeling afraid or worried during their vision, even when faced with the ultimate mystery of mortality. Instead, they often feel a profound sense of peace and acceptance as they prepare for their journey towards the afterlife. These panoramic visions can also provide an important opportunity for the dying to gain closure with their loved ones. By getting a glimpse of what awaits them after death, the dying can take comfort in the fact that they will soon be reunited with those who have gone before them. In this way, these visions can be incredibly powerful in helping to provide solace and comfort during an otherwise difficult and frightening time. It is clear that these panoramic visions offer a unique window into the afterlife. Whether they are interpreted as literal depictions or as metaphorical representations of what awaits us on the other side, they can offer insight into life after death and help bring peace to those facing the end of their earthly life. These visions reveal that, although life after death might be difficult to comprehend, it doesn’t need to be feared. If you think of the transition of a loved one, tears never surfaced. The inner peace is visual to the point of a happiness in transition. What awaits can’t be real until we make the transition for ourselves. Until then we can believe that eternal life is everything we hope for.
What Happens When We Die? You might have an idea about what happens when we die. It’s easy to guess that when the body dies, our spirit or essence moves on or goes somewhere else. While there are many possibilities of what could happen at death, one thing is for sure; your life as you know it will cease to exist. But this doesn’t mean that everything stops with death. There is a lot more happening in the universe than what we can see from Earth and this includes energy, light and love going on past physical death.
Hallucinating before death Hallucinations are usually a result of neural activity in the brain, brought on by disease or injury. This is true for hallucinations that occur before death as well. For those who experience hallucinations before death, what they see will most likely come from their own thoughts and imaginings. There are stories of people with Alzheimer’s creating their perfect world before passing away, even if it means ending their life prematurely to be free from mental distress. It has been documented that children with terminal illnesses may have visions about heaven prior to dying. These cases are rare, but show how much we can learn about life after death through our panoramic visions. We don’t know exactly what these visions mean or where they come from. It could be a hallucination brought on by neural activity in the brain, an afterlife projecting their desires onto this reality, or a glimpse into another dimension we cannot comprehend. All of these explanations are plausible at this point; more research needs to be done so that one day we can finally understand the afterlife.
cconclusion The idea of life after death has long been a source of debate and fascination. While it remains impossible to definitively answer the question of what happens after we die, our panoramic visions can offer some insight into what might be in store. Our visions offer a glimpse into a potential afterlife, where we can continue to explore our spiritual nature and enjoy eternal peace. By understanding what our panoramic visions can tell us about life after death, we can better understand our own mortality and ultimately find peace. In this post, we’ve explored what our panoramic visions can tell us about life after death. We’ve seen that these visions provide a unique opportunity for us to gain insight into what may lie beyond the veil of death. We’ve discussed how our visions offer the promise of a potential afterlife, filled with peace and serenity. Lastly, we’ve considered how understanding our panoramic visions can help us come to terms with our own mortality and ultimately find peace. As we reflect on life after death, we can draw strength from our panoramic visions. These visions provide us with an invaluable opportunity to explore our spiritual nature and come to terms with the inevitable end of our earthly lives. With each vision, we gain insight into a potential afterlife that is filled with peace and serenity. We can draw strength and comfort from our panoramic visions as we strive to make the most of the time we have in this world.
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 💞🦋
The Mind and Eyes: End of Life – Final Days 👣 My Story My Version 👣
If life was only always so beautiful and pretty. Yes, I said pretty. We all live in that world of our own. A world that our minds will always view in our own time. Our personal way of believing and most of all thinking. To live the dream, stress free, family, children, financially stable, and be overwhelmed with happiness. I know that we dream those dreams when we are young. As adults, we are the builders to those dreams. In the eyes of our visitors, everything from the outside is beautiful. The builder of those dreams, that isn’t easy, stress free and a blissful dream. We see everyone around us building a home, for a family, it looks easier than reality offers. We are wired to see the world move in a favorable promise. Especially when others make it all seems easy . But is it really as easy, as it appears?
Life happens and situations take place.
Something happens, we hate to forcefully admit to even face the thought of – illness or sickness. But the final days of end of life – for ourselves or a loved one. In our happy minds we are all just going to live forever. Even that thought can be corrupted or faded far from our minds. Nobody wants to imagine life without someone they love dearly. Life is built around family and friends, a routine. Of course we all love those we spend time with.
Some illness can be short lived or terminal that can be life changing. Not only for the individual, but the loved ones as well. Either to help care for the person or being the one with the illness; we are involved. That’s what love is and that’s who I am. I have been on the flip side to be with loved ones who get that “news”. It is like having that illness yourself. It’s emotionally painful. That damn it moment because that settling reality takes awhile to hit home. A million and one thoughts roll through our head. Planning the care, the who, what, when, and where plays in our thoughts – Real truth.
Are we present when we get that “news”? Yes, we are, yet it’s a fogging blur to comprehend. Reality to grasp the truth is tough, as it can crawl to realize this is it. As a slow, speed of understanding and comprehension of the illness – our mind is preparing for the – real truth.. Acceptance, acknowledge, and respond. The what’s next? Our angels are present, to carry us though. Those preparation days are filled with illusions that are real. In the moment, we wonder who will take care of us? Or we are the caregiver that is right there. The crippling pain that lies ahead, good days, bad days, tears, laughter, but we are in it together. It’s not easy to watch the loved one during the final days of life. However, we are blessed for the time spent. The Final days are an insight of what’s to come. We watch our loved ones talk with those who wait and guide us through our final days. Those that may believe are hallucinations from the dying process are assumptions. The moments are not hallucinations; by far as the final days is quite interesting. Many will say it’s medication or brain activity that causes end of life responses. So much one can learn about life and death, being a caregiver or observing a loved one’s final days.
My grandma was not medicated through hospice. I controlled her intake of what medicine came from hospice. What was given was very little. Grandma was aware of what was going on around her. She was able to tell me what her needs were. If I already knew, grandma did not, I repeat did not want to be knocked out to sleep. If she slept that was that, if she was awake, she was awake.
My grandma at 92, didn’t want to leave “us”. Of course her body was tired, 92 is decades of wear and tear on a person. She never missed a day without being fully focused or alert. A woman who never smoked or drank alcohol a day in her life. Everyday hours and hours I spent as her granddaughter and caregiver. For almost 20 years, I was involved with grandma’s doctor visits and involved in her life in general. I knew Grandma well enough and talked to her daily. To know her routine, depression, and overall well-being. She always knew where she was and was alert to her surroundings.. In October 2020, during the pandemic grandma got the “news”. The damn old Cancer was back from vacation. The moment was real. No matter what I was in this for the good, bad, and the ugly. As I wheel grandma out from her cancer doctor visit, going through the motion took over. The real truth – I never really imagine life without grandma. Grandma was a huge part of my routine, my world, and who I was. To break the silence, I said well looks like you stuck with me now grandma. She said “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”. Telling grandma with this pandemic, least we don’t have to wear these mask. That did make us happy, and being grandma’s caregiver my caution to prevent covid-19 was priority.
We meet with Hospice and they would agree to check in once a week or if any concerns or questions we could call 24/7. Grandma stayed with my mom. I went over everyday from morning to evening. As I could almost pinpoint what was next. For the most part, grandma was pain-free in her final days. What’s the real truth is her final days. Having mouth and throat cancer; all medication stopped 8 days prior to – her end of life.
Here’s what some fail to notice: real truth. My experience as a granddaughter and caregiver during those last days.
In those final days, grandmas attitude and personality changed. She was happy and loving more than ever. Grandma would talk about her mom, she would say, “they talked about everything”. Grandma & I would laugh and I said, “why’s your mom coming when I’m not here”? She comes after work, grandma said she been working a lot. Asking what kind of work she did, she does what you do, check up on people. I said, grandma, she keeping her eye on you. Making sure your not out dancing and your here getting better. My mom does, she keeps me company, gives me comfort, and tells me about where she lives.. And she don’t have to do much since you do a good job. 😉 Where does your mom, stay grandma? Mom said, it’s a beautiful place, she can’t describe it. She says, I will see it soon and be very happy. Will you live with your mom, grandma? Grandma just shrugged her shoulders, as it didn’t matter. In the conversation I could feel the energy of excitement in grandma. I just listened, after a while, grandma said, we need to lock the doors and windows. Men are coming through the walls. As my response was: Dang grandma, what kind of men are coming through the walls? They will help move me and take me home, grandma smiled as she talked. It was a calm and collective tone of voice. Grandma didn’t seem worried or scared. Now, as I listen, you would think a person would be scared or afraid. However it seemed like grandma was happy and ready. To me it was like the process of end of life, something changes in a person.
Six days before my grandma passed, entering her room I stood, watched, and listened. As I saw a woman with a medium build, snow white hair, stand to the left side of grandmas bed. The conversation was unstoppable. I could hear grandma talk about her life here on earth. Grand & great grand kids, her own children, her bird, it was like catching up with an old friend. Grandma had a mouth sponge she used like a sucker. The excitement was part of her being fidgety, wide eyes, and very talkative. At this phase she had stopped eating and could not even drink or sip water. In the middle of her talking out loud I walked in the room to her presence. Her eyes were wide, her smile was endless, her excitement was felt. Greeting her as routine, ‘good morning, grandma”. Normally I get the same response, quickly. This time she couldn’t talk fast enough about the presence of her mom. She said they talked all night and she was exhausted. Grandma asked if I would be there with her that evening. I said of course, where are we going? She said, a man had to meet with her and they would have coffee and cookies – she could bring someone, then they sang and danced. It was a welcoming meeting, to mingle with others. I said, “welcome meeting”? Grandma said yes, that’s where I will be going, in a few days. The conversation: when am I going to go home? I said you are at home grandma. Just where you’re supposed to be.
As I listened to her, she said we will talk more afterwards when she got better. Now the conversation got real, she said “how much time do I have to live”? I knew Grandma wanted to live forever, so my response: “what makes you think your going somewhere”? She smiled and said, Well? I spoke from my heart. Not too much longer, maybe a week.. (She didn’t know her son from out of town was coming in). Her response was okay, the guy is supposed to talk to me tonight. Grandma kinda dozed off to sleep.
I was doing my normal daily routine, cleaning her room and changing bed sheets, regular care and out of nowhere. This day Grandma was full of information and questions. Grandma asked if my mom was okay? My mom checked in on grandma and helped when I wasn’t there, as they lived together. This question I knew Grandma needed to know. . I said, “yes grandma, my mom is fine”. I knew this was that question of being okay. To have her end of life there at the house, question. When the time comes you will be here as I promised. You will have all us that love you around, in this room.. Then you can fly with the angels, as they guide you to heaven”. You will be a beautiful soul renewed once you get to heaven.. She made a smirk and whispered. Then her eyes got big and said, “yes I know.”
She said, Della call the police see there, they are large with no clothes. Large men, that have high shoulders. If they are wings they have no feathers or hair. She said that they are not very pretty. Why are they here grandma? She said, they are supposed to move me, soon. I said, you’re not moving anywhere. She just shook her head yes.
I said, “are they people, angels, or what”? “Angels, Della”! Her voice cracked when she said those words. In a few blinks grandma kind of looked scared. She stared at me, barely using the mouth sponge, just as she got lost in thought, confused, or dazed.
Grandma knew she wasn’t hallucinating and was present to awareness., Very alert. She always knew her surroundings. I said, I thought Angels, were pretty and beautiful? Grandma shook her head, whispered “they are not. I always thought that too”. She said, your collection of Angels is pretty. I said, well they are not angels. In a crackled voice, yes, Della they came, maybe 4 or 5. Then she looked as if she was lost in conversation, staring again. After moments of silence, grandma starting talking a little. I laughed saying was you day dreaming? “No, Della those Angels just glow with nice colors”. With my own eyes, I could see a ray of what appeared to be a dust glow from the window. The light shines from the side window, from the sun. It was early afternoon, it had snowed I told grandma bout the weather. Grandma looked like she was dozing to sleep, then she look up and said, “see the light”? You didn’t hear anything I was saying did you? The man I talked to last night said watch for the light. Man? Light? Della, the man came to see me last night for the meeting, remember. I said, I wasn’t there. I went home last night. He came not long after you left. It was dark then?
“Yes, it was dark my night light was on he sat next to my bed. He even lifted me up in the bed a little.”. He had nice white hair and polite. I asked what he say? “Don’t be afraid”. Was you afraid or scared? A light laugh, “no I wasn’t afraid”. He held my hand and said words, I couldn’t understand him. Then he said he was taking the cancer and sickness from me. He did something cause I could hear him better.
Who was he? He is going to take me home. My heart broke and I could feel comfort, and peace filled the room. But you are home grandma, your not going anywhere. Until you fly with the Angels.🦋
It was real, my eyes teared up. Grandma in a demanding voice, “I know where I am. Right, when the Angels come”.
Grandma knew going home to heaven was flying with the Angels. No tears or sadness when she said those words.
I just watch her stare, barely any movement, fixated, in the moment. I went to the kitchen and was telling mom some of the conversation with grandma. Mom said it must be her days of confusion. I said she was not confused. I believe her, she is actually telling us how and what the process of death is. Just her way of not saying, I’m going through the dying process. But she was and I was able to observe, listen and learn. An unbelievable deep experience.
I had never questioned grandma for information. When she spoke of things I’d listen and make conversation with her. I will say that in her last couple days of life, she slowed in talking. I could talk about how I will miss her, love her, and say it’s okay for you to fly with the “Angels”. She always said “I Love you” back to me. Even on those days, but the stare was like a transitional exiting phase. I would talk crying my eyes out, and those moments were real truth. Life after death takes all pain away. Grandma had a few single tears maybe four total. In the two days of this process. My belief of pure truth life after death. Exiting our body during death is a process with an illness. As grandma said the man who came took cancer away.
I want to share some personal experience that’s – real truth. I can say, from experience I have walked, cried, been a caregiver over the years, watched, and learnt about death. Had I ever seen my loved ones cry before passing? Maybe a single tear, but cry? I have not. Now I have been the biggest cry baby moments before and after losing a loved one. That pain is crippling and life changing. We cry for the loss of a loved one, that’s entering eternal life of happiness. In my best knowledge, our minds are the way to life beyond death. As a person that experienced a realm to life after – the real truth beyond any hallucination of life. No matter the cause of death days prior, we will know. Our sense will be in a whole different presence. Something feels good but that we can’t fully grasp. Out of spontaneous energy, our sense of closure and connection are released to others. The attachment – bonding is a form of security and the littlest gestures help release that bond. Heard the myth that those dying, wait for someone, hanging on then once they arrive, they pass?. It’s true for the closing attachment to help us through our days without them. If you take a moment to think about the prior days before, – the real truth of closure not always presented. It might have been days, weeks, but the “good-bye” is there. At some moment, it was different. But it was a blessing, between you and your loved one. An example, if you have routine dinner, that evening you may have spontaneously enjoyed the evening outside. Just talking a week prior, in which those opportunities don’t take place. It may have been a silly gesture your loved one gave before leaving your house one day. If you really let your mind show you the peace offering it will be available.
The day grandma passed was expected but never was I ready for it.. I felt numb and thoughtless – dazed, even knowing happiness and no sickness was her transition to eternal life. The attachment is why we struggle. Loving someone is a painful experience. But as humans, to live for love is our purpose. To have eternal life, love is our purpose. If failing at love is an option, I don’t want any part of it. I am not religious by preaching testimony. I do believe, and I once was afraid to die. I was afraid of leaving this earth. The feeling was like going to the middle of a desert being left alone. Actually I was terrified. I watched death from a different experience and my own eyes. When we are faced with the loss of a loved one, we are crippled. Thinking is difficult and logic is far from reality at the moment. Clear focus is by far to make decisions or choices. Our first reaction is to hide or cover the pain. So actually the real truth is – those true moments are missed. Our minds tell us differently due to the state of mind. Reality is in the moment, as loss of a loved one, takes us out of the moment. Our time is motioned by pain, anger, and disbelief. The acceptance to have to de-attach from a loved ones presence is brutally painful.
The truth is, love others like your life depends on it. Those who leave us are safe, secure, and waiting to see us again. The presence of time does not exist in eternal life. The spirit of our soul is God’s final project..
Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter-Della 🦋💕
When you feel like you’re addicted to something, it’s because you are. If you think about it, addiction is just a symptom of a problem. It’s not the problem itself—it’s what happens when you try to solve your problems with drugs or alcohol.
There are no pain killers that ease the pain of death. There is no pain killer in drug or alcohol form that solves any problem. My personal experience raw emotions over time, struggles of addiction and time in jail. Only one pain killer that is legit and real – Deal with it face to face. The truth is not easy, its painful, and a living hell at times. The truth is, it takes a long time to heal, cope, and deal with life events. Those challenges are open wounds. No one will admit to and wants to face – pain. My pain and struggles changed my life – forever.
Time is crucial to grief as I learnt the hard way. In my world, nothing made sense. Why? I couldn’t allow myself to feel raw emotions. Until I was forced to.
To me, I knew the pain would surface. For so long, I thought dodge ball would give me time to adjust. Time had lost its value, the world moved around me. I functioned due to that’s what life teaches us to do. The world doesn’t stop because you lost two loved ones seven weeks apart. The world doesn’t stop for anyone or anything.
Honestly, the days became a blank stare, everything moved as I stood still. My job at the time, was behind a computer. Thinking of the events was not happening while working. I choose to be a picker on a cherry picker. This the physical movement would keep my mind busy. I thought the grief had passed and life went on. Until….
September 11th, 2002. Brother that passed his birthday was Sept. 10th. That morning of the 9-11 year anniversary. In honor the company had moments of silence for both plane attacks. I buckled out of no where.. Functioning didn’t make sense. I hit my knees and fell apart. Crumbled to life raw painful emotions.. Six months after, life stopped. The only thing that matter at the moments was to leave. Walking in to my supervisors office, “I quit”. Out of character, he told me that I was okay. That I had time off work and just do whatever I could. Those words were not okay on my behalf. Once again, “I quit, you have no clue”. The HR lady called my name, and said here’s FLMA papers go to your doctor. They should give you time off work. She walked me to my car and explained the process. I went straight to my doctors office at that time. This doctor had been new and my first time meeting or seeing her. Explaining my situation, asking to help with FMLA. Her choice of words, did not go over well. She thought it was bogus to need time off work. Depression or anxiety, any of that she thought I was fine, just trying to get paid. My tolerance level just ticked. It was not the right time or practice of option, to her observation. I stood up and said, ” I hope you still have your father and your brother”. Quickly her response was ” yes I do”. I said that’s why you have no right to judge me, you have not experienced what I’m going through”. As your tongue was sharp, I hope you think next time before you share your opinion. When you can’t speak without experience just do your job. I got up to exit and my regular doctor was shocked. Leaving the office, I went to a doctor close by my house. I told the office I had just left my family doctors office and the situation. By law your not suppose to do that “doctor shopping”. I had not a care in hell, I needed help now. The doctor I seen was older, experienced, he knew I needed help. He personally made a phone call to the prior doctors office. Mentally I was a mess, yet I thought I was strong enough as time passed. Then falling apart, nothing was real. Emotions were painful, the triggers I was not aware of. The day after my brothers birthday. My mind starting thinking, remembering, wondering, and it happen. The anti-depression and anxiety medication were prescribed.
My days sleeping 15 to 20 hours a day. I must have been overwhelmed with exhaustion. If I woke up to eat or use the bathroom, daylight or night was never acknowledged. To shower was a big functioning task, that didn’t matter. Why should it when I’m just sleeping all the time, right? I became non-existent to the world. My mom would open my bedroom door check in on me. She had tried to make sense of it, her words would stick through my barely open eyes. ” I love you”, I heard many times. But I could barely move or function. Antidepressants became a non-functioning zombie creation, I hated more. My struggles were deep, changing medication made it worse. At some point over a course of 6 months time – my eyes opened more often. Hopeless, helpless, I needed help.. The struggles were daily, hourly, and serious. I suppose I got enough rest, cause I no longer wanted to sleep. Something inside of me was making sense. I rarely continued the medicine. So unconsciously I slowly detoxed from prescription medications. My only option was self-help. I began to write, as I would lay awake in bed thinking. I struggled with why would depression medicine make a person sleep.. ? Actually I started to feel worse taking the medicine. In time I was going back to work, the day was approaching. My mind was all over the place.
Slowly adding to my daily task, writing was priority and waking up was too. I had to face a lot of challenges. I had woken to a pending drug charge that was mine. My charges, my fault, not the addiction, – my problem. Not grieving, not understanding, not knowing, and hiding pain with addiction drugs and alcohol.
Functioning is a real struggle when life keeps moving. – Standing still is tough. But reality being crippled, disabled, mentally stopped in the tracks of life. Numb, thoughtlesss, living in a foggy world that I could only live in. I created this fog because I never learnt to function to death. Death- a zombie trying to drag ass through life. Life that’s so painful – crawling, due to, I been beaten, rolled, tossed, and shattered inside, and out. A hot mess in reality. I stank as a person because I didn’t know my strength. Giving up defeated me. I was all that above and more. Ripped, toren, high, drunk, and a walking mental mess.
Non-existent one where problems now surfaced and facing jail time. I felt invisible to jail, traumatized by life events, there was no excuse. My problems were my responsibility to be human again. Face life as I now had challenges. Obstacles that surely did want to face.
I had to report monthly to my parole officer. I had a great job, I was drug free and I honestly felt great. My goal was to conquer my grief with positive energy. At work, I pushed my limits to excel. But I felt alone. The lonleness created another addiction – sex. The truth is I was going to the gym working out, feeling great, going to the tanning bed, I never felt so amazing with ambition, life made sense. Or did it? My sex addiction was replaced from drug addiction. I made a promise to God to keep me safe and protect me during my journey of exploring sex options.. I refused to be attached to any man. I had lost two of my favorite men in my life. Loving a man was not an option at the time. My plan of action was in form of good habit routine. I was loving yet not lovable to my inner pain. My parole was about done. Drinking started regularly as my sex addiction slowed. My habits were changing as I knew my routine was about to be disrupted. Filling a blank isn’t always easy.
The challenges of living back on track “the good life”, still has negative impacts. After completing parole, I now had a felony charge on my background and record. Career moves and education would be tested. Blessed with a hard work ethic, my felony never gave any problems. In time I had my felony expunged. That wss inner peace of my self. I furthered my education with a Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology in 2010. I was coming alive inside cause I knew how to. Overtime I Iearnt what it takes to overcome. Being defeated is temporary. I felt I wasn’t strong enough to fight, down to being defeated. Wrong was I? I built an empire that I never knew was possible. So much can be done. No that anything is possible with one tool.. The master to life is 🗝️ to the mind, and that’s time. Educating the Mind. Your mind is power. You have the world of endless dreams when you open your mind. Educating the mind to life is a promise to overcome challenges. The best defense is knowing you have the option to learn. My life is far from perfect, knowing life makes sense is what matters. Struggles are life’s tools that give us strength. Love is an opportunity to prove your worth of being human. Love is told to be a beautiful thing. Love is the most painful experience that one must face. Truth be known Death is the love to eternal life. We must feel the worst level of extreme pain. That pain of life is the sacrifice to death. Afterlife of no pain, no sorrow just pure happiness of a world created by our God. My God has shown me life that exist beyond realm. As I have felt and visioned the life through my own eyes.
Life is precious to our eternal days. We will face the good Lord with treasures of our character. If those treasures are damaged at fault of yours, overcoming might be challenging.. Life of misery and hell will be provided, as you create your destiny. Time here on earth is measured by blessing to help one another, and valued human life as you perceive it. Hurting others and offering negative energy maybe your choice to void eternal life that’s promised. Until that judgement day is face to face with death. May you be the best product to life. A product everyone is proud to know and be a part of. If those words bite or sting- you have power of the mind to educate your options to overcome actions and behaviors. You are stronger than you think. As the mind never fails if you apply the time and work. Defeat is not an option to eternal life. Challenges may be mountains but mountains can be climbed. Lace up those boots and motivate the knowledge to be your best self. Life is best when dealt with by learning to overcome with a powerful tool – the mind.
Thank you for your time and for visiting ✔️Mental Mess, Life, and God. 👣 – My Story My Version – 👣
Not everything has an immediate solution. But knowledge can help you through it. Patience and time will guide you if your willing to put in the work.
If you want to stop using, there are a few things you can do:
First, figure out what caused you to start using in the first place. Was it a traumatic experience? Was there someone who told you that using drugs or alcohol was acceptable? Was it peer pressure? Childhood environment? Life has so many hidden stressors that we are blinded by. When we think, we aren’t strong enough? Think about a plan of action to overcome. Keep the plan fresh in mind. Support yourself with enjoyable positivity. Once positivity begins to flow, it becomes a regular flow.
Once you’ve figured this out, make sure that whatever caused your addiction no longer exists for you. If someone tells you that drugs or alcohol will make your life better, try not to believe them. They may have been lead by peer pressure and may have had some sort of experience with drugs or alcohol themselves—but they’re not responsible for your decisions and can’t expect you to make the same choices they did.
The next step is figuring out how much time and money are going towards solving these problems and how many hours of sleep are being lost because of them. Identifying these things will help keep track of solving the problem. Addiction is easy.. Overcoming is a challenge but your mind is powerful to help you through. Don’t give up.. Get up and face to challenge. In time you will gain so much positivity, ambition will guide you with a peace of mind.
Love to hear your experience and rewards of overcoming challenges you experienced. Shared stories can be the best therapy for another who is challenged with life of addiction or events. Feel free to share your experience.
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della 💞🦋
Life seemed to be good for me, a Junior in High School. One weekend I left my car at work. Rode with friends to hang out around the forth of July in 1995. My friends boyfriend was much older who kind of, okay he was weird. We were going to his house, to hangout; in which he lived with his parents. Arriving, the feeling was creepy, many acres of land and an old house. A house that immediately, presented visions flashed faster than fast forward through my eyes – like reality. The projector was intense, visions with people walking all around the house inside and outside. He joked as we got out the truck that many years ago, funerals were held in the main room of the house. Yes, being creeped out was more than a feeling. I felt and saw way too much as the flashes of visions, made me feel sickish. In less than fifteen minutes, I seen the zombie apocalypse in reality. People walked around like we weren’t even there. A whole world that is beyond death. Spiritual world that takes place everyday, like we go on about our days. Not even knowing the spiritual world exists around us, but it does. The ability of seeing this world is beyond a gift. In the movie “Ghost”, Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are clear examples of the world viewed through my eyes. Trying to communicate is frustrating, as are they able to see me? What message behind the visions do I need to know?
That moment my perspective changed on death. That creepy feeling was a peace and calmness that came over me. Actually it was interesting, yet wonder if they could see me.. My friends boyfriend would talk about ghost being in the house. He said many noises were heard which was right on point- for sure. The plan was to watch movies; night hanging out no alcohol or drugs which was rare for us on a weekend. Others wanting to watch faces of death, scary, creepy, or blood movies. I never understood the need to torcher the mind and body with such demoralizing content. That’s not my choice of movies, immediately I said,” no way”. Of course I am out ruled and “Faces of Death” it was.
I never was someone to watch any type of violence, death or blood seeker-gory movies. My point, it is mind-warping negative images that I’m not interested in seeing. Having visual gifted vision was enough. We were all talking and kind of missing the movie. Which was my plan to offset watching at all cost. Conversation and laughing was better while the movie played on the TV. So not really paying attention to what was on the screen. All sudden I froze, was numb a spirit stood by me pointing to the TV. I felt the connection was beyond real. The screen was a guy in a bad car wreck, I barely could watch. My head began to hurt, eyes blurred, and the projector played in my head. The faces of death on TV matched my projection playing, a sick, nausea felt in my stomach. The face of my cousin was real, black and white image on the TV screen did not stop the real message. . Looking at the clock it was a little after 2 am. Something happened, my mind and body was feeling it. My head began to pound, eyes twitched and blurred, perspiration in my hands. Heat ran through my veins, as my face felt flush and sweaty.
Felt like the others have seen this drastically change in me. Trying to overcome the uncomfortable feeling seemed impossible. I told my friend it was getting late, I should go home. On the ride to my car, it was like being on a rollercoaster ride, feeling I was rolling and dizzy. Only 4 miles to my house, was eternity. Arriving home, I went in and wrote in my journal then fell asleep. Waking up my head still was hurting not as bad but it was noticed. I heard the phone rang so I went to my dads bedroom door. My dad said “You got to be kidding?” I knew what I seen was real. Dad hung up the phone it was bout 7:00 am. He asked if I wanted to go to my uncles house, that my cousin was killed in car accident last night?. Yes, I will go. My neck hurt really bad. Once at my aunt and uncles house, learning bits an pieces of the accident. My family was crippled by the news. My cousin being a popular, handsome young man in his 20’s. A full life just before him and just getting his CDL’s. Life didn’t once again seem fair. Seeing the visions, gave in-depth meaning to life and death – Seeing is to Believe 👀.
Late January of 2002, one evening for dad to be in bed was rare. That week he mentioned a few times he didn’t feel well. As he continued to say he would see his family doctor. Checking in on him, a yellow tint was noticeable. I knew it was serious, called 911 to have him taken to the hospital. Following the ambulance many visions continued like a slideshow in my head. No matter what was to come, I would be right there. From behind, I could see a women’s shadow, sitting next to him in the ambulance.
Gang-green set in on dad’s gallbladder. With infection, drain tube experiment, and the discovery – that “C” word – cancer. Gastric cancer, those words hit me like a ton of bricks. Everyday for days to come were blurred, numb, but I was there day in day out with Dad. The decision to take the stomach to golf ball size – to remove cancer. My drug addiction was discovered – to numb the pain- here I am! My middle brother and I got really close; as we all struggled with the news. “Meth” was the go to, need to, and my want too. “Add it” the addiction, suppressed feeling of what was coming. The day of dads surgery, it was a very lengthy procedure. Many hours and complications it was late that evening; once we got to see him in recovery. My heart broke in many pieces, it was real. Before seeing him, my body tingled, it was not a good feeling.
He had a breathing tube in and he was exhausted. My eyes got blurred, my hands sweaty and my body was weak. My face flush, my words mumble, needing to get fresh air. Tears were fresh and emotions felt in deep stabbing heart wrenching pain. I walked down a hallway, white walls and a bright light. Feeling as I felt my way down the hall.. As dizziness, nausea, faint weakness, and clammy feelings of hot flashes filled my body; A voice “I am so sorry honey, your father is a very sick man. We have tried everything to make him comfortable.” Barely being able to see because of how weird I felt, I said “thank you so much”. And before I could say anymore, she was gone. I knew she was real by her taking my hand and talking to me.
Days to come were hard emotionally, mentally, and physically. Never had I felt so numb and so thoughtless. My mind was blank – blank as in, I couldn’t think or process anything. My body had just functioned on auto-pilot. Drugs became my push through that enabled a functioning behavior. To hide the pain and emotions that were real. “Add it,” grew in need as time didn’t stop. Cancer then became over powerful to spread aggressively. Dad passed away March 3rd, my world stopped. The world around me kept moving. Functioning was just that, with additives. Additives of drugs were daily and very frequent.
My middle age brother “Bull” became my best friend. His character of stubborn and bull headed gave his nickname. He lived within walking distance in front of dads house. Our conversation and closeness helped me function. I was proud to be his sister. We connected like never before in the past years. Time was special for sure.
*** Bull – My Brother ***
It had stormed really bad, while coming home from work. I noticed a huge rainbow of beautiful bright colors. It was a very happy moment, but was it a sign? After returning home, my youngest brother called my brother I got very close to was in a boating accident. The news spread fast as my brother was missing from the boat. A storm had mad the waterways rough and a barge may have passed. Causing the boat to capsize due to combined weather and water conditions. His long time friend who was legally blind had made way to shore. My brother had thrown him the life jacket, and my brother began to swim.. The rough waters from the storm challenged my brother.
As the water rescue team, searched for my brother, night had closed in. We sat on the banks of the river in silence watching. My uncle said ” this the stuff we see on the news and we turn it off and go to bed”. Those words hurt deep, with truth, as it was real. That moment we wished could have been a bad dream or the ability turn it off. . It was our family, our brother, son, friend, one of us. Seven weeks after my dads death and now my brother?
To find my brothers body was priority. Prayers were in high demand. In three days of Water Rescue searching the waterways to recover the body. My younger brother found a cooler lid that read “Hope”. My mom felt someone kiss her in the middle of the night and say “I Love you!”. She barely seen a face but knew someone was there. A roff.frsat on my window seal for those three long days. A week prior to the accident, my dad came to me, stood at the end of my bed. I thought I was dreaming, he said, “God will never give you more than you can bare”. A blurred vision the projector – a side glimpse of a mans face. More than once, I said, “Pop, who is it”? I couldn’t see clear enough,. An angel in my room fell from the wall. It was real that image was someone – just as my collection of angels never failed. The boy angel below an angel picture of children. A girl angel kneeled across from the boy. The blue angel boy off.from the wall after my fathers visit.
I was scared when the police knocked on the door. My brothers body was recovered. Relieved for that part of closure but devastated. My addiction got real, really quick. Being close to another was not in my plans. Numbness wasn’t even close to a feeling. The world moved around me, for the most part I barely stood still. I struggled with addiction. I struggled with life, I struggled with who I was, who I become. The struggle was real.
Having a closed casket for my brothers wishes. He wasn’t keen on everyone seeing and crying over him, as he was also a private person.
Which he told me those wishes seven weeks prior at our fathers funeral. Walking into the private viewing before the service, ability to see him. My heart sunk in my stomach, a side view. “Yes, dad gave me that vision”. My brother, the face was clear, a side view across the room.
Why would I have these vision if I could not change anything? Life didn’t have answers. Answers to this world, my life and connecting to death. Well it was too damn much. My addiction grew but I could careless. My drinking was regular and my ability to take care of me – was failing. A time or two I remember doing laundry finding a shirt of my dad’s. The scent of old spice or Brut after-shave. A scent that I love to smell, even the reminder brings fresh tears. Thise little things were so crippling. I was so angry, pissed off, drugs was an addiction that grew to cover pain. At one point, I begged God to take me out of this world. It just wasn’t fair.. I didn’t want those visions, it made no sense. I wasnt myself anymore. I was suppose to function in the painful world. How does that happen in a normal person? Normal I once was, life took that from me. One thought that never amazed me more – life is the real raw experience that is not learnt. Its learnt with pain, emotion, physical and mental pain. Its called “live it” by experience. You and only you, can know those raw moments. Functioning is tough, functioning is unpleasent everyday. Until you learn to grieve. Grieving is the key that opens your world- of you once again. I had no way of dealing or coping by experience. This my friends, was my experience to cope, grieve, and grow by experience. Drugs and alcohol become a habit to function. A suppressing mechanisms to cover emotional pain. In my state of mind, I was losing myself. Help was my next need, but how, who or where does this begin?
Look for my next: My Story My Version: 🙏My Mental Mess – My Life – My God 🙏
Until our beautiful minds meet again. Be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter – Della 💞🦋
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