Stuck in the Middle: Growing up in Separate Homes

Talk about feelings and emotions
Photo by Kindel Media on

As parents we are protectors, teachers, providers, and offer love for our children. In such a struggling economy, money is tight and stress levels are high. Leaving relationships in a stage of a breaking point. Sadly children are suffering from the fighting, the speration, and left in the middle of living between two homes. It’s difficult for children to understand the mixed emotions when parents separate or divorce. If you might be experiencing a co-parenting situation read into this. So let’s look into the co-parenting roles and the impact on our children.

Growing up in two houses can be both a blessing and a curse. Mixed emotions can be felt, blessed to have the best of both worlds—a warm, comforting environment at my mom’s and the same from my dad’s. Asgets older, they might begin to see the down sides of the situation—the yelling and constant bickering that parents seemed to do no matter where the child was. It can so hard to go to school feeling depressed, exhausted, and anxious. Some children experience so many emotions swirling inside them—anger, sadness, confusion, and a deep sense of being lost. Some are often too scared to ask parents what was wrong or why they were so angry. Again in most cases resort to just assumed it was because of them. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

We need to break the cycle of bickering and emotional outbursts. We need to create an environment of understanding, communication, and empathy. We need to start talking to our kids about how we feel and how our feelings affect their lives. We need to let them know that it’s okay to talk about their emotions and ask for help. We need to give our kids a safe space to be who they are and make mistakes. It can be tough growing up in two households, but it can also be an amazing learning experience. If we’re able to foster communication, understanding, and empathy, then it can be a place of growth, discovery, and resilience.

As adults, it’s our job to give kids the tools to succeed, help them grow into strong, confident adults, and develop strong mental and physical health. Unfortunately, a child growing up in a divorced household can suffer a variety of negative effects if the parents don’t come together and act in their child’s best interest. Yelling is one of the worst things you can do when co-parenting. A child who’s already dealing with the pain and confusion of two separate homes can become emotionally vulnerable when exposed to aggressive behavior.

Lacking the proper resources or understanding can impact a child’s life long-term. Triggers that impair motor and cognitive skills, that impacts the quality of education. It can take a short time of time or multiple occurrences to effect a child. This time frame varies depending on the severity of each situation.

Sometimes we don’t realize the amount of stress we carry until an situation takes place. Leaving us with poor judgement and behavior to simple matters. Apologizing only goes so far, proper adjustments can improve the results. Be patient, be kind, be ready to understand and communicate. The emotional effects of constant yelling at a child is heartbreaking itself. Just think about the long-term reality of routine yelling at a child. Actions speak louder than words, take control of your behavior. Intelligence goes a long way when implementing your own behavior.

Teach your child to be calm during disagreements. It’s in your abilities to teach guidance and understanding. Why not start where the problem starts?

Until our beautiful minds meet again, be safe out there. Many blessings and much love. Remember Everyday Minds Matter -Della 💞🦋

  • **** Withholding love is another form of neglect and something that can do tremendous damage to a child. Regardless of their situation, kids need the assurance that their parents are still there for them, and a cold shoulder will leave them feeling hurt, unwanted, and unsure of their own value. *”*** Being harsh or rigid in discipline is a poor parenting decision for anyone, but for children who are already under emotional distress it can lead to feelings of shame, confusion, and a belief that their behavior will never be accepted by their parents. By understanding the lasting impacts that come from any form of negligent or hostile parenting, we can strive to make sure our children are equipped with the knowledge, resources, and love that they need to stay healthy and strong through a very trying time in their lives.
  • * Yelling not only does long-term psychological damage to the child, but can increase levels of anxiety and anger, causing them to act out in inappropriate ways.
  • ** Neglect and absenteeism from either parent can be devastating for the child. Not being available for comfort or care during times of crisis and struggle can cause emotional, psychological, and physical damage to the child, as well as create trust issues in future relationships.
  • *** A lack of communication can also have negative consequences for children of divorced parents. Not having access to an adult to ask questions, explain thoughts, and confide in can leave a child feeling alone, anxious, and even guilty if there are disputes between the parents.